To Love and Be Loved

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You are my forever. You are my missing piece. These are the words that we crave to hear or want to speak to a significant other. But what if I told you that this isn’t really true love? What if I told you I no longer believe in soul mates?

Okay, okay, bare with me and don’t just jump to your conclusion by telling me that we are all entitled to our own opinions. Believe me, I was once a romantic or a believer in that fairy tale we all wish to be a part of. But I also woke to the realization that we have pervaded what true love really is. We hear the stories or the songs that play on our earphones, radios, televisions, and read it in articles or books. But do we truly really know what love really is?

Let’s take a step back and touch the subject with a clear conscious. We all know that love is derived with emotions but what if I told you that there is much more than that, that love is also sacrifice? Devotion? Is unconditional? Many can atone that it is something that transcends time and found through the relationships of those who have been together for awhile or even in the bible:

4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

So what am I getting at really? Why am I saying that we have misinterpreted love? The truth is we have allowed love to merely rely on the emotional connection or the physical one, forgetting that love connects in all factors, spiritual, emotional, and physical. We either focus on one aspect more than the other and the foundation is love. Or to state the truth, we set for ourselves guidelines that our significant others must follow and lose the beauty of it being unconditional. The truth is, no one is perfect, you are not, and someone else will not be. We all make mistakes and you should never change for someone but it is true that with someone you can become a better person. Looking for someone to meet your expectations is unhealthy, controlling, and leads to disappointment.

Now to be honest, who am I to speak of this? I’m single, I just recently experienced a break up. But it is the value of what love is that I am writing this, so that others don’t fall to the idea of love instead of truly loving. It is easy to be infatuated but it is truly hard to love and when you truly love you learn that love is wholehearted and is truly sacrifice. Instead of looking for an experience, an emotion, we forget or don’t seem to understand that love is a union. Two people, different, yet becoming as one but truly it is not a “missing piece”, it’s two people willing to work through any difficulties they may face. It is a commitment, a choice we make, whoever you decide to marry is your right one. The problem people have is that when things get bumpy they run away or don’t want to face it. They have seen how comfortable they were alone and they allow their pride or even advice affect the relationship that is ahead of them. In turn we try to rush love as well, instead of learning to love ourselves and also realizing that no matter who you are, your significant other will love you as you are and see something within you, you yourself have yet to see. It is truly two people working as one. There is beauty when two people come together and it is pure. I am not saying that I am no longer a believer in love but I am certain of true love and not facade in which people portray or allow to invade the notion of it.

For me, love has been a constant journey and in these moments I allow God to lead me to my to be. As I work within myself and am changing daily I understand that patience, respect, trust, are all traits that come with the characteristics of love. As well as believing that a firm foundation in all three factors is necessary, to me, God is love and with him we see it’s purest and truest essence. When we truly learn to know the person and ourselves, love will flow like rivers, growing deeper than any ocean. That is love.


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