“I’m too difficult.”
“I’m just not ready.”
Let’s be honest, we’ve all at one time in our lives have stated those words above. It’s funny how life really likes throwing curve balls or even God when we least expect it. We are so quick, those who are single, to say these things. Even amongst those who are in a relationship, they believed life was unfair. In this day and age, we are surrounded by a twisted sense of love.
We are told time and time again that to be complete we have to find out “one”. This is in itself wrong and damages oneself. We even develop a sense of what should be. Look at any magazine or “help” books: top ten ways you’ll know it’s a healthy relationship, is he Mr. Right, will she satisfy you, and etc the list goes on. Songs talk about how love is now a game, sex the drive, and not feeling alone is the motivation. Is it right?
Now I know, who am I to talk, I’m single, but bare with me. I’m not going to show you how love should be or even how to keep a relationship happy so to speak. Those aspects have to be experienced and even the supposed greatest “teachers” of love are only teaching you mind games or ways to manipulate people. The truth is love is unconditional and comes with sacrifices, devotions, time, trust, respect and empathy. But even before any good relationship is established you must first learn to love…yourself.
Yes, love yourself. It is easier said than done to say all this. It took a break up from my first true love to understand this. The honest truth is, you will never be completed by someone else. You must discover who you are and what you are capable of. When you are at peace with yourself then you not only grow as a person but someone else will help you grow. Many times there is one person who clings to an idea of love or even to a person and it disrupts the whole relationship. You can’t lose yourself in someone, nor will the world end if that person was to leave you, though it will hurt.
What I am trying to convey is this, learn to see that person in the mirror and truly love them. People ask me why am I suddenly doing these huge life changes, was it because of the break up? No, I just learned and discovered who I truly am, in doing so, nothing is holding me back. I am genuinely happy, I have placed my life in God’s hand and sure I can feel a type of way, be “in love”, but that will not change who I am unless it is to improve. When you acknowledge this, see your value as an individual you will truly see who truly is there and cares for you. Those who truly love you, love you for you, no one should change for someone unless it is to better themselves and not for the person. So I’ll leave you all with this, learn to love who you are, I may speak about it a lot, but it’s a way to motivate a revolution in one’s heart. You are change and once you notice this, the world around you changes with you. Be blessed.