Rich Blessings

​6 But godliness with contentment is great gain,7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:6-10)

Oh snap, here we go. I can hear people rustling in their chairs or just sighing. It always is the case when I touch on “hard” topics within the faith. People tend to become uncomfortable, yet I’m always directed to teach and write truth, so hear I am. As some of you can tell, this article leans more to Christians, yet I incite for others to read as well. Now what is this all about? Title states rich blessings but I start off with Paul talking about money is the root of evil? Hold your houses or should I say phones? Cars? I’m getting of topic, hear me out though.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, we are taught since birth that hard work produces good fruits and we can attain “success”. As we grow older we learn that “money” moves the world, it has turned to a “necessity” in most of the world. We need to pay bills, buy our needs (food, water, clothing, etc). Yet for the most part we have begun to twist the value of a dollar. Let’s look at money as a whole, for the most part it has no real “worth, it’s paper yet behind it it is a means of trade to process a transaction to attain or exchange. In today’s age, the media bombards us with the belief if we get the “paper” we will be happy. Yet what did Paul warn us, the love of money is the root of all evil.

Now I’m not saying don’t stop working or rip your wallet apart. It’s a realization to look at the bigger picture. Everything apart from God is vain, everything without truth and love is vain. Solomon spoke of this in the book of ecclesiastes. Yet through it all we are given a purpose and gifts which produces a mean to offer a service which in turn brings about a form of payment, be it time, money, and etc. We are truly blessed, beyond comprehension. Here in the states I can say I have what I need and rejoice in this. There was a time when I was homeless and understood having nothing or wishing at least just for crumbs off a table, warmth of a bed, I’ve never forgotten those days. In so bringing this lesson, I want you to look at what you have, it can be little or even enough, you’re blessed, you’re “rich”.

People think being rich is having a lot of things but on the contrary, being rich is a state in knowing that who you are and what you have can be freely shared with others while being happy. Just as I spoke about in my last article, happiness is a state of being not a pursuit. You can bust your butt and work 9-9 yet what will you gain in the end? You can die and all you wanted to attain will simply stay on this earth and given to someone else. We waste our time doing things which has no value or spending it on desire, greed. Now I’m not saying everything is bad. Trust me, I spent money on this phone, on a computer, i didn’t really need it but I got it, yet I also use it in ways to help improve my life. We can buy stuff and use it and sure it can help us as well but also don’t let consumerism or materialism consume you. This in turn creates idols and we lose focus of what is true value in life, which should always be people, you, and ultimately the first of all, God. God even tells us yo work hard and paul warns us of being idlers, it is good to work and gain what you need. The Lord does not forsake you and provides but be wary in thinking as well we shoukd prosper or be rich because we’re Christians. On the contrary, we are not of the world, we will go through various situations and struggles but let it not keep you from knowing you are rich. Rich in mercy, grace, faith and love. 

I’m not trying to keep people from pursuing their dreams or to become doctors and etc. I am trying to show you what God has taught me and shows in scripture. He is enough. We might worry day by day yet like I’ve said multiple times and what it speaks in scripture, if he watches and provides for the birds what more his children? Work hard and give to caeser what is of caesar but give to God all above all else. Do not be discouraged at the latest “things”, brands and etc, be content with what you have and know you are bkessed because others have less. But as well learn to give as well and help in times of need for it is truly better to give than to receive. Be blessed. 

Feeling the Gravity

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We feel it everyday, the gravity. Now I’m not necessarily talking about the gravity we experience of the world but the gravity or weight of “life”, the world, on our minds and shoulders. We all experience it. Take it from someone who faces it daily with depression and anxiety. It isn’t easy and let’s be honest their isn’t a quick fix to it all. Yet through it all I’ve learned to live on and find the strength, support, to be at ease.

We wake up and dread the next following hours. We long for the weekends or better yet we long for the days that once was. I once read a quote that stated, “Depression is when you constantly look back and may stumble at what is ahead, while anxiety has you miss what is in front of you so in turn you exist but never live because you long for what is still to come.”. The truth of the matter is that these two things affect us, not only pressing down on our thoughts but dramatically shifting everything around us.

I’ll be honest to you all, I do suffer from depression and anxiety.  I tend to be alittle too ocd at times in the sense of wanting control. Though I am Christian it does not mean I am perfect nor am I claiming that because I am, that it has disappeared. There have been authors and even pastors I’ve heard about who struggle with it.  Because of these, I have become who I am and in turn have shaped my character. People say I’m random (cause of depression when I shift to defensive mode), I can joke or even appear happy yet there is a war in my mind. I can seem “accelerated” (anxiety), I have so many plans and in knowing time is short I tend to rush things and it only backfires on me. But over the years and truly with God, things have been easier. 

So here I am, telling you it’ll get better. Though you may feel the gravity, keep in mind the present. To be at peace is to be present in the now. Things happen in life, I’ve spoken about this before, there are things we truly will never have control over, nor can you change the past. The true eye opener you could say is this, happiness is not something you pursue but is a state of being. A state of being. Sounds philosophical but repeat it, a state of being. Meaning in this case, to just be, be present, be in the now. It isn’t bad to prepare for the future nore reminisce about the past but don’t stay there. Keep moving forward, truly living by experiencing every second as if it was your last. You aren’t guaranteed the future. 

Now I can also speak about through christian teachings and scripture itself. God has been the reason I no longer have attacks or get into my moods for the most part. That for the most part is in the recognition that God is enough. I don’t need to be famous, be smart, handsome, or truly find the “one”, God is enough. My sufficiency is found in Christ. I’m not saying either that I can drop out of my job or stop eating, no no, I’m saying that he is truly what I need and my focus to truly live this life. In knowing this, just like the psalms or paul mentions, he is our shelter and to not be anxious of anything. When you trust and give it all to God he takes all your weight and puts it to death. Did he not die for our sins and if he cares for the birds and provides for them their needs what more shall he provide for you, a child of the most high? But as well he provides counsel through people, teachers, pastors, counselors, even parents/friends. You are not alone, never alone. Though you may think the weight is too heavy, there are those to help carry the load or even God. Jesus faced every feeling and temptation, he was human, he understands what you are going through.

Take a moment and breathe, feel the air, ignore the phone, hear the sound of your heart beating, you’re alive. All of this and even what you went through or are going through is a blessing. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4). With this hope we work on being better or as. Christians, hope in Christ and reflecting his image. 

The truth is evident, we will all go through hardships but let that not bring you down. If it does, get up and push on. Life is meant to be lived, though we all experience things differently, see that you are one of many. The gravity is here to help keep us firm on the ground til we ascend to the heavens, in our dreams, pursuits, love and even to God. I speak to all not just Christians though I hope that my words would incite a revelation of who God is. Keep getting up. Be happy, just be, be present, see now, and live. Regret nothing but in turn learn from mistakes and repent of your old ways. Be blessed.

Who Am I?

Who am I?

The very question we ask ourselves when we look at the reflection on the mirror. Follow up questions can arise and again we are bombarded with more questions. Life constantly molding us by experiences and situations. But the question touches me to the depth of the soul as I write now. A reflection to help clarify who exactly is this guy, this guy who is writing this.

I’ve talked about myself throughout my articles, a glimpse of who I am as an individual but I believe I never really properly introduced myself. *clears throat* well let’s rephrase that *cracks fingers to type*. The name is Geovanni, call me Geo, but more or less I prefer Gee. Some people call me differently but I prefer the name which my close friends or family call me, Gee. Now, I am 25 years and as some of you know I went to school for graphic design but in turn life threw a curve ball and my passion for writing flourished. Now I am a writer, I would say aspiring writer but I write so it would just imply that I don’t or wish to attain something that isn’t within me. Though I’ve said it before, I may not have gone to some school for it but nonetheless, I am a writer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, I post short stories on Tumblr a lot, as well as poetry and quotes. 

You could say I am a rare breed of sorts. Some people consider me an old soul. Not just for the taste of music, which entails the classics, like classic rock, jazz, mostly conscious rap and hip hop with a strong feel of Christian music. I am a Christian, but I am one that doesn’t consider it a religion but more so a relationship. I also am a free spirit in the sense that I enjoy doing things that I enjoy. I am an ambivert but with more introvert qualities than anything. It’s actually like a paradox meeting me, I can seem quiet and in seconds I would be hollering or making sounds. Now to be honest, there are times when depression or anxiety may strike but God’s been helping me cope. 

In my writing, you will see a lot of my beliefs become incorporated but as well take note that my writing, apart from my stories, has to do with helping people. I tend to differentiate or clarify to who I am writing to. If I am writing to encourage or teach my fellow brothers ad sisters in the faith I will do so, if it is for everyone I will merely write to that appeal and direction. Now in no way, am I here to seek fame, on the contrary, I’ve found that through writing I can help bring the message of truth and love to people and share it. I’m in no way rich nor do I intend to be so cause I already feel rich, blessed with a loving family and the few friends I have. Though in short this is who I am, some can read and wonder why should I listen to this guy, you don’t have to, but with what I’ve experienced though I’m young, I’ve experienced a lot and hope to bring encouragement and guide people to the truth, with love. I also intend to share who I am, things I go through so that through my example I can reveal the light foubd in the darkness which in turn I see as God. Be blessed and truly I hope you guys and girls enjoy what I have to write. πŸ™‚

Controlling Your Surrender

We all seek power.

Let’s be honest, we’ve all been there and done that. But what is that? From the dawn of age, man has always wanted to be in control. There is something about gaining a position of power and watching over people. From my own personal experience, though I never wanted spotlight or in a position where I am at the “top”, it seems I always get there. But then again what is “power” or being in “control”?

Let us look at our lives, we try to control the situations around us. Because of our fear of the unknown, want to gain a sense of control, so we build walls or push people away. Apart from anything else we try to control our lives as well in the sense of the future. We spend ours in schools or at work to try to gain a sense of control. Yet we feel the gravity of the world and in turn, turn to things which has us feel no control, become entertained or a substance. Then the question arises, are we truly in control? Or are we slaves to that which now masters us?

Let us be honest with ourselves. Freedom in itself is a concept to have us escape the limits placed before us or in turn leaving one master for another. In reality, we are all controlled by something. Though we can shift this notion and try to even “control” what I say, you can ignore the words or even just listen. We try to be “open minded” yet to have an open mind means we must close it on something solid, deeply rooted in truth and foundations, if not we fall to anything. 

One thing I’ve learned throughout my years is what I’m saying now. We don’t know the future, we don’t know what will happen, the future is ours to forge but only in the now. By being present we release the “control” we think we have which in turn just causes us anxiety or even the past which causes depression. Even as well such thibgs as being controlled by the illusions of the world, like “love” portrayed by the media or even becoming a narcissistic.

We are all slaves to something. It is no lie, it is as clear as day what my beliefs are. I’ll admit it, I am a Christian, with that said I’ve seen things in a different light(no pun intended). I have seen how it is to be a slave to pride, slave to desires, slave to sin, but as well I’ve learned a sense of freedom as a slave of Christ. I never claim to be perfect, I have my own wrongdoings and also a past that may haunt me or uncertainty of my future. Yet I am growing as an individual who is not hindered or wants to succumb to anything other than God as my support. Some can start complaining and thinking I’m here trying to persuade people to turn to christianity, become enslaved by religion, that is not my case. I speak in truth and as well I speak out of a heart and mind changed and renewed by God. To help people understand that trying to feel a sense of surrender isn’t necessarily bad and trying to always be in control isn’t always good. 

Learn to see what controls you, as scripture might state it or other people in the past, what is your God, your idol, what do you bow or surrender to? You will never truly be in control, people come and go, people die, and even the dreams you may have may never happen. But if you truly believe in something than chsse it with all you have, it isn’t a paradox, you do have choices in life but don’t try to dictate others or become enslave to notions which will only destroy who you can be. It is good to have some sense of control, to an extent, self control, change for the better, etc. But listen, We are not made to be copies, the world doesn’t define us, we are not stereotypes. Surrender in pursuit of truth and love for only then we shall see the light and become it’s slave but free from the darkness that only leads to death or a false sense of what it means to be human.

Voicing A Brand

​Just do it. The first thing that comes to mind is Nike, ok, some can say no, maybe. How about, I’m loving it, anything? Ah, the fascination or the implications of setting up a slogan, catchphrase, or even a logo. Now I was going to have two different articles but then, wham, inspiration struck and here I am. By the title of this article some might think I’m going to start talking about marketing. Now some of you might be slightly true, if you know how I write, then no as well. More so, it is about truly marketing yourself. Woah, am I not the guy who wrote before not to be narcissistic. Yes, yes, calm down and understand.

From the beginning of what I can remember I was surrounded by propaganda. I guess it was one of the reasons why I took digital design classes and graphics at a technical college. I found a sense of manipulation, control, that I could enforce while people had no idea to a certain extent. The colors used, the design in general, to even the words. This is where everything became interesting, from that I saw something shift in my generation I didn’t see before. Change. Growing up we are shown the fashion trends, the culture as a whole. From it people wear the brands, become part of the brand and on my opinion, become branded. Like a horse? You can say that in a way. I saw people become “slaves” to what they invested their time and money. With that being said I also saw the rise of what I’m slowly seeing today, a revolution of people finding themselves. 

Look at the latest trend, you have people buying or investing in certain things, sure. Then you shift over to the out of norm people, those who don’t cling to social media(me being one of them), invested on their phones 24/7, unbranded as to the point that they will buy something cause it looks good not just cause it has a specific logo or is from a certain place. This is what I’m writing about now, branding yourself, being yourself, having a voice.

As a writer I always read that you had to have your own voice, heck, even in school or art class you learn to develop your own style. That’s honestly something I fear losing if I was to actually go to school for creative writing or majoring in english, you get taught all these techniques, “ways” to do things, I feel you might lose your originality. But as well that’s what I’ve learned about life as well. We are so caught up at times about what is new and follow the trend we forget and slowly lose ourselves. Trust me I worked in a retail store(clothing) for 6 years as a manager and I’ve seen how kids, teens, even adults get. We look at how the items were made and honestly we see people making our items, working through horrible conditions or getting payed close to nothing. Yet here we are, allowing ours elves to be branded, investing our money because something might have a specific little design by some goliath of a company. Don’t get me wrong, I admire some of the things people do, like I’ve written before I understand the struggle to become a designer, I still have pages of my designs for clothes I made. 

What I’m conveying is to truly look at what you are branding? Are you wearing something because you honestly think it’s cool or is it because everyone else is wearing it? Are you listening or liking the things you do because of you? I feel like we should relook at it all. Sure we will never truly be unique, let’s be honest. We either adapt what we learn or turn something into our own style once we understand something, we make it ours and our lives truly become our brand. It’s funny, most people when they first see me say I look mean or scary, a week later, they can repeat my puns, jokes, or even somethings I usually say or might know what I’ll do, in itself I began to be a “brand”. In my writing, though I may not be on par with the greatestof writers, I still cling to being “different” having a voice. With the title of this article, I wanted not only to grab attention but also incite something in us all. We are used to buying brands but why not live it, live your life, change up your style, find the things YOU like and be somebody not just an everybody. In no way shape or form am I saying to ignore the work others may do, there are designs and etc which should be appreciated and I back them up, support them when I could so they could continue. It is more so to give a sense of who we are individually and what we can contribute so that people can say we are each part of a unified body, humanity, changing the world. Each of us has different dreams so why not wake up and realize that only you can accomplish it. Voice your brand, don’t just think about it or write it, become it, be you.

Writing Your Story

The light from the screen reflects upon my eyes. It’s a good solid 5 minutes before I notice I’m just staring at the screen. I even begin to realize that I no longer spend countless hours playing a game or browsing through social media. I notice that it’s really not even in front of my computer screen, it’s my phone or tablet-okay, we can all agree they are mini computers.  Here I am, now finally typing words or should I better state it as tapping words? I’ve noticed as of late everything has changed in my life, some can see it in my writing but better yet, they see it in my life. It wasn’t til recently that I saw this, like I said before, but it has sparked something inside of me. 

Now I’ve said it many times, who am I for someone to read my work? I’m 25, haven’t fully attended college, have never taken classes in writing, was never in the school paper, haven’t published a book, and no, none of my family members are writers. I’m just a normal guy, scratch that, I’m completely random but also dedicated, when I set my mind on something it becomes my drive. All of this being the case, I’m now seeing who I truly am, a writer. I’ve written before how we should just write or even how everything I thought I would be doing I never did. Let’s be honest, nothing we plan ever goes the way we want. Things happen in life and everything shifts drastically, while it is true some people still accomplish their “dreams”. It’s all good said and done, but something I’ve questioned is what does one gain through all the sacrifice? We typically lose ourselves in that pursuit. Now don’t get me wrong, some people could start to get ready to throw their shoes but bare with me. What I’m trying to convey is this, we push everything and reach that “top” peak, that the sky isn’t the limit, then we begin to see gravity weigh us down.

I’ve lived my early childhood wishing to be something I am not today. Life hit me very young and though I am goofy, random, and awkward today, I also had to grow up. I was homeless at a time, I managed to finish high school, while my family members didn’t, I was fortunate. Though I didn’t go to some fancy college, I helped my family get their careers, finish school, they became chefs, and even then only my sister continues in that pursuit. Nothing truly works out in our favor it would seem. Life likes throwing curve balls, for example, a track star could one day get into an accident and lose his legs, a painter could become blind, and etc. So then I awoke to a new notion, what is life to chase after such pursuits and for us to forget to live?

All right I’ll ready the target sign so you could throw whatever you want. But read carefully and understand what I’m saying. Life is short, I’m not telling anyone to stop chasing their dreams, nor am I saying it is all meaningless, what I’m saying is don’t just do something or be something simply for you. In the end sure some can say you only have yourself but then with who are you going to share your victories? 

I’m very prideful, let me toss that on the table, it can seem I’m humble at times but seriously, it takes a lot for me to be humble, nice or even considerate, though I may have a huge heart. The world made me cold you could say, I didn’t necessarily choose my life and yet I am choosing what I do now with it. For me, I see what I’m capable of, before I wanted to build an empire and yet for what? To gain money, be rich, and never truly want? Then what? There is more to life than that, everyone who has made it can tell you the same thing, a rich man is not one who has everything but has little and can share it with those who are around and in that he is rich.  

I’m trying to say this, I know who I am now, I see I’ve been given the curiousity, the ability to convey words to reach people, the imagination to create words and allow my experiences or creativity to manifest through words. Sure, I could draw as well but I’ve found that I am truly me when I write, and in being so, it is to reach people. Books were always my escape or a way to understand the world and I want to do the same to someone else. In so being this reason, this is more so written to try to get one to think of the choices or your pursuits. Is it really just for you or to help others, share your gifts, in love and not just a vain pursuit? Remember you only live once so will you live to exist or begin to live to truly have a life? But also don’t be upset if you don’t “make it”, life is meant to be lived and your greatest blessing might not be your career or even materialistic gain, but family and friends. Take it from someone who loves to write and doesn’t mind if he isn’t getting paid at the moment for it. As long as I can share what I learn and help others grow, that’s the biggest reward, to know my words aren’t just being ignored and may hopefully touch one’s soul.

Eternal Addiction

I was tired of trying to escape reality. I look back at my life now and it seems like a blur at times. How many days did I try to erase with the help of a substance? A person? From the days I was in middle school to the realization of what I understood in life. To be able to experience life to the fullest without diminishing who I am as a person.

It is true to some extent, many of the classics, hits, and etc were created under an influence. They say true art is born through the blood, sweat, and tears that exert our raw nature. Yet as well, I’ve found it all to be a simple band aid. Growing up when I was first introduced to drugs, I thought it was foolish. But as I felt the gravity push me down, I felt the need to be lifted up. In turn I allowed myself to be taken by a substance. Reaching the point where I needed to feel nothing to feel everything. From bottles in hand, bottling my emotions to trees allowing me leave and fall through the skies by the breeze exhaled. I became consumed. 

Time would shift. I as well saw in myself the beauty in life. One would think that being changed by events would thwart any sense of ego yet it remained. Ithought of myself “in control”, though it was obvious I was not. One addiction switched to another and I thought freedom was found in blissful ecstasy when one was beside someone else. It became a game and sex was the drive instilled to keep me alive, or so I thought. And then it occured, love in its purest form. Within such notions or my knowledge, all said was true and lost within this person I was not. But then again, the broken pieces of who I am could not hold the substance and the beautiful mess I was seemed to cut the other til the string was cut. All was lost or so I thought. Looking at the clouds before I took on my usual self. Allowing my mind to be silent, my emotions as cold as winter and the storm drowning me in the seas of guilt and imperfections. Yet there he was, drenched in blood, a symbol of his death on the cross. But this was a dream, so I thought, for who should love me enough to die for my faults. Chains breaking and my hands feeling no constraints. My mind finding a peace I longed for. A feeling to feel whole abounding my the springs running through me, overflowing and making me be complete. This is love. He is enough. 

A sense to no longer “escape”, hinder or hide who I am in any way shape or form. But to grow, learn and experience reality in its entirety. To feel with a passion that comes from his own. God. Love. Truth. My eternal addiction.