Rich Blessings

6 But godliness with contentment is great gain,7 for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. 8 But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. 9 But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. 10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs. (1 Timothy 6:6-10)

Oh snap, here we go. I can hear people rustling in their chairs or just sighing. It always is the case when I touch on “hard” topics within the faith. People tend to become uncomfortable, yet I’m always directed to teach and write truth, so hear I am. As some of you can tell, this article leans more to Christians, yet I incite for others to read as well. Now what is this all about? Title states rich blessings but I start off with Paul talking about money is the root of evil? Hold your houses or should I say phones? Cars? I’m getting of topic, hear me out though.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, we are taught since birth that hard work produces good fruits and we can attain “success”. As we grow older we learn that “money” moves the world, it has turned to a “necessity” in most of the world. We need to pay bills, buy our needs (food, water, clothing, etc). Yet for the most part we have begun to twist the value of a dollar. Let’s look at money as a whole, for the most part it has no real “worth, it’s paper yet behind it it is a means of trade to process a transaction to attain or exchange. In today’s age, the media bombards us with the belief if we get the “paper” we will be happy. Yet what did Paul warn us, the love of money is the root of all evil.

Now I’m not saying don’t stop working or rip your wallet apart. It’s a realization to look at the bigger picture. Everything apart from God is vain, everything without truth and love is vain. Solomon spoke of this in the book of ecclesiastes. Yet through it all we are given a purpose and gifts which produces a mean to offer a service which in turn brings about a form of payment, be it time, money, and etc. We are truly blessed, beyond comprehension. Here in the states I can say I have what I need and rejoice in this. There was a time when I was homeless and understood having nothing or wishing at least just for crumbs off a table, warmth of a bed, I’ve never forgotten those days. In so bringing this lesson, I want you to look at what you have, it can be little or even enough, you’re blessed, you’re “rich”.

People think being rich is having a lot of things but on the contrary, being rich is a state in knowing that who you are and what you have can be freely shared with others while being happy. Just as I spoke about in my last article, happiness is a state of being not a pursuit. You can bust your butt and work 9-9 yet what will you gain in the end? You can die and all you wanted to attain will simply stay on this earth and given to someone else. We waste our time doing things which has no value or spending it on desire, greed. Now I’m not saying everything is bad. Trust me, I spent money on this phone, on a computer, i didn’t really need it but I got it, yet I also use it in ways to help improve my life. We can buy stuff and use it and sure it can help us as well but also don’t let consumerism or materialism consume you. This in turn creates idols and we lose focus of what is true value in life, which should always be people, you, and ultimately the first of all, God. God even tells us yo work hard and paul warns us of being idlers, it is good to work and gain what you need. The Lord does not forsake you and provides but be wary in thinking as well we shoukd prosper or be rich because we’re Christians. On the contrary, we are not of the world, we will go through various situations and struggles but let it not keep you from knowing you are rich. Rich in mercy, grace, faith and love.

I’m not trying to keep people from pursuing their dreams or to become doctors and etc. I am trying to show you what God has taught me and shows in scripture. He is enough. We might worry day by day yet like I’ve said multiple times and what it speaks in scripture, if he watches and provides for the birds what more his children? Work hard and give to caeser what is of caesar but give to God all above all else. Do not be discouraged at the latest “things”, brands and etc, be content with what you have and know you are bkessed because others have less. But as well learn to give as well and help in times of need for it is truly better to give than to receive. Be blessed.

Feeling the Gravity

We feel it everyday, the gravity. Now I’m not necessarily talking about the gravity we experience of the world but the gravity or weight of “life”, the world, on our minds and shoulders. We all experience it. Take it from someone who faces it daily with depression and anxiety. It isn’t easy and let’s be honest their isn’t a quick fix to it all. Yet through it all I’ve learned to live on and find the strength, support, to be at ease.

We wake up and dread the next following hours. We long for the weekends or better yet we long for the days that once was. I once read a quote that stated, “Depression is when you constantly look back and may stumble at what is ahead, while anxiety has you miss what is in front of you so in turn you exist but never live because you long for what is still to come.”. The truth of the matter is that these two things affect us, not only pressing down on our thoughts but dramatically shifting everything around us.

I’ll be honest to you all, I do suffer from depression and anxiety. I tend to be alittle too ocd at times in the sense of wanting control. Though I am Christian it does not mean I am perfect nor am I claiming that because I am, that it has disappeared. There have been authors and even pastors I’ve heard about who struggle with it. Because of these, I have become who I am and in turn have shaped my character. People say I’m random (cause of depression when I shift to defensive mode), I can joke or even appear happy yet there is a war in my mind. I can seem “accelerated” (anxiety), I have so many plans and in knowing time is short I tend to rush things and it only backfires on me. But over the years and truly with God, things have been easier.

So here I am, telling you it’ll get better. Though you may feel the gravity, keep in mind the present. To be at peace is to be present in the now. Things happen in life, I’ve spoken about this before, there are things we truly will never have control over, nor can you change the past. The true eye opener you could say is this, happiness is not something you pursue but is a state of being. A state of being. Sounds philosophical but repeat it, a state of being. Meaning in this case, to just be, be present, be in the now. It isn’t bad to prepare for the future nor reminisce about the past but don’t stay there. Keep moving forward, truly living by experiencing every second as if it was your last. You aren’t guaranteed the future.

Now I can also speak about through christian teachings and scripture itself. God has been the reason I no longer have attacks or get into my moods for the most part. That for the most part is in the recognition that God is enough. I don’t need to be famous, be smart, handsome, or truly find the “one”, God is enough. My sufficiency is found in Christ. I’m not saying either that I can drop out of my job or stop eating, no no, I’m saying that he is truly what I need and my focus to truly live this life. In knowing this, just like the psalms or paul mentions, he is our shelter and to not be anxious of anything. When you trust and give it all to God he takes all your weight and puts it to death. Did he not die for our sins and if he cares for the birds and provides for them their needs what more shall he provide for you, a child of the most high? But as well he provides counsel through people, teachers, pastors, counselors, even parents/friends. You are not alone, never alone. Though you may think the weight is too heavy, there are those to help carry the load or even God. Jesus faced every feeling and temptation, he was human, he understands what you are going through.

Take a moment and breathe, feel the air, ignore the phone, hear the sound of your heart beating, you’re alive. All of this and even what you went through or are going through is a blessing. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” (Romans 5:3-4). With this hope we work on being better or as. Christians, hope in Christ and reflecting his image.

The truth is evident, we will all go through hardships but let that not bring you down. If it does, get up and push on. Life is meant to be lived, though we all experience things differently, see that you are one of many. The gravity is here to help keep us firm on the ground til we ascend to the heavens, in our dreams, pursuits, love and even to God. I speak to all not just Christians though I hope that my words would incite a revelation of who God is. Keep getting up. Be happy, just be, be present, see now, and live. Regret nothing but in turn learn from mistakes and repent of your old ways. Be blessed.

Who Am I?

Who am I?

The very question we ask ourselves when we look at the reflection on the mirror. Follow up questions can arise and again we are bombarded with more questions. Life constantly molding us by experiences and situations. But the question touches me to the depth of the soul as I write now. A reflection to help clarify who exactly is this guy, this guy who is writing this.

I’ve talked about myself throughout my articles, a glimpse of who I am as an individual but I believe I never really properly introduced myself. *clears throat* well let’s rephrase that *cracks fingers to type*. The name is Geovanni, call me Geo, but more or less I prefer Gee. Some people call me differently but I prefer the name which my close friends or family call me, Gee. Now, I am 25 years and as some of you know I went to school for graphic design but in turn life threw a curve ball and my passion for writing flourished. Now I am a writer, I would say aspiring writer but I write so it would just imply that I don’t or wish to attain something that isn’t within me. Though I’ve said it before, I may not have gone to some school for it but nonetheless, I am a writer. I am currently in the process of writing a book, I post short stories on Tumblr a lot, as well as poetry and quotes.

You could say I am a rare breed of sorts. Some people consider me an old soul. Not just for the taste of music, which entails the classics, like classic rock, jazz, mostly conscious rap and hip hop with a strong feel of Christian music. I am a Christian, but I am one that doesn’t consider it a religion but more so a relationship. I also am a free spirit in the sense that I enjoy doing things that I enjoy. I am an ambivert but with more introvert qualities than anything. It’s actually like a paradox meeting me, I can seem quiet and in seconds I would be hollering or making sounds. Now to be honest, there are times when depression or anxiety may strike but God’s been helping me cope.

In my writing, you will see a lot of my beliefs become incorporated but as well take note that my writing, apart from my stories, has to do with helping people. I tend to differentiate or clarify to who I am writing to. If I am writing to encourage or teach my fellow brothers ad sisters in the faith I will do so, if it is for everyone I will merely write to that appeal and direction. Now in no way, am I here to seek fame, on the contrary, I’ve found that through writing I can help bring the message of truth and love to people and share it. I’m in no way rich nor do I intend to be so cause I already feel rich, blessed with a loving family and the few friends I have. Though in short this is who I am, some can read and wonder why should I listen to this guy, you don’t have to, but with what I’ve experienced though I’m young, I’ve experienced a lot and hope to bring encouragement and guide people to the truth, with love. I also intend to share who I am, things I go through so that through my example I can reveal the light foubd in the darkness which in turn I see as God. Be blessed and truly I hope you guys and girls enjoy what I have to write. 🙂

Voicing A Brand

​Just do it. The first thing that comes to mind is Nike, ok, some can say no, maybe. How about, I’m loving it, anything? Ah, the fascination or the implications of setting up a slogan, catchphrase, or even a logo. Now I was going to have two different articles but then, wham, inspiration struck and here I am. By the title of this article some might think I’m going to start talking about marketing. Now some of you might be slightly true, if you know how I write, then no as well. More so, it is about truly marketing yourself. Woah, am I not the guy who wrote before not to be narcissistic. Yes, yes, calm down and understand.

From the beginning of what I can remember I was surrounded by propaganda. I guess it was one of the reasons why I took digital design classes and graphics at a technical college. I found a sense of manipulation, control, that I could enforce while people had no idea to a certain extent. The colors used, the design in general, to even the words. This is where everything became interesting, from that I saw something shift in my generation I didn’t see before. Change. Growing up we are shown the fashion trends, the culture as a whole. From it people wear the brands, become part of the brand and on my opinion, become branded. Like a horse? You can say that in a way. I saw people become “slaves” to what they invested their time and money. With that being said I also saw the rise of what I’m slowly seeing today, a revolution of people finding themselves. 

Look at the latest trend, you have people buying or investing in certain things, sure. Then you shift over to the out of norm people, those who don’t cling to social media(me being one of them), invested on their phones 24/7, unbranded as to the point that they will buy something cause it looks good not just cause it has a specific logo or is from a certain place. This is what I’m writing about now, branding yourself, being yourself, having a voice.

As a writer I always read that you had to have your own voice, heck, even in school or art class you learn to develop your own style. That’s honestly something I fear losing if I was to actually go to school for creative writing or majoring in english, you get taught all these techniques, “ways” to do things, I feel you might lose your originality. But as well that’s what I’ve learned about life as well. We are so caught up at times about what is new and follow the trend we forget and slowly lose ourselves. Trust me I worked in a retail store(clothing) for 6 years as a manager and I’ve seen how kids, teens, even adults get. We look at how the items were made and honestly we see people making our items, working through horrible conditions or getting payed close to nothing. Yet here we are, allowing ours elves to be branded, investing our money because something might have a specific little design by some goliath of a company. Don’t get me wrong, I admire some of the things people do, like I’ve written before I understand the struggle to become a designer, I still have pages of my designs for clothes I made. 

What I’m conveying is to truly look at what you are branding? Are you wearing something because you honestly think it’s cool or is it because everyone else is wearing it? Are you listening or liking the things you do because of you? I feel like we should relook at it all. Sure we will never truly be unique, let’s be honest. We either adapt what we learn or turn something into our own style once we understand something, we make it ours and our lives truly become our brand. It’s funny, most people when they first see me say I look mean or scary, a week later, they can repeat my puns, jokes, or even somethings I usually say or might know what I’ll do, in itself I began to be a “brand”. In my writing, though I may not be on par with the greatestof writers, I still cling to being “different” having a voice. With the title of this article, I wanted not only to grab attention but also incite something in us all. We are used to buying brands but why not live it, live your life, change up your style, find the things YOU like and be somebody not just an everybody. In no way shape or form am I saying to ignore the work others may do, there are designs and etc which should be appreciated and I back them up, support them when I could so they could continue. It is more so to give a sense of who we are individually and what we can contribute so that people can say we are each part of a unified body, humanity, changing the world. Each of us has different dreams so why not wake up and realize that only you can accomplish it. Voice your brand, don’t just think about it or write it, become it, be you.

Writing Your Story

The light from the screen reflects upon my eyes. It’s a good solid 5 minutes before I notice I’m just staring at the screen. I even begin to realize that I no longer spend countless hours playing a game or browsing through social media. I notice that it’s really not even in front of my computer screen, it’s my phone or tablet-okay, we can all agree they are mini computers. Here I am, now finally typing words or should I better state it as tapping words? I’ve noticed as of late everything has changed in my life, some can see it in my writing but better yet, they see it in my life. It wasn’t til recently that I saw this, like I said before, but it has sparked something inside of me.

Now I’ve said it many times, who am I for someone to read my work? I’m 25, haven’t fully attended college, have never taken classes in writing, was never in the school paper, haven’t published a book, and no, none of my family members are writers. I’m just a normal guy, scratch that, I’m completely random but also dedicated, when I set my mind on something it becomes my drive. All of this being the case, I’m now seeing who I truly am, a writer. I’ve written before how we should just write or even how everything I thought I would be doing I never did. Let’s be honest, nothing we plan ever goes the way we want. Things happen in life and everything shifts drastically, while it is true some people still accomplish their “dreams”. It’s all good said and done, but something I’ve questioned is what does one gain through all the sacrifice? We typically lose ourselves in that pursuit. Now don’t get me wrong, some people could start to get ready to throw their shoes but bare with me. What I’m trying to convey is this, we push everything and reach that “top” peak, that the sky isn’t the limit, then we begin to see gravity weigh us down.

I’ve lived my early childhood wishing to be something I am not today. Life hit me very young and though I am goofy, random, and awkward today, I also had to grow up. I was homeless at a time, I managed to finish high school, while my family members didn’t, I was fortunate. Though I didn’t go to some fancy college, I helped my family get their careers, finish school, they became chefs, and even then only my sister continues in that pursuit. Nothing truly works out in our favor it would seem. Life likes throwing curve balls, for example, a track star could one day get into an accident and lose his legs, a painter could become blind, and etc. So then I awoke to a new notion, what is life to chase after such pursuits and for us to forget to live?

All right I’ll ready the target sign so you could throw whatever you want. But read carefully and understand what I’m saying. Life is short, I’m not telling anyone to stop chasing their dreams, nor am I saying it is all meaningless, what I’m saying is don’t just do something or be something simply for you. In the end sure some can say you only have yourself but then with who are you going to share your victories?

I’m very prideful, let me toss that on the table, it can seem I’m humble at times but seriously, it takes a lot for me to be humble, nice or even considerate, though I may have a huge heart. The world made me cold you could say, I didn’t necessarily choose my life and yet I am choosing what I do now with it. For me, I see what I’m capable of, before I wanted to build an empire and yet for what? To gain money, be rich, and never truly want? Then what? There is more to life than that, everyone who has made it can tell you the same thing, a rich man is not one who has everything but has little and can share it with those who are around and in that he is rich.

I’m trying to say this, I know who I am now, I see I’ve been given the curiousity, the ability to convey words to reach people, the imagination to create words and allow my experiences or creativity to manifest through words. Sure, I could draw as well but I’ve found that I am truly me when I write, and in being so, it is to reach people. Books were always my escape or a way to understand the world and I want to do the same to someone else. In so being this reason, this is more so written to try to get one to think of the choices or your pursuits. Is it really just for you or to help others, share your gifts, in love and not just a vain pursuit? Remember you only live once so will you live to exist or begin to live to truly have a life? But also don’t be upset if you don’t “make it”, life is meant to be lived and your greatest blessing might not be your career or even materialistic gain, but family and friends. Take it from someone who loves to write and doesn’t mind if he isn’t getting paid at the moment for it. As long as I can share what I learn and help others grow, that’s the biggest reward, to know my words aren’t just being ignored and may hopefully touch one’s soul.

Eternal Addiction


I was tired of trying to escape reality. I look back at my life now and it seems like a blur at times. How many days did I try to erase with the help of a substance? A person? From the days I was in middle school to the realization of what I understood in life. To be able to experience life to the fullest without diminishing who I am as a person.

It is true to some extent, many of the classics, hits, and etc were created under an influence. They say true art is born through the blood, sweat, and tears that exert our raw nature. Yet as well, I’ve found it all to be a simple band aid. Growing up when I was first introduced to drugs, I thought it was foolish. But as I felt the gravity push me down, I felt the need to be lifted up. In turn I allowed myself to be taken by a substance. Reaching the point where I needed to feel nothing to feel everything. From bottles in hand, bottling my emotions to trees allowing me leave and fall through the skies by the breeze exhaled. I became consumed.

Time would shift. I as well saw in myself the beauty in life. One would think that being changed by events would thwart any sense of ego yet it remained. Ithought of myself “in control”, though it was obvious I was not. One addiction switched to another and I thought freedom was found in blissful ecstasy when one was beside someone else. It became a game and sex was the drive instilled to keep me alive, or so I thought. And then it occured, love in its purest form. Within such notions or my knowledge, all said was true and lost within this person I was not. But then again, the broken pieces of who I am could not hold the substance and the beautiful mess I was seemed to cut the other til the string was cut. All was lost or so I thought. Looking at the clouds before I took on my usual self. Allowing my mind to be silent, my emotions as cold as winter and the storm drowning me in the seas of guilt and imperfections. Yet there he was, drenched in blood, a symbol of his death on the cross. But this was a dream, so I thought, for who should love me enough to die for my faults. Chains breaking and my hands feeling no constraints. My mind finding a peace I longed for. A feeling to feel whole abounding my the springs running through me, overflowing and making me be complete. This is love. He is enough.

A sense to no longer “escape”, hinder or hide who I am in any way shape or form. But to grow, learn and experience reality in its entirety. To feel with a passion that comes from his own. God. Love. Truth. My eternal addiction.

WRITE!!!!

Just write and keep on writing, even if you run out of ink, let your blood and sweat become your source. You can make up excuses not to write or become distracted. Yes, you, the one who is looking back at in the mirror. You’re not an aspiring writer or author, YOU ARE a writer! Take time and write, consider this a job! Let your passion burn through each page. Let the storms that rage inside and the worlds you have inside your mind come alive, be explored. Don’t stop just with a short story, a poem, an article or a novel. Keep going. You don’t just want this to be a hobby, this is your calling, your gift, your dream made into reality. Now write!

(Something I found myself screaming at myself when I was scrolling through social media.)

Take Time

What if you could hold time in its place and just simply look bewildered at everything around? If you could just take in the moment, all the little details we miss, maybe a smile, a scenery we don’t capture. Such it is in life. A life where we are always in the constant move. We forget that we only have this one life and in turn sometimes we keep thinking of the past, the future and forget the present.

I’ve written before about being present but in most cases I also have learned that what I write is a reflection if what is happening in my life or what I’ve learned/what I’m learning. To say we have control in time seems to be controversial yet it is possible to some extent. The truth is we do have control of our lives. We make choices that decide what out future will look like. We can invest out hours to a career we have pursued or are pursuing. We can spend a couple of hours with friends, family, or even our pets. Yet we sometimes one key thing, taking time for ourselves.

We live in a world that has now established the “self” and in turn it has made us selfish or narcissistic to an extent. But as well when we take time and reflect on what is around us we can find a balance we can never find by any rules we might apply by a self help book. When we take time to explore who we are as a person we begin to be present to who we can be. We begin to see our likes and not what the culture or media tries to push on us.

We’ve all heard the saying, our time is now, but before we take those steps, let us first say, let me take the time to see what I need, truly need before I chase after dreams. We can say we don’t want to be single but also we must consider we need time to hrow as an individual and love ourselves and know what is love to properly love. All I can say is take time now, not merely in the sense of being present but learn to truly observe, feel, as if time was still. We do only live once and would you rather just feel like you existed instead of reaching the end and saying you truly lived?

Just Another Story (short story)

Every one usually has a story they don’t usually share. For me my story has yet to be completed yet one can learn much from reflecting on it. Though I believe I am best to recount my tale I do so not to entertain, the format may appear to be of a myth, it is to bring to light who I am, no longer embracing the shadows…

I walked through the forest, I was tired. The moon hung overhead, beaming its glow and finding its way through the branches, helping me see through the darkness as I waved away the mosquitoes that continued to bombard me. I ran out of water a mile back from where my car broke down. “Just take the shortcut, you’ll get there like an hour earlier than expected.”, so I thought. The branches and leaves crunched as I made my way, pushing away bushes and vines that lay in front of me. It was a good thing it wasn’t a cold night, though I had been walking for about two hours now, I knew for sure I was lost. I reached into my left pocket. I pulled out my cellphone, clicking the power button and seeing the time, 11:40pm. “Great!”, I muttered the word, mad at myself as I knew I was hungry and thirsty, still with no sign of civilization anywhere. I continued walking.

I saw what appeared to be a light in the distance. A soft glow seemed to appear from a clearing that was coming up. I couldn’t tell what time it was as my phone finally had no charge for the past hour. I could notice know what the light was. There was a small lake, the light from the moon reflected on the waters surface. Without hesitation I rushed to the edge to grab a handful. Such sweet delight I thought as I lifted my head after taking huge gulps of freshwater. I didn’t pay mind to the thought of the water not being safe to drink, for some reason I just felt drained, thirsty, exhausted beyond belief.

As I lifted my head I noticed something peculiar on the other side of the lake. There was an old man, standing, looking down at the lake. “Finally some help” I could hear the words escaping my mouth, ” excuse me sir, hello, can you hear me. My car broke down awhile back like a couple of miles due west, I can’t exactly pinpoint the direction, all I know is that it was somewhere along the shortcut to get to the city.”. I talked trying to explain my situation to the old man and walked to greet him. The old man didn’t even flinch, that was odd, most people would jump at the sight of a complete stranger appearing from out of no where, especially within a forest. I etched closer to the old man, He appeared to be quite aged, yet there was something familiar about him, though the night couldn’t help me clearly see him, even with the moon light. “Hello? Sir, my name is David, my car….”, I stopped beside him. The old man seemed to be fixated at something within the water. I reached out to touch his shoulder, “Look David.”, the old man spoke is a raspy voice, slowly lifting his hand and pointing to where he was looking at. I knew and watch too many horror movies to stay and wait for something to happen, yet every part of my being wanted to look to where he was pointing at. I started looking away from the old man’s face to where his finger was pointing to.

Upon the water was the reflection of the old man, I looked for my own only to be left bewildered, it wasn’t there, no other reflection was there, not even the moon’s, yet there was a glow upon the surface of the water. I looked at the old man’s reflection as the water seemed to be moving by ripples. I stood beside the old man, mesmerized now for some reason. After awhile I could see something else in the water, a small boy, I looked up and noticed that there wasn’t anyone but the old man and myself. I looked back and saw the little boy, he seemed to be smiling, but still I couldn’t make out the face, yet he as well seemed familiar. After awhile the lake seemed to come alive with images as if it was a television, I could see the scenery change behind the boy, he was in a playground now, he appeared to be leading a group of kids and shouting, fighting what appeared to be invisible enemies, he seemed happy. Another ripple and the scene changed again, the boy now was surrounded by family, they were all laughing and talking, the boy held a woman close, hugging her and smiling. The ripple came again. The Boy’s face was cold, he didn’t smile, he looked at the woman inside of a casket and looked up at the other woman who was holding his hands.

Ripples.

The boy seemed older, taller, he was talking to an older man and appeared to be watching TV. The boy hugged the older man and waved after awhile as if signifying he was leaving. The water rippled again slowly. The boy held a box of things, he lifted a wallet and a book from the box and hugged it, crying, he looked down. From behind the boy or from the water I could not tell something dark was coming. I could slowly make it out,it appeared to be within the water yet it also seemed to be a part of what I was seeing. A snake rose to the surface and circled around the boy. The snake was black, with pitch black eyes. the water started to get darker everywhere except from where the boy was. The snake stopped, it seemed to catch my gaze, it stuck its tongue out as if sniffing the air and sensing my fear and dove underwater again. I looked at the boy, the boy turned his head towards a dark figure that appeared beside him, he was nodding his head and then after awhile stopped and looked up, a sly grin crept up from the Boy’s face before the lake went completely black.

I looked up at the old man, his gaze still clenched at the reflection I no longer could see. I decided I would break his gaze at least and looked down to see a rock beside my feet. I bent down, picking it and and getting ready to throw it in the water. The old man spoke, “Look David.”, it sounded even more ominous than before and I looked again at the reflection that now seemed to appear.

The boy was no longer a boy, he was a young man, seemed to be in his teens. Something about him seemed off yet i couldn’t clearly see who he was, yet again, I felt like I knew who that was but I couldn’t figure it out. The young man seemed cold, he had no expressions on his face as if he was robot. He carried a binder in his hand with weird symbols and on his left arm were weird markings. I saw the scenes change and the young man was now in front of a group of other teens, they seems to be doing graffiti and I could tell the young man was smoking something as he has it lit up in his mouth while holding a bottle of something and a spray can in the other. Every time the young man smiled and looked around I could feel a cold shiver down my spine.

Ripples.

I could see now what appeared to be the young man sitting on a car, he didn’t have that cold expression anymore, only sadness, he seemed to be looking up at something, then closing his eyes, tears rolled down as his lips were moving as if he was speaking. Ripples started again but this time it seemed more intense, the water started to clear up and I could see the snake again rising from the water. It looked at me as its head finally came out. The scene changed around the snake, passing as flashes, watching the young man grow into a man, finishing what appeared to be high school, passing nights with friends, crying alone as if heartbreaks, and jumping to seeing someone I could clearly make out. It was her. I couldn’t believe it, within the reflection of the water, the woman I loved, my girlfriend, why was she there? I saw her smile and could see the man go to hug her as she came through a door, i saw him hug her outside a movie theater. Ripples again as I now saw the snake advancing towards me. I saw the man, smiling again like he did as the boy, he looked up and pointed to what appeared to be the snake. The old man yelled, “Now David!!!!!”, without realizing it I gripped the rock I still held in hand. The snake slithered ferociously towards me, I slammed the rock at his head. It didn’t have time to lurch itself at me, I seemed to move on my own.

I looked up at the old man, I could start making out why he looked so familiar. I looked at the reflection on the lake as well, it was me… I tried to speak, the old man looked up at me, smiled and started walking away. “Wait, what just happened.” I yelled out still stunned as I also noticed the snake turned to a black ooze that washed away from the ripples the lake now made. “Always follow the light David, no matter how lost you think you are, no matter how dark the road may be, we lose our path at times, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be found, always follow the light, let your heart reveal who you are, and let the truth set you free.”, the old man was speaking as he made his way to the forest, stopping by a tree. “Learn to reflect what you’ve been through to remind you what you’ve been through, though you have seen the darkness you are no longer a part of it, the light is always by your side, remember that. Learn to reflect what you have now as well, it is a blessing. Reflect not only in what is within but learn to reflect that is true, that is love, out. We can see it all within our reflection and so can the world. Take care David….” The old man walked away, disappearing into the forest.

I looked at the lake, I could see my reflection now upon the water. I smiled. I remember, I remember who I am, what I’ve been through, my beliefs, my love, everything. I looked up at the moon and then back from where I came from, I saw a light in the distance through the trees. I stated making my way there. As few minutes flew by I noticed I arrived at the road where my car broke down, “that’s not right I thought.”. There was a tow truck next to my car,” hey you buddy, your car mess up on you?”, a man in his late 40s called out to me as I came out of the forest. “Yes, sir!”, I rushed to greet him, still trying to figure out what transpired moments before. “Can I get a lift to the city, once there I can pull some money out an ATM and pay you.”, I was relieved. “Sure, hop in.” The guy waved at me to get inside as he set my car up to take it with us.

As we drove closer to the city my thoughts raced of what occurred, I told the guy I was lost for a couple of hours and that I came a cross a lake, to my amazement he told me there wasn’t a lake for miles it was all forest stretching out, that I would have had to walk for days for at, he thought I was nuts. I don’t know what I experienced but e message was clear to me. I smiled. I looked at the time in the truck, 12:00am, I chuckled. The guy looked at me funny and pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. I rolled down my window and felt the air brush against my face. I could see the city as we got closer, the lights illuminating the night sky. I looked at the moon . . . . always follow the light. I looked at my phone in my hand as it was charging, it was just turning on and I could feel the vibrations of all the messages and notifications of missed calls from my girlfriend, “oh boy, I’m dead” I dialed her number and could hear it ring. “Hey babe, sorry….” She interrupted me going on a rant how I was ignoring her. I could see myself smiling in the reflection of the side mirror it was another moment I understood my reflection……

Just my thoughts

Sometimes you just want to write just to write. Not to be heard or what most people who are technical consider “ read”. There are times where you just want all the words from your head to just escape. The storm raging inside and with no clue to the cause. It begins with a simple thought and escalates to memories being flooded within.
The truth is, I’ve learned much in these days. I can’t presumably state what about me has changed but people can see it. Yet as well I can feel that something about me is completely different. It has brought me to become more aware of the world around me, the people around me. Life is considered complicated and yet it is actually just simple.

From the recent events or “changes” I’ve seen that we over complicate things. I mean sure we go to school, get a job and then pay bills, maintaining a family, etc become something that may stress you out. But apart from all that when you begin to see even the suffering or hard trails as blessings and a way to grow, things change. I can’t claim to know the answers to life, I’m in my mid 20s looking at my life and just consider all I’ve been through. Ive been blessed with have a family, even if we argue at times, I’m blessed to simply make it to my 20s, yet my past was not the best. Even with all of that said I can honestly say it all has made me be who I am today. I don’t regret the choices and even at tines even though I experienced things that radically changed me i wish i could relive them and not change a thing, such as falling in love all over again.
The thing is, my life’s been good. I’m not rich and I haven’t gone to some college and am within my career field. Even with still considering myself a writer and not being to write, I find joy in spilling out words that come from my heart or soul. It isn’t even the case that I want to see someone like my article or what I post, but so that I can connect and in turn maybe teach someone who needs to hear and think like me. I just want to write and keep on writing, even if it is just my thoughts, if it’s words that are never read or even liked. I feel alive when I write but more so, I feel like I write because it allows me a sense to be at peace, closer to God. I know it may sound weird but that’s just what I enjoy, to write. I thank God for everything and as well for all who read what I write. Thank you.