I Am But A Man

Many people ask, “why should I care about all this ‘conspiracy’ or ‘truth’, if it doesn’t affect me it doesn’t matter?”. *takes a deep breath* How dare you? Doesn’t affect you? Really? Let me remove the gloves and take off my smile. This affects ALL of us. Since the days of Nimrod and his rise to power, to the belief man was a God, to the origins of most religion, to the worship of the sun God, the one who brought fire, not a delusion of Jesus but of Lucifer(Satan) taking his throne on this earth, Babylon, to the new Babylon taking form. There’s a class of people who deem themselves the elite and worship this deity. They have, for years, manipulated our culture, education, way of life to complete their agenda. It isn’t about ignoring it anymore, just doing so proves they have already brainwashed you. Saying it doesn’t affect you reveals an even greater sense of ignorance I’ve ever heard. Also displaying the side you have chosen, to do nothing implies a sign of conformity and surrender. 

The truth ive come to realize is people honestly don’t want to wake up from their fantasy. They are comfortable, as the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah ran rampant in their wickedness so shall we, believing there is no judgment, that our future generations will not pay the consequences of the world we are shaping for them. What has happened, O you people who marvel and bow before our own creations or place others as idols, though filled with imperfection? Why do we continue to live as mere fools upon the wake of our race decaying? It is not an egocentric act we speak boldly about the things that have transpired or will transpire, it is out of love and love. We risk our lives sharing this information, men, women, have died to spread it. This isn’t a jokibg matter anymore or something we can switch off. The system is taking back its rights to enslave. 

We are systemically being programmed to obey. I speak this from the heart, I’ve been in the other side, I only glimpsed the plans and seen passed the veil. There really isn’t a marvelous array of colors at the end of a rainbow in this world, this is a war, not of the physical kind. We waste away our lives as mere cattle and have lost the value of life, of people. We have gone wrong when we began to value ourselves superior than our neighbors instead of out of respect as a family.

 This can seem like a long rant and I can have people mad, but honestly, WAKE UP! This isn’t a movie, people are dying, lies are being accepted as truth, immorality is becoming the norm. We are at a crisis. It can seem all fun and games, share photos, like or double click pictures but where is the changed hearts, where are the people changing the world. And sure the question can be asked, “what are you doing?”, I’m speaking and opening the mind of people. I’m one of those people who spend countless hours researching, losing sleep, I was one of those who practiced magick, talked to demons, spent my time in the debauchery of this world, and for what? My own gain or pleasure? After a few hours I still felt like crap, nothing changed. I was that guy who liked to manipulate girls, for what? A passing of time with no real commitment to comfort my own brokenness? Life is an amazing thing, truly a gift, and we are allowing it to be robbed, shaped, and given a poor substitute. Love is another subject in the wicked experiment. To truly know love and be loved, it is beyond words. To be able to look at someone and be completely naked in mind, soul, body….to look in her eyes and say…you are as broken as I am but I want us to build a future together as we gather our pieces in a strong foundation. 

Call me radical if you will, a hypocrite, though I claim not perfection or superiority by the truth I speak or wisdom It may appear I have. I AM BUT A MAN.  Flesh and blood just like you. I fail and stumble, I bleed, I cry, I get angry, and I face the same temptations. Ive hurt people before and I am sorry about that, truly I am, but I do not regret the choices I’ve made now though at times I wish I could hug one more time, see someone one more time, even kiss. I AM BUT A MAN. We have to wake up, it’s not too late, the state we are in. We can turn back from all this. Through all my experiences I’ve found God to be the answer, to change me. I’ve said it many times, I cannot conform, I will not, and as the darkness stretches over the Earth and those who follow truth shall be persecuted, I will preach truth to my brothers and sisters, til my dying breath, even if I’m ignored. These things that are happening have been foretold and foreseen by people who have awakened to the reality. It is shocking to see people and how they live their lives and yet I cannot say nothing because it is my opinion? Though it all affects us in a grand scheme? Really? We need to get off our high horse and come to understand who we are, what we are going to do, and what can we do as people. This is all I have to get off my chest for now. It can seem like I am a broken record but until the message digs deep and one comes to understand it, it will never stop. I can always talk about cute, love, inspiring articles or words but also the truth needs to be shared and one shaken to the reality we are facing. I can even go into an even broader study but that in itself would be too long. One cannot change the mind of people, they have to do that themselves when they begin to see the light amidst the darkness.

The Divide or A Body?

I was asked once before why is their so much division in the church. Let me be clear as Paul was clear. 4For when one says, “I follow Paul,” and another, “I follow Apollos,” are you not being merely human?5What then is Apollos? What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. 6I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth. 7So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth(1 Corinthians 3:4-7). This can be seen through the denominations of the church. Just the same, “Christians” who profess with their mouths but not their lives. Now again, within denominations some have a difference in opinion about certain topics such as pre tribulation, post tribulation rapture, others about holidays and etc.

Now to properly state or see that one is Christian is by the bases of the belief. Sola scriptura, the bible being God’s word. Belief in God as creator that God is one, but also understanding the trinity is laid out in scripture, three persons, each holy, each with their own purpose in subordination, all God, not three God’s but one. Belief in necessary sacrifice of Jesus while also seeing we are saved by grace through faith, not works but recognizing faith produces works, for faith without works is dead. It is a view and in knowing God has allowed us to be saved by his work not our own.

In my stand, I can state, I’m Christian, but my understanding is strictly biblical, I am an apologist in the faith and for the most part my understanding leans more to a calvinist/reformed view but not entirely. I do believe in post tribulation rapture. I don’t celebrate holidays on a personal note because I see everyday for the Lord, but just as Paul exclaimed, there will be some who set a day as Holy and that is fine but also be aware of the customs used or how you do it, research it. Though I can say I would exchange gifts on Christmas but it is as a sign of respect or to show love, even if there’s a day set, I would gift whenever and however, regardless of date. Just the same like I stated before, there are many who claim they are Christian or say they believe in God but just claiming and “believing” does not mean you are born again or saved. As well, there are cults or factions who claim they are Christian but are not, mormons and etc.

The division people claim to see or see, is for the most part, American Christianity. Outside of the states it would seem one who calls themselves Christian are persecuted, live lives fully for God, and etc. We toss the title around to make us seem righteous. We’re not perfect. Just the same, there are those who lead others astray, false teachers, and many stray from the faith. We are the church, the people, and though it may appear to be divided, it is not. But as well we help others see the truth and lead them back to fellowship if they are astray. Though you may see “denominations” we believe in the core understanding and teaching of scripture. We are the body, each a different part, but coming together as a whole, used differently to glorify God, the church. Don’t be so quick to say we are divided or think differently because of one who claims their Christian, let their fruits be shown by their life.

Even If You Stand Alone

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything.(1 Corinthians 6:12)

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world,but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:2)

It is interesting to look out at the world and see how far we’ve gone. Just the same, it is a marvel to see how little we’ve changed as a people. I’ve heard it time and time again how people have perceived us to be “far ahead of our time”, yet we are merely rediscovering some things ancient civilizations once did. Yes, we have fancy cars, computers and etc. But apart from that there is something we have completely let happen, our humanity slowly decaying.

Let us look bavk at the ancient civilizations, where kings or pharoahs made the people dependent and as slaves, benefitting those in power. Separation of people by color and race or racism. People allowing their desires or what they deem acceptable by their own ideas, invade the culture as a whole. Such is the case, we’ve gone so far and yet have seemed to go no where at all. We’ve become comfortable. It can be seen, we have become tolerant of things that are happening in the world. We’ve allowed or state as a race(collective group-humanity) become distorted by our egos or empty philosophies or desires.

To those who seem to keep at a distant or become aware of what is happening, we are singled out, appearing to be insane because we do not relish what others do. If we state our opinions and it is not on par with what the culture deems acceptable we are excluded, ignored or made to seem as fools. Yet through it all, I will continue to say, it is better to stand alone for truth, love, then to allow one self to be bombarded by a sense of what may appear good but is not truly beneficial. To not let anything truly master you unless of course we properly are in subjugation to God and not our own train of thoughts or emotions. We as a people are a part of the problem. We easily follow the crowd or what is promoted with an appearance of “good”. Sex is seen as a common thibg nowadays apart from love, even broken families seem to be a constant trait, and now even acceptable.

Life will always be a difficult path. It is true there will be things we don’t agree on or even people, but one should never allow that to change one’s self to come in congruency with another. Of course we should respect people but as well be at liberty to state our opinions, now like I said before, if it is meant to diminish anyone than keep quiet and learn to truly be humble. We have to learn to stabd for what is right from the immorality that is happening and defend our rights as well as who we are as a people. Police brutality, racism, corrupt governments, these all must be dealt with and one must take a stand, even if one stands alone. In the pursuit of truth and ultimate freedom we must be ready to stand alone at times. One will be cast out at times but still, keep at it. The truth always stands. Never conform, change is made by risks, growth is made by experience, and we create history by doing something the world has never seen and instead of retracing our steps and allowing nations to fall or empires rise, let us be an example, so in turn many can be guided to change. To come in unity, to peace, with truth, in love.

The Unknown

​Sleepless nights, met with memories. Troubles, interwoven, weighing in on thoughts. Depression compressing and releasing it in waves. Tides shifting and leaving emotions marooned. Lost soul looking for a home. Trees rattling with leaves falling by the breeze. Looking out unsure of the shore on the horizon. So it seems to wonder what is on the other side. Green pastures, blissful paradise. Serenades played in ecstasy by the voice of your beloved. Lost soul looking for a home. A home, never understanding the storm. Such is life the voyage of the . . . unknown. . . .

All In One

A common question arises to the Christian when explaining their belief, this not only entails: who Christ is, who is God, why is there evil, and etc. For topics sake, today I will touch upon who is God in the sense what many try to understand, God as one, while still understanding the trinity. Thus it is true, Christians believe in the believe (myself included), while some try to justify that scripture does not speak of such matters. Let us be first clear that no one can truly comprehend God, we are but finite beings. But as well let us take note what is revealed in scripture and that is what I intend to do.

Before I let scripture and my own understanding be shown, let me as well clarify some things to those who have tried to understand or tackle this matter: 1. There is one God. 2. The Trinity consists of three persons. 3. Each is distinguished. 4. Each member is God. 5. There is a subordination within the trinity. 6. Each member has their own tasks. Now that this is explained, let us continue.

God, the Father

“One God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist…” ( 1 Corinthians 8:6). The Father, the ultimate cause of the universe. Understanding that God himself exists before time and space, unrivaled, and apart from the laws that man abides to by natural means. The same God who’s wrath will be poured out and because of his love sent his son to die for us as substitute. (John 3:16) The almighty God, on his throne, described in Revalations.

God, the Son

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:1) our Lord and savior (2 Peter 3:18). In this verse it comes to mind what was spoken about in Isaiah, “I, even I, am the LORD, And there is no savior besides Me.” (Isaiah 43:11). And even looking at the book of Isaiah, the prophecy spoken about Jesus’ birth. “For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6) It is not something shocking when we allow his word to speak about God, it is the clearest picture of who God is and even though we have not seen the father, because of the son we have a picture of who he is. “15 He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. 16 For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. 17 And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. 19 For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell” (Colossians 1:15-19). A thing to note as well is not that he was created, it is stated, “ALL THINGS” were created through and for him. Just the same, the declaration of Jesus himself as stating, ” 13 I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.” (Revelation 22:13) with the following verse 16 revealing who is speaking, Jesus. A title given to God, the first and the last. Or even how the Father himself reveals who he is, “8 But about the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom. 9 You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; therefore God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy.” 10 He also says,“In the beginning, Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth (Hebrews 1:8-10). Looking back at the beginning of Genesis and seeing God said, let US make man in our image. We can even take account what his disciples stated, “My Lord and my God!” (John 20:28).

God, the Holy Spirit

“3 But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land? 4 While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to man but to God”. (Acts 5:3-4) This passage in itself reveals who it is Ananias lied to. We at times don’t take into account that the Spirit resides in us as believers. God dwells within us, our bodies a temple (1 Corinthians 3:16). “Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, “I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM; AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.” (2 Corinthians 6:16)

Now I get asked many times why is not three Gods? They are not three gods and not three beings. They are three distinct persons; yet, they are all the one God. Each has a will, can speak, can love, etc., and these are demonstrations of personhood. They are in absolute perfect harmony consisting of one substance. They are coeternal, coequal, and copowerful. Scripture shows that the Holy Spirit is subordinate to the Father and the Son, and the Son is subordinate to the Father. This is an internal relationship and does not deny the deity of any.

The truth is, we as mere men and women will never truly comprehend God. What is required of us is seeing his Glory and grace, his power and bowing to him in worship. All knees shall bow to the Lord Jesus Christ. All mouths shall praise our God, the Father, on his throne, and all spirit will reside with the Holy spirit bearing witness of our salvation. To God be the glory. Let us then continue walking in faith, ” therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,” ( Matthew 28:19) Be Blessed.

My Pursuit of Truth

I’ve heard a common misconception about me. Some may claim I’m very opinionated, now let me be clear about this. I know fully well the difference between the truth and an opinion. If I were to refer to my opinion on matters, I would clearly say it. Otherwise I would always reference what I am conveying. Such it is with people who disregard what I say as rubbish or ignorance because I am a Christian.
I can introduce what matters and say I believe in God and absolute truth. People can say no and say their is no God but that in itself is an act of faith and how one rules it “relative” truth which is in fact an opinion. To claim there is not, implies your statement or belief is absolute which contradicts the notion of relativism. Then again it means you hold the “truth” but can be seen as an opinion. Truth in itself is absolute or plainly validate by proof. 1+1=2. Earth is round. One can try to use the elephant theory of the blind men but then again it is an elephant. Your view is impaired because one cannot get a clear picture of it unless studied from all angles.
Just the same people think I do not uphold to scientific laws or say things like Jesus never existed, bible is man made etc. To be honest, I do believe in science, in the sense of how we came to be, I’m not 100% certain, God could just have created the world in a day or 6, or taken years to make as scripture says one day is like a thousand years. Jesus not existing is ludicrous because even external sources reveal his existence. Bible being man made, in part yes it was compiled by man but as well they are historical accounts as well as revalations given to man and it took years of precise investigation to come together. The early christians didnt just say put everything into one and see here is the bible, everything was looked into to match the original writings and to never contradict the prophets words which came from God. Now to say it is a myth of it all and we can’t believe it means we cannot excuse our own teachings. Man is without error in the search of knowledge, we change our books every few years with the more evidence we find. And though I can defend and reveal how the bible is historically sound or how it may reveal even science in it’s texts will not amount to anything unless one believes as well in the end. It all amounts to change of heart and faith.
I search for truth always and I do so being a Christian, from someone who was an athiest, to following jewish mysticism, Buddhism, occult, magick, to religion, to Christianity for I do not see it as religion. I always try to encourage and motivate people to search for truth on their own. But as well though it may seem like I push my beliefs, on the contrary, I’m doing what is told of me by God, to share the truth I have been revealed regardless of the consequences. My beliefs are my own, I follow truth and I will respect people as a whole, sharing in love what I know.

Humble Beginnings

With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2)

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

We complain about others all the time. Even one who claims to be a saint can attest to something someone else has been doing “wrong” in their eyes. But this is something we must face and ultimately learn to stop if and when we allow love to invade our very being. We do have a selfish ego and pride always tries to allow our desires to be above others.

It isn’t a surprise I was going to touch about this subject. If it was, then boo, surprise. But as some who keep up to date to my articles or my blog, I’ve touched about love and in turn humility or humbleness entails within. Even with just the beginning sentences I can picture people turning heads. This is necessary like I explained.

Humility and becoming humble allows us to truly love with a love that stretches beyond conditions. In reality, the world has spawned into a narcisstic view. We are taught nowadays to value ourselves and do things for us but in turn does that also not seeme to be a relative view or an opinion in itself? I mean let me explain. For example we are presented to become a better person for yourself not someone else, let’s put it in a scenario such as a relationship. We say something like, people should accept us for us. This is true, but to an extent. Like I’ve explained, true love requires sacrifice and like a quote I’ve read before, “true love is one when two people come together to sacrifice and change for one another, they become better versions, pushing eachother to new limits.”. Now all of this amounts to all and any kind of relationship.

Like Jesus taught, it is better to give than to receive and even how early Christians and even people understood about being in this earth. We are here all together, a body of people, brothers and sisters. We have placed too much focus on ourselves that we disregard others and in turn ask why the world is in such a state. Humility is a necessity and he who is humble is wise because the wise understand that it matters not what one can gain but what one could give, their knowledge, hope and etc.

Just the same it is a mark of a truly changed heart. When one begins to truly love they want what is best for the other. Let us look within ourselves and ask ourselves this question, is it all about me? Because truly I say to you, we are but a grain of sand and to focus so much simply on our selves we lose a sense of true joy which can be found in relationships, family, friends, lovers, even strangers. Be an example that there is people who love, who care. Let’s end our pride and start in humble beginnings. Be blessed.

I’m Sorry

I’m sorry.

These very words that echo through every part of my being. That swarms through memories of life as I look back. Writing through the emotions and the tears that no longer seem to flow no matter how sad, happy, or angry I may feel. In knowing and seeing how crazy life has turned out and in understanding the choices I’ve made, the things I’ve said, have changed people, events, and in turn, myself. Yet just reciting the words we so casually hear seems to have no impact after awhile, yet here I am, writing as if all could hear or read these words, saying I’m sorry.

My past no longer comes to a surprise anymore. Reason I stretch back to it and bring it forward is because I try to reveal the lessons learned from it. It isn’t easy or at most part it was never truly easy getting up every morning and bearing the weight of the past and present. Each step feels like a never ending reminder of the failures, heartbreaks, your frailty, your weakness, your humanity. Yet here I am, as strong as I can ever be, still managing to live life, filled with love. It is no easy task but it is necessary, to learn to accept and move on.

We are taught day in and day out to “let go”. We’ve even turned to catchy phrases like, “let go and trust God”. But truly it is never good to just let go. Something I’ve learned is to accept what transpires. When I was deep in my studies of the occult, magick, and etc, something I learned was diminishing my “humanity”, my emotions. This in turn turned me cold and for the most part how I got my nickname at the time, “shado” I was dark and most people said, It felt like I wasn’t “there”. There is something we need to understand, things happen in life, we grow because of experiences and the lessons taught and learned. In doing so, we accept situations and understand why it happen, so in turn, things may have a different outcome. When you diminish or ignore an event or even a person, it changes you, it turns into a selfish venture. When we are kids we try to ignore things that we don’t like but it doesn’t change the fact that it is there.

But what does all have to do with being sorry? Like I’ve said, my life was never peach perfect or is it pitch perfect? I don’t remember. Either way, I haven’t been the best, heck, I haven’t come close to deserving any forgiveness in my eyes. From the days I would literally fight people for my own gain, debate people to claim my “wisdom” was better, to belittle people as a whole. Even to the way I objectified women and saw them as projects only to find myself now valuing love in its truest form. To having been cheated on, to idolizing people, to lying, to arguing, to even trying to change all for the sake of being seen as someone I’m not. It’s a marvel at the people who actually know me. It shouldn’t come as a surprise, I can count my friends with two hands. I’ve only been in two serious relationships and through it all, wrap everything together and all I can say is…I’m sorry.

My life has been a constant roller coaster. God rich in his mercy has allowed me to see how precious it is. Even upon my past and his sovereign naturr, he still forgives and forgave me. Yet even with that I’ve learned to ask for forgiveness and accept the things that have happened or happen in life. We don’t end up always where we dream to be, end up with the people we think will always be by our side. I never have claimed to be perfect and I’m sorry to all who I’ve hurt. Sorry to all I’ve could’ve helped but yet the fear in allowing God to use me entirely has pushed it back. I’m sorry for being me. It may sound weird but the thing is this, we’ve tried to be “us” and notice it isn’t working. So in turn I’ve died to self and allow God to reshape me.

I cannot take back all that I’ve done or have said but I can be present and live a life according to the will of God. To show love and share truth in the form I know best, through teaching and writing. I hope even those who follow my blog understand. I am my biggest enemy and sometimes I wish to write what I would like you to read instead what is needed to be read or even what I truly feel compelled to write. They do say writing is hard yet easy at the same time, I understand now. And though I may seem at my weakest at times, feeling is what makes me human, and being human is what reveals how I am such a beautiful creation. To God and all, I’m sorry. I will no longer let myself be held back, I’m at the service of God and his people. And to those in the past, I’m sorry, but see that I am no longer my past and hopefully we can all forge a better future.

Always A Reason

You wake up and look at the clock, 7am, you sigh and contemplate your next choices. We’ve all been there. Those moments in our lives where we stop and wonder, is it all worth it? I remember days like that or even looking at my life now. I write these articles, create motivational text or images, speak and teach to some and it has me reflect. We sometimes get discouraged if things are not on par with the life we planned.

Let’s take a look overall, we spend our early lives “learning” to survive. Even then we develop big dreams. Yet there are situations or people that come about that seems to thwart your “purpose”. We sometimes think we can be in total control, only to realize that we look at life as we near our end as if fate plays a role.

We experience a lot growing up. Depending on where we grow up or to better word it, our environment, shapes us. Our thoughts lean more on who we listen to or look up to and depending on how we begin to view the world, it will shape who we will turn out to be. I used to believe that free will encompassed the world in entirety but truly I’m seeing a tint of control, order, or what people call, fate. In Christianity, we’re taught God’s in control but as well he let’s people follow their desires. That is why I believe it’s foolish at times for people to claim God is evil, why, because he allows one to live their own lives and people rather live based on their own notion of morality than what is established? We’re so quick to blame and never noticed the grand scheme, we decide our choices, people have created this system and culture in this world. There is only evil, because we as well let it.

Some can question what I’m trying to convey and it’s simple. Look at life, there’s always a cause and an effect. You die because of events or old age, you love because you find love or bond with someone. But even looking upon all of this something transcends this. Reason. Now I’m not trying to describe the sense of logic and reason. But more so, there’s always a reason. You work because you need money to pay bills. You marry because you want to spend the rest of your life with someone and build a family. But these reasons seem necessary to some yet there is something more you begin to see as you mature, you ask yourself this question, what is my reason for being?

The question we all ask ourselves, our reason or what is our purpose. If we were to properly think we are but a small insignificant occurrence in space and time would show us to be of no value. To think we are products of an anomaly, mistake, there is much more in my opinion. Though I can attest I hold to the faith of a Christian this notion sparked even when I was an athiest. I’ve always been curious about life and my own being. Looking back I could see the lives I touched and changed. How my story was interwoven in such a way that without me or others, history would change. This in turn shifted my reasoning. Why was I doing things I normally would do? Why do I write these articles, on my blog, and etc? I could so easily do something else yet here I am. In grand part I learned this, to never forget nor be discouraged. We pass through life and experiences change us, we do things yet think of certain things as “boring” but always remember there’s a reason. There’ll be people you meet to help you grow, events to shape you but as well remember why you do qhat you do. There are reasons that shape us and reasons why we continue to be shaped. Life can truly never be fully understood, time is against us but even with that said, learn to find your reason, and then you will see the reason worth living for.

The Reality

You wake up one day and realize your life is not what it seems, you’re 25 , 35, 45, not living the “life” you expected. Even looking back at it all, you also notice, this isn’t the “place” you wanted to be in. Here’s the truth, reality hits you one day or at any moment. There is a “mid-life” crisis but in all retrospect, there’s a time where you notice life is not what was painted to you.

I can repeatedly talk about pursuing your passions, how things go on in life unexpectedly and etc. I can even try to encourage and motivate people to change but let us be honest it is our choice. This is in fact reality. You do only live once. You make a mistake, say something, you can never take it back, life moves on. You can’t change the past so why is it that we are weighed down by it? We like to think of wonderful lives we could of been living instead of being grateful we still have a chance to “make” a wonderful life.

I’ve lived 25 short yet testing years. From a child with parents that provided though they weren’t rich with 2-3 jobs, to losing everything, to being stable, to being homeless and etc. I still can say I’ve been blessed, not only because of God but because all of that has changed my perspective of life and helped me grow. I’ve loved and lost while revealing my value and integrity of any relationship. I’ve been given the ability to speak and search for truth. Even if I may have altered my future, my purpose hasn’t been any clearer if it was not for the realization that this is life. We truly ultimately do not have control. Anything can happen and you are not guaranteed tomorrow.

I’ve grown restless seeing how this world has gradually shifted and is continuing to do so as I’ve matured. You could say I grew up too fast but I despise the world’s state nowadays. Lust, sex, infidelity, adultery, immorality, is a norm now, love is either perverted or turned to a fantasy where people are mere objects and you are the sole reason it should be given to you. Though these are my opinions, a lot can be said, we have turned narcissistic, allowing our egos to dictate us and set ourselves as gods when in reality we are imperfect human beings who don’t want to admit we make mistakes. We easily can’t accept others differences and individuality so we allow divisions, and yet scream unity by saying men were created equal while so easily as well pointing the stereotypes or differences. What’s happened to the world? Honestly? We have created this future and instead of being change we just talk about it with the intention of just speaking instead of being heard, understood, and hopefully being an example to lead others.

I have been having this tug in my heart for the past few weeks, it is not in any way anxiety. Just a sense of wanting people to wake up. We are so keen to think we know how to live our lives and yet when it is falling apart is when we acknowledge we don’t. We can’t do this alone. We need to realize the reality, life is not like the movies. There is no magic genie that will fix it, you can’t go back in time, this isn’t a dream. You will get that career if you work hard, yes, you will love again one day, death is a natural course in life and etc. Not everything you experienced or people you met will be the same. Something I’ve learned as a christian is that no matter how good I want to be or think I am, I just can’t, only because I’m not perfect, I’m human and in being so, I allow God to guide me in love, light, and truth and reflecting the image of Christ. I’m not the old me and though people can view my beliefs or opinions the truth is this, you are alive and something is wrong with the world. We need change, not something promised by a man but a change within us, to not be the same and pursue a new light. I can point to the direction of Christ, but ultimately it is your choice to accept it.

Life is complicating but as well it is easy. We’ve just overcomplicated things to such an extent we have turned to our imperfections our temporary, vain, creations to satisfy a sense of existence but no true living or happiness. Working jobs we spend years in school for to then retire and let the world continue to degrade or even invest so much in schooling only to have the system is corrupt that we work jobs we do not like. Happiness is a choice not a pursuit and life is not a mere word it is simply being. Things may not work out, but when we work through obstacles, come as one, see a new course we will begin to see this isn’t just our story, we all are making history and leaving behind some sort of legacy. Be blessed all.