It’s early, let me admit it right now. It’s approximately 9:45 pm and here I am in bed, writing. You would think that at my age I would be out and about, “enjoying” my 20s. Yet, I’m here but for the most part it is not because I am dull or boring, even the fact that I lean morr to my introvert tendencies from from ambiverted being. The truth is, I dont find anything of the lifestyle many follow in this world to be fun. Yes, yes, we can sayor see that I’m Christian, that factors in a lot to it all. But as well, I did live the “life” when I was younger, it sinply passed away from me cause I saw the vanity in it as well.
We do things in this world that keeps us “happy” or to better word it, interested. When we get bored of something we move on or we try to turn something so that we don’t let go. It’s sad to say, but relationships seem to be seen in this fashion. Instead of fighting through obstacles or seeing the beauty as coming as one and seeing the nakedness of a person, to love unconditionally. We see the true person and our idea of that perfect person, dissipates and we turn and run or look for excuses to end it. In most cases simply with yhe things of this world we look for what is “new”.
This again has brought me to question life as a whole. Out of everything in life what truly brings us joy, why do we easily get bored or tired. The answer as clear as day appeared to me reading scripture. Most people would be like a kid and say, “oooh, I know the answer too!”, yes, I can say we need God but what I’m trying to explain is the why.
In and through life, we are imperfect creatures. We fight, we get angry, sad, happy, bleed, become traumatized, and ultimately dies. Through it all, we also have the ability to create and destroy. That being said, we create or become ensnared by things that would allow our imperfections to be impaired. We see no pale reflection or skin tones, mocked and judged, bruise and battered. We look to be filled with that which in itself is also imperfect. We turn to music and drown out the noises we hear, dance the dances to have us in motion away from the stand we will face against the walls of emotions. We look to a substance to feel “lifted” or high to escape the gravity that weighs us down. We look to someone else thinking that they will fill the void or are that “missing piece” yet they themselves are imperfect and struggle just the same. The truth is we look to that which is a temporary “fix” only to find ourselves in a worst state than before. Then we continue to complain or move on because it wasn’t “enough” and continue to find “joy”. I remember the drinks to drown my sorrow only to find myself sinking and shipwrecked. I remember the nights, looking for the light or warmth in an embrace only to be cold, ultimately alone after each passing shadow of the people I would know and touch.
The answer is simple for the Christian, joy and sufficiency is found in Christ. The everlasting spring and light that covers any blemish you may have. Revealing all that you are and still dying for you, allowing the Father to see not what you have done but the son and the spirit coming in and filling the temple, covering you with love, truth, light, as he pours from you when you come to him. It is not about just knowing he is enough but why God is enough. In scripture it says we are dead apart from Christ, which how I see it is how we lokk into things that one tries to find a way to breathe, or come alive. When you come to Christ and the spirit overfills you, life is restored and from it a limitless supply is extended and you feel complete. You always are coming to him because only he can continue to overflow. I hear some “Christians” sometimes speak of how they can’t sit through a service, hear “christian” music, or do “christian” things. That only makes me ask the question, are you really saved? In most part though we are called not to partake in debauchery, for how can light be with darkness, we also see the vanity of such affairs.
Before I was even Christian I grew tired of it, knowing known of such affairs was going to reap proper benefits for my future. And this is where I stand or better yet lie here in bed trying to share, where do you find your joy. This question is for all, for though I speak as a Christian I also speak as a friend or someone who is human as well. I cannot say there are days where I don’t fully seek God and turn elsewhere. Or even days where I reminisce about who I will marry or what if I talked to a certain person, maybe even if I tried to reinitiate the flame with my ex, who as some know I still hold feelings for. But the question remains, where do I find my joy? The world is passing away and though we may think of it as a long journey of struggle, know their is peace and a sufficiency in Christ. There is true joy and with that being said, we begin to shift and rejoice in Christ, in and through all, even in our works or at work, doing everything as if it was for him. You may spend those nights thinking your alone, with thoughts or emotions from a recent break up or someone passing, struggles in life, addictions but know, God is with you. God is enough and all your joy in this world amounts to nothing apart from Christ, for he is the way, the truth, the life. Be blessed.