I’ve always enjoyed talking to those who have a special place in my heart. I’ve recently been talking to a friend about love, relationships and in general, life. A lot of the times I like to go back and the words we say, is in fact something I need to hear or relearn.
I usually write about love, God, and etc. Living a lifestyle that is uplifting an example to others. It has not come in such an easy task to impart such words. I’ve endured experiences and etc, to be able to learn what I have. Now I usually deem myself as not being adequate enough but I also feel a calling to talk about such things. When it comes to words on a paper, it flows naturally, compared to speech. And here I am now, discussing these matters.
Now, before I rant on, I want to quickly discuss the topic. You see, I’ve noticed something. We are all feeling a dire pursuit to be with someone or have a “good” relationship that we forget some key things. This is what I want to address. Before people throw stops, this is just what I’ve gathered in my life and seen to be true, the keys.
1. Bigger than you
If you are so caught upon what the other person can do for you, you have failed. In today’s generation we continuously are told, if they don’t pursue, they don’t deserve you. Yet, where is your commitment as well? It’s nice to post pics and have your list checked off that you follow for relationship “goals” but everyone is different. People are different. We are growing cold and decide that if someone can’t tolerate me, they don’t deserve me. This is hazardous and breeds narcissism or is embedded within.
2. Be of example
Just like I write constantly. In a world where “games” are played, continue to be a gentleman, a lady. Don’t lose your morals because you are comfortable. Sin is truly enticing and infatuation doesn’t last. You can abide to the others needs but end up losing yourself in the process, it’s no bueno. Be a light and with respect treat everyone with love.
3. In pursuit
This mostly goes out to the gentlemen. Find your wife. Stop listening to these songs and thinking all you need is sex. An intimate connection is worth much more when it is emotional, mental and especially spiritual. Know how to treat woman, with respect, and lead her towards marriage not a bed room. Now for woman, times may have changed but don’t be led astray by the culture, be modest, and instead show respect. Learn to discern intentions of men and don’t give in easily. Promises with words can only be so until proven by action. Commit to one another.
4. Share convictions and beliefs
Yes, I’ve heard the stories, two people of different faith and etc, fall in love. But understand, a household cannot serve two masters because it is then divided. I’ve learned this the hard way. Since I’ve gotten closer to God, I no longer view the same things people around me do. I rather stay clear from debauchery, clubbing, partying and etc. I rather show self control, even wait til marriage to have sex (even though I am not a saint and a virgin). I’ve been there and done that, I rather build in God and with him. This easily puts me as if I’m the “good” guy but guess what? I rather finish last just as my relationship will. Not saying unequally yoked couples won’t. I’m staying I rather not be divided but work together.
5. Love enough? Mostly
The truth is, love is enough, sometimes. A bit of a paradox, right? It’s true you can forgive and love unconditionally. You can even say love conquers all. But as well, end of the day, both of you need to be rational adults that transcend emotions. Know your responsibilites and commit to one another. Time, respect, trust. Love is proven by actions not words. Love is ultimately sacrifice. But of course, know, that with true love, it doesn’t matter the storm, going through it together is better.
6. They’re not perfect
There isn’t the “one”, Mr. Right, the princess or queen. Stop living the fantasy. Throw away the notions and lists. I keep hearing it’s okay to have standards, but let’s be real, if you are expecting someone to be someone they are not, you are being manipulative not loving. You can’t control people, nor worship them. We all make mistakes. Instead, grow with them and admire that their imperfections makes them “perfect” for you.
Yes, I know, I’m young. Heck, I’m single but I’ve learned these things from God and seeing examples from couples that do “work”. Just my study and views of what I see. This is Gee_ology blasting off, boom, let’s GO, be blessed.