Don’t Look At Me

I love pushing people. No, I’m not talking about going behind them and then, wham! They hit their head within seconds on the floor or something. I’m talking about in the sense of motivation. Now, those that read my posts know how I am already. What you don’t really know is, I find that I help others, more than I actually help myself.

Now, before everyone goes up to me and leaves a comment like, “Aren’t you the one that says you prefer leading by example?”, I am. But in essence to everything, I find I am better in giving advice to others and also over time, applying it to my life as well. Now sure, I mostly practice what I preach, you could say. What I’m trying to have you understand is, when it comes to me, I have stepped away from the egocentric tendencies that plagued me before. 

I may really, really want something, I can have the money for it, have it in hand, but I will hardly come to the conclusion to buy it. Take another scenario, I’m with people I love, I don’t focus on what I’m spending but in having a memorable experience and one filled with love. To me, I feel like I’ve enjoyed life, the ups and downs, experiencing almost everything. When it comes to taking time out for myself, it seems to not come as easily. Yet, tell me to write or draw, work on poetry, to ahare to the world, I am all down for it. Things that benefit people. But what most people don’t realize is this, it is who I am now. My sense of fulfillment comes from helping others. I feel alive and filled with life, when I do, help others. I don’t seek attention, nor fame, nor likes or comments, my true purpose is to help others and see a change in their lives. In knowing my words reached you, to me, that is the greatest of rewards as a writer.

Revealing Yourself Through Love

We long to be understood or interpreted the right way. Most of the time it is hard. We are stereotyped and categorized by experiences or even the culture. Take me for example, because of my past, people would assume I am the same, yet I’ve grown since those days. They assume they know me, based on what they hear, yet my life is a complex array of masks worn or tales told to keep people distant. Yet what I can honestly state now is if you would like to know me for who I truly am, ask now. There is a lot I kept hidden but I humbly ask for forgiveness to all my friends and family.

 We hear about people being a type of way, a race being a type of way, and that keeps us from revealing who we are. So we look for memes, status’s, quotes, or anything that will allow us to share what is on our mind, in our hearts. My advice? Let it out, no matter what you think others will say about it, about you, let it out. I’m not saying let it go. We think we can just replace feelings or thoughts with nothingness, as if it never was. I keep saying it, it is okay to feel, it is okay to express yourself. 

You are not what most people see you as. I’ve longed to understand this, to know myself and it took having everything I thought I knew, come crashing down. From believing I thought I knew love, to find true love. From seeing myself in my darkest of hours to see that there is truly light. And now, I try to share this with others, every chance I get.  Please, understand this. Give people chances, not everyone is like your ex, that pervy person, the “lunatic”, the abusive parents, and believe it or not, people can change. But also be aware not to be taken for granted. You can change as well but so learn that you have value and a purpose as well.

We long to be understood, yet have grown so cold trying to understand others and instead we label them. Yes, I’m Christian, I know myself not to be perfect, my  life is centered in and with God, but as well, I know myself to be a wretched mess born again by the grace of God. 

Listen carefully, you are beautiful in your own way, you were made to shine. What you surround yourself with, ultimately shapes you. What you reveal in your actions, determines your heart choices. Words are wonderful and when given true meaning, can mark and imprint themselves in one’s soul. I generally speak or write in such a way to grab an audience, but listen, I’m speaking to you. Yes, you reading this now, you are loved, in knowing this, be filled with love and in turn, let it overflow. Let not this culture shape you into someone who loses their humanity. Be a light, reflect who you are and be understood. You can say you feel alone or you are better off alone, but trust me, it isn’t worth it. I’ve experienced a life where I was, or I should say, felt alone. I always considered myself the villian, only because everyone would eventually leave. But that was my narcissistic affect. I wanted the world to be centered around me, my ego, but that is not love, life. 

To be understood is to be naked, to find those you can trust, share your gifts, talents, love without condition or selfish intentions. To be understood is to learn to be who you are and first come to understand who you are, through the darkness you have faced and the blessings you consider the “good”. You do not find happiness nor love, it is a choice, it requires action, sacrifice, and it is something you do everyday. I’m writing this now, in the early mornings because it is something I strongly feel the world needs to take in and learn. You are not alone, I am here, the voice to the voiceless. Observing the world around me and studying it but also helping others see what I’ve come to interpret as truth, I’m Gee_ology but also, I am Lucius, just a man, human, just like you. Be blessed.

Acting Solution

Stop. Seriously stop. I have your attention? Good. How long are you going to sit and rethink a situation? Live a life wishing it was Friday? Wishing you were done with school? Maybe even wishing you found that special person? Reliving memories of those who hurt you, blaming people? Thinking about your failures? 

Just stop. Please, listen. They say we are what we surround ourselves with, we are influenced by it. Being emotionless will not change anything, honestly it will make it worse. Complaining about it won’t either. You must come to the realization that this is your life. The choices you make now define who you will be. But understand, let the future be the future. Work on who you are now. Someone hurt you in the past? Then, learn that you must forgive, understand your own value, and allow the experience to shape you, help you grow and in return love another the way love was intended. 

We are not perfect, we can complain about school, but how blessed are we to be doing things that maybe our parents never had thr chance to. We act like the world owes us, yet, it does not, we owe it to ourselves from the life we have lived, to improve not believe that change will manifest based on our desires, we are change. If we do not change, society, people, who we are, will be blurred into an idea or perversion of what we were intended to be. Instead of evolving we are seeing a degradation, falling into our primitive ways. Seriously, we see now thousands, reported to have conditions based on how society has become. 

As a blogger, social media is a danger but it is also a blessing, a platform to reach people, but do not become consumed within it. I speak this not to be perceived as mere words, take action. We can contemplate on everything, over think and in turn, destroy ourselves. 

Let us take the risks and move forward in life. It is okay to feel, embrace it but also learn to move forward, learning from the experience as stated before. I am quite young, from someone who has his own issues, but I’ve learned, we create the outcomes based on our choices. We can allow ourselves to mask away our struggles by going out all the time, don’t get me wrong, having a good time, distraction, is fine, but don’t live a lie behind a mask. Learn to face reality and become the solution. Work hard, give it your all, and be the best version you can possibly be.

Escaping Storm

I don’t need an umbrella. Let me feel the rain and all It’s embrace. Removing the pain I long have felt, washed away. I have sought the sounds that I wanted to make upon these days. Silence now shaken, escaping emotions into thunderous flashes. Clashes of the peace within, battled by actions. Grab hold as the waves take toll with the path you have crossed. I am a storm. Yet from the surfaces of tales, I no longer see a monster. Piercing skies brought by the currents of warmth. Years of weathering pursuits. Let me feel the passing drops of tears I’ve held within. Let me feel the soothing touch upon my skin. Sorrow knows not my wake. Find me once again, O light that rises from horizons. Bring me home to your solemn grace.

Loving Reward

Show me a reason to hate and I shall forgive, giving you 1000 reasons why I will love. To hate reveals my ego, what I desire and never received. To love reveals my sacrifice, my commitment, placing others before me. To see this, you begin to realize, anger, hate, is of no true benefit. To love and be loved is the greatest reward.

Forever


Unfolded heart, basked in rays of light. Filled by unmatched tendecies, bewildered by blissful ecstasy. Find not pain upon yearning memories. Rejoice on joys holdings and attain the pure, noble ventures. Ends not through simple words of goodbyes but finds eternity with open arms. Remove masks of prideful deceit and unleash connections bonded beyond time, made complete. Find distances lead not astray in destinations nor dismay. Be mine, forever more.

Proving Love and Yourself

“I don’t have to prove anything”, I screamed it out. I turned to see my reflection. Eyes filled with tears. Reality hit me then and now. I do.

I was once a very strong believer of, you don’t have to prove yourself. You are always entitled to be yourself and expect people to accept you, if they didn’t, screw them. This notion, let’s just say it was roughly last week, shifted in my mind. 

For those who don’t know how I am, a lot of my writing deals with things I’ve endured. Well, you could say all writers are like that, true enough. I’ve learned that no matter what I did, it was always for me. Having the wake up call to my narcissism, revealed my egocentric personality. Though I can no longer take back what I said, did, I now remain to be as humble, honest, and “real” as possible. I’ve learned the importance of others.

This all now comes flooding back to me, why do we believe ourselves to be the center of the universe. Everyone wants to be shown they are loved, are of value, and etc. We have become a culture where emotions or views have diminished. We want to be connected but are disconnected from one another. Emotions are just pixels on screens, emojis and snaps, filled by catchy words on the side. But does all of this prove who we are? What we love?

There was once a boy who loved this girlfriend so much, he would do anything for her, yet amidst it all, no matter what he did, it was not love. Just the opposite, one who did so little, but loved entirely. What am I getting at? Love is action, yet actions are not how much we can do but what has meaning behind it.

To love who you are, others, you prove it. You will be known by your “fruits”, faith without works, is dead. You see, we have been conditioned to accept a tolerant yet, unjustified stance. My opinions matter, who I am, you might, but I will pick which one I reveal to be true. This in itself, destroys any notion of love. Just like I stated, I wish I could have proved my love to someone, yet I did not know who I was not respect enough to pursue, I instead, hurt. 

So I leave you with this, it is okay to prove who you are, prove love, show emotions, show your thoughts. But don’t let it cloud you in seeing that others deserve a place as well. Love others as yourself, if not greater, it does not diminish who you are but reveals that you value individuality, people. Be blessed all.