It’s been awhile hasnt it? When was the last time I talked to you? You could say time flies, it’s been roughly a year. Remember when you felt alone and you thought you weren’t going to survive? Guess what? You’re here, stronger, smarter, loving, loved, humble.
I’m not going to lie to you, there’s times I thought you were going to give up. The darkness felt warm and comfortable for us. Yet, Father spoke to us, once again amidst the chaos. It’s funny, who would have though we would find love. After years, speaking such eloquent words and then out of the blue, searching within the waters, treasure was found. But even the most skilled sailors tread through rough waters and you were left ashore, wrecked and broken. But you healed. Were changed and grew, out of your narcissism, ego.
From your loss of the physical, you gained the ability to determine true value, work hard. From the loss of your spiritual, you learned the truth of the good, learning to discern what is right or wrong. Allowing God to reveal himself. From the loss of your mental and emotional state, you learned control and who you are. Learning what is truly love.
I look back at you, your reflection. I’m proud of you. You usually never like to reveal who you are, we are. You are scared of who we can become. It is true, we were a monster. We manipulated people, used them, believed them to be inferior. Yet just as I said, you “grew” up. And I’m saying this now, screaming it every night as anxiety and depression try to creep in. You are not your past. Forgive yourself. Move on.
God is changing you. Let him change you. You can do so much and the Lord will use you in so many ways. But you have to trust in yourself again. Learn to give love a chance in another as well. I know we are difficult, random, people truly dont understand but that is because we are not letting ourselves be understood. We are strange and unique. We love with our full hearts and never stop loving, even amidst the heart aches. We never truly forget which leads is to our states of mind.
Listen young one, I write this, just as you write to others to encourage and teach. You also need to listen. Listen to yourself. You are beautiful, handsome, smart, dedicated and filled with passion. Continue to grow as a man of God. Let him use you. I love you.