Busy, always busy. The excuses pile up, creating a wall that I learn to lean on whenever someone is trying to gain entrance. I remember I would repeatedly hate the idea of being “busy”. The reality is I’ve adjusted to such a notion with no real basis or reliable schedule.
I’m one to say I like having control, believe me, I do. Even with my OCD and with the amount of things I have “piled” up, I could hear the quote spoken to me once again that I read on Tumblr: “No one is truly busy, we make time for what we truly prioritize or love.”. We make time, I look strictly at my supposed schedule with new eyes. 8 a.m. get up and get ready for work. From then on I work til 5:30 p.m. Drive is typically an hour to and back. I get home and literally just write, though as of late it is more so poems or encouraging words on social media. I’ve taken a break again from schoolwork to find myself. Then I sleep at 2-3 a.m. and repeat with schedules shifting depending if I close. Podcast, school, writing and work.
I used to create series of articles in my head but more so, as of late, I just write whatever comes to mind. I will admit I feel “off” as of late. I’ve noticed that I’ve been making up too many excuses yet expect different results and that’s not good. I remember writing about how tired I felt, it seems to continue to the state I am now. That man who spoke with such a drive, now look at him.
Yet, it is in knowing something is wrong now that I know I need to change. It is just like those moments I speak about constantly. One day you notice something is wrong and you change. The reality or lesson I’m learning now is that life wasn’t truly meant to be routine. We live our lives now based on schedules instead of what allows us to truly live. I love to write and really would love for others to read the books I’m working on, finally complete them and get them read. I would love to finish school to finally say, Father, thank you for allowing me to finish.
God has been opening a lot of doors and guiding me to do his will, now I need to stop giving excuses and do it. Everything comes at its own time, this is true, but the thing is, you will never truly be ready. The moment you are waiting for will always be now. With a discerning heart and a wise mind, you could step into life and in turn run the race. Progress comes from hard work and application. Such it is that I will throw away my own notions of time in the sense that I believe I have any sort of control. Instead I will use my time wisely and ensure I use it for the things that our beneficial for me, do the will of my Father, and be around those I love. It is okay to take breaks at times but also don’t let it consume or distract you.
There are no more excuses. I shall live and love, letting who my Father is shaping me, to shine in this world. For as there’s time for everything so there is as well motivation to let time itself not master you, all shall fade in the end. My reach shall not be in what is temporary but to what is eternal and in this venture I know that God is allowing me to be present and truly cherish each moment.