Mirrored Love

​They never tell you that you fall in love with yourself. Now, let me explain before I’m told my narcissism is back in affect. My gaze was met by another and like precious gems, sparkling by a radiance of the light behind them, I could see my reflection. Oceans of emotions waving by as I stood naked, unafraid of who I saw in these deep eyes. Whispering words and as if asking, who’s the fairest of them all? Or why see me in such a way? Darkness seen upon such flat surfaces upon my own cast yet in her eyes I saw a version not defined by my present notion. What is such gaze followed by own? Details long forgotten and shaped into someone I no longer recognize. Interwoven and shaped as she was more than touching upon empty surfaces with textures of no soulful connections. Yet, she holds me in awe as I evolve and am held but that can only be spoken in understanding that I’m changed and seen as beautiful, an image I held but was forgotten and so I fell in love with myself, but it was the reflection of who I was reflecting.

Comparisons Drawn

It’s actually quite revealing to me what someone told me in the chat room for school. They stated that I appear more and more like C.S. Lewis. I was an atheist who began to research and turned theist. I researched countless practices and entered the occult/magick and was an initiate in the craft. From there, I tested the boundaries of true Christianity, from the historicity, prophecy and validity of not only scripture but secular accounts outside the bible. 

I became fascinated with getting to the bottom of this “God” character. Even amidst my trials and situations, I became closer to God and was revealed the truth. No matter what judgment was cast upon me by people. 

Now as the years progressed, as a writer, and biblical studies student, I can see the similarities between us. In his work, Mere Christianity, Lewis reveals his testimony and I can relate to his relationship with God and challenges of himself. It is truly remarkable how believers experience the Father, how the spirit manifests himself and how we come with humbled knees to our Lord and Savior.

Coming Together


Streets flooded and I see people posting it sharing pictures of the current events in Texas. People coming from across the country to help out or mostly from the state. I see some who claim to be Christian just recite or talk about sending prayers. It made me think about the condition of the church.

44 And all who believed were together and <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CA)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26982CA” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px;”>had all things in common. 45 And <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CB)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26983CB” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px;”>they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. 46 And day by day, <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CC)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26984CC” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px;”>attending the temple <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CD)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26984CD” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px;”>together and <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CE)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26984CE” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px;”>breaking bread in their homes, they received their food <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CF)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26984CF” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px;”>with glad and generous hearts, 47 praising God and <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CG)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26985CG” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; font-size: 0.625em;”>having favor with all the people. And the Lord <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CH)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26985CH” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; font-size: 0.625em;”>added to their number <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CI)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26985CI” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; font-size: 0.625em;”>day by day those who <span class="crossreference" data-link="(CJ)” data-cr=”#cen-ESV-26985CJ” style=”box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 0.625em; line-height: 22px; position: relative; vertical-align: top; top: 0px; font-size: 0.625em;”>were being saved. – Acts 2:44-47

The Church

Many people consider the church to just be a building but the church is much more than that. In scripture, the church is said to be the bride of Christ, or interpreted as such. (Ephesians 5:25-27). It is comprised of many parts, which can be seen as believers. Born again Christians who are followers and servants of Christ.

United

Now, with this clarification of what is the church the questions can then be answered, where is it, What has happened? I’ve been asked before, what denomination am I, which my response tends to be something along the lines of, I’m a born again, bible believing Christian. Some attest to a certain set of beliefs and separate themselves, while I believe these divisions are secondary, though I’ve been told I am rooted in reformed theology, though I say I am biblically rooted. 

The verses I posted of Acts shows a United body, a community of believers that apart all differences, shared a common one, Christ. Love thy neighbor. To truly love another as we love ourselves apart from any condition. The church, shared all that they had. And as I matured in the faith, I didn’t truly see that unification, honestly, amongst believers. Many complained about their status, level, position, or gossiped. The “church” I would go to seemed to be just what is seen now, a building. As soon as service ended, people went separate ways instead of growing with eachother. They seem to be brothers and sisters only under the watchful eyes of one another. Now, there may be, and are, some true bible believing/following churches, that reveal the characteristics of the bride, don’t get me wrong. But as well with recent events, why does the church only seen to spring in a major crisis?

I see it in social media a lot, many speak and say that, “My prayers go out” or “Lord will provide”, but as believers we are also called to action. Our lives are filled with faith but God also directs us to work for his kingdom. The call to go out, follow Christ, be an example, and to love. I’m not saying we “have” to drop all duties and head to Texas, due to recent events. In saying that, in any way we can help those in need and love. There may be some churches that gather supplies and donations, which you could contribute or even events. A little goes a long way. I usually always tell people about freerice.org, site where you can learn subjects and grow academically, while helping those in need. For every question you answer that is right, you gain ten grains of rice, 10 questions right, 100 grains and etc. A good hour and you help spread food to a country in need. 

We need to seriously get off our highhorses and help others. Be united and like minded. When I considered denominational concerns as secondary is as Paul describes with believers saying they were of “Steven” or even with Christ and followers of John. We must all come together under one banner, Christ, and love, truly love for God is love. 

Just wanted to give some food for thought as I see the things the world claims we are. We need to truly rise and correct. Teach true biblical truths, rebuke and reproach. Be the church of Christ and prepare for the wedding, as the bride, awaiting her Husband’s return. This is Gee_ology. Let’s go, boom! Be blessed all.

Sentence lifted


​Served up 25 to life. Broken plates dished over time. Prison of my mind. Felon guilty of his crimes. Signs to note pieces of the present 26 lines. Sentences compiled with letters under lights. Rights unfollowed in misdirection looking for what’s left. Pressed against bars sitting along the bench. Working out frustrations, pulling up sections. Lessons learned when the shadow was present. I can’t keep doing this on my own. Bring it to a close, showing me the end of the rope. But not hanging by, just play the chords. Heavenly melodies presented graciously. Pleasantly releasing me from depressive tendencies. Anxieties unchained by righteous sacrifice. Eyes no longer looking down raw at night.

Acting Upon Our Choices

Hmm…should I use this word here or that word there? Decisions, decisions, decisions. 

It’s funny really, how we look at the words we write and decide what word “works” best. We spend our time trying to get our points across as writers, bloggers, poets, and etc. Defined by our words it becomes more than descriptions of what we de but reveals an action and who we are.

I’m not the best, nor do I want to be considered the best writer, I just write. I’ve learned from my experiences and as I continue on in life how, not only in writing but in life, we over analyze things. We spend our time debating with ourselves about what we are going to do, say, eat and etc. Contrary to belief, it doesn’t matter what someone says, we care about what others say about us. The thing that sets us apart from others is our individuality, which in turn can help determine if we accept others opinions of us or we acknowledge it; know ourselves well enough that we ignore it and learn from it. 

I’m not a motivational speaker, my blog is not ranging in the 1000s of subscribers and I’m not pushing anyone to read my words by asking for emails. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying those that do have that are something or that it wouldn’t be nice to have people reading your work and waiting for your next post. What I’m trying to write is this, I know where I stand as a writer, where I am in life, now. I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not. 

I love to write, though my post count is nothing compared to the daily posts others push. I still manage to let myself bleed and find an escape, which is writing. I remember how a customer came into the store and asked me, since he learned I’m a writer, what it “takes”. I chuckled. I don’t have a fully published book under my name yet, though I’ve written one and compiled my ebook series awaiting thorough editing, even my collection of poems within a book. Yet I looked at him and told him, just write. Sounds weird doesn’t it, sounds like it is easy, but it isn’t. I told him you’re not an aspiring writer, you are a writer, you just need to break free from defeating yourself.

There is a kicker in what I’m writing. We over think things and in the end defeat ourselves. We become lost in trends or distractions, we see others doing something and because it works for them, we think it will work for us. I’ve found that I am still creating my “voice” or style. I don’t have years of writing under my belt, just a year. Yet I will rather write and be criticized so I could properly learn to improve. I can debate with myself about life but only when I decide to take the risk and do it will I see action and learn from the experience.

As of late, I’ve retreated again from social media as those who do read my posts can attest. It has really been an eye opener. After all the senseless posts I see or meaningless drevels, I find I am more myself away from that sort of environment. I’m clear headed. It can work for others but not for me so I purge it out od my life. 

People think my choices at times are extreme but it is because of what I’m saying now, we are our worst enemies. There may or may not be something better but don’t spend hours contemplating the “what ifs”, life is too short. Take the risk. But also understand, there is a difference with being rash and actually discerning, in a logical manner, and doing something. Learn who you are, become content with yourself, change what you feel needs to change, and then learn to move forward.

Be blessed.

Fight in Me

Seeking the assistance from these systems. 

Deliverance from my bleeding feelings. 

Vengeance beating my chest, hearing drums. 

Songs sung by passion shooting up guns. 

Triggered by thoughts passing me by in dissaray. 

Breaking waves as they sway through days, skies turning grey. 

Never closing my eyes to whispering darkness. 

Silent light made aware past senses

Find me here before wicked intentions take over. 

Fighting my reflection while remaining sober. 

The war in me.

Breathing Life

Breathe….

It seems I have to remind myself to breathe as of late. I’ve learned how easily it is to blame life. We spend our lives saying that “life” is hard. The reality is life is life, it flows and depending in what we experiencd within it, determines our view of it or perception.

I used to say that my life was always a struggle. I experienced many things that one’s head would turn or even walk the other way if they knew what I did. Yet I’ve learned that no matter what I do or have done, life goes on. Life goes on. Just saying that brings the reality of the world around you. How we follow vain pursuits and spend our lives.

This isnt to give hope or to teach something but to help people understand something, our life is short. Take time to see what you are truly living for. If it will all sink you to the bottom of the river of life or help you keep with the current. If you are just existing and not living.