Such beauty as the heavens. Diving the oceans of your eyes. Hold me in thought, where time is no more. Waves upon a weary soul soothed by your being. Shining surface of gold bestowed on the sands of our genesis. Calming fire engulfing me, keeping me ablaze. Reborn as supernova made a star coming alive. Escaping black holes of darkness seeking my destiny. Find me in orbit admiring grand design. An epic written in tales of old, now creating history. If I fade will I be a never-ending memory? Passing light I feel your warmth, bury me in your embrace. Keep me close and eternity shall greet us for you are home.
I found myself preaching to my employee, it was not something I intended but I just began to speak and give wisdom. She believes I have no emotion half the time but I was upfront with life. It is not that I have no emotions or am super quiet at times. I’m just observant. I prefer to do things or say things that are necessary. Sometimes I go off on rants but for the most part, when I speak, I intend to teach or give sound advice. But it went as follows:
Life isn’t really short, it is timed by people. We need to this or that, or so they say, by x amount of time. Yet time is but a fabricate of man to measure their existence or the chemical, structure, laws, in place in the universe as progression through decay or degradation, basic science. Things have a beginning and because of what is around, can cause it to end based on environment or make up. So then, why do we worry so much about this? Time.
We are always in a rush and in the end we all die. We waste our time on getting money only to see money fades away or is given to another. I’ve been at a place where I’ve had enough and I’ve experienced having nothing. For me, the true value is not what you spend time on but how. People and self growth, love, this is what truly is of value to me. I will not let my life be surrounded in a focus towards myself or how others can commit to me.
I am but a speck in this universe and though i know my time is not certain, I will not worry what i have left to do but truly just live life, here, now, and enjoy it with those who truly matter and what I love to do. I will not apologize for who I am and no one should either. That is why I know i live for God, for eternity. This Earth will fade and I have faith I will walk with him. He has shown me life everlasting, that is why I will endure this world for this is not my home. And I was made for so much more.
They wonder if I’m in love, if there’s someone else. Not knowing I’m writing to my future. Presenting these letters and poems, like baby, there’s nobody else. Like finally, I’ve met you and I will never leave you. Though we haven’t met yet. So when you were up on lonely nights, I was writing, telling you I was going to be here. Never leaving, so baby please dont Fear. My heart has been yearning this meeting. No longer needing to be dreaming. So keep me from feeling and teach me what’s pleasing. I want to lead you closer to God before I get to touch your being. I’ve been working on myself, running til you begin to run right next to me. So we reminisce in the weekends. Making promises in the present because they’re full of our presence. Let my loyalty now show you the evidence. Baby, I’m sorry I took so long. Let me lead to the King, you’re royalty. Our kingdom leaving history. I don’t want nobody else. If we fight, I’ll still take you in a ring. I am not who crossed you out because you are my treasure. So have courage because here I am speaking. There is nobody else. You are beautiful. Nobody else. My promise remains so lend me your heart. Sincerly, your future
Allow me to speak honestly, it’s going to be ok. I’m not referring to anyone but allowing myself to see the words on this screen as a reminder, to pound it into myself. You can experience all of these thoughts and feel many types of emotions but guess what, you made it every other day. What makes today different? What is going through your mind? Is not God always by your side?
Listen, no one is going to hold your hand and walk you through these things. Remember the nights you couldn’t sleep homeless? Remember the nights you had panic attacks? He was there, always. Friends came and helped you get through those things. Many people will come and go in life. Your life was never intended to be easy. To follow him, the call required you to die daily. It isn’t about you yet know that you are loved and cared for.
How many days must you contemplate about the future not seeing the present? Does not the wind still blow and the sun rise? Remove all notions and know that these problems or situations are but a passing of time and you live for eternity. You’re one of the few who understands true love in its truest essence. Why do you act as if the light is not on at times? For you shine within and there is no spotlight on you as if you needed to showcase who you are. Continue to be a light and example. It is not your job to prove who you are not, you have been given a new heart and way of thought. Let not your emotions control you.
Look at how far you’ve come, how far God has carried you. A mere boy lost in darkness to a man of good standing because of the life given. You are a king. Though you may feel discomfort in your mental, know that spiritually, you’re not alone. It can feel like you want to give up but what happens every time? New obstacles emerge and because of what you learned before, you sacrifice, grow, and push forward. You were made to lead.
Did you not ask for wisdom and to not only know love but embody love as your own? Times will change and that is good, with each season you will embrace the weather and continue to live. You are not destined to please men, set your thoughts on the things of your Father. It’s going to be ok. It’s ok to feel, it’s ok to not be or reach a certain point others have rreached already. You are running your own course and path. Keep hearing the call and running the race, for we Chase not after victory but in joy of life.
My heart has never felt tranquility. Bombarded by stings of pressure instilled by emotions. Compressed chest caved in by memories. Numb to the pain as trampled by many. Though my damage as well left scars on others. My past is not presented to be present or find future. Let my heart shine anew as a star reborn. Each pump strengthened as the repairs are made. Find me now holding it close, weary who may see its value. A treasure now hidden though shining as the scars open and seep on this paper. Deep wounds I have long forgotten or is it a desire to be touched? A warmth once again to be felt or will it be left in dust? Must the fire and Phoenix of my soul be born again to fuel the passions or desires? Will the wolf howl alone moonless nights seeking company to be full? Such questions though I’ve learned to be love and share love from the core. My joy is not found in another. Though these words reveal a tragedy my story continues. And so I continue in exodus until my revelation and find peace, maybe one day falling asleep and awakening to my Eve, but for now I continue following the King.
What are you really after? I ponder this question before every story or poem I write. It would seem to hold a significant weight on my chest. Even within the realm of Instagram where I post poems and quotes.
Let’s not sugar coat things, we all seek to be recognized is some way but the question remains, what are you after? Long hours “perfecting” a story or poem all so you can get some likes? A follow maybe? Is fame your goal? Or do you want to truly share your message, vision, and/or truth to the world?
A common thought crosses my mind every time I type, as an answer to those questions. I would like to be known but I don’t want to do it for selfish reasons. I prefer my stories to truly touch people and encourage them. You can really summarize my blog ultimately as an outlook on life and how I perceive the world but it really is a motivational one. I like helping people, helping them understand and find that they are not alone.
Don’t get me wrong in anything, I find a sense of pride when someone comments, likes or follows me because of something they read. But I also know that if I base my writing on likes or fame, it will distort my message or story. I find that I will gain an audience some way but writing isnt just to help people as well, but also a form of medication for myself. I write for me as well.
We can all joke and reminisce about having our books or stories published. Write about our struggles as writers on a daily basis and even fall into the stereotype of being a writer, but ultimately what are you chasing? What is that pull that keeps you writing? People may not even notice you because you’re not “famous” and as soon as you take off, you’ll see swarms of “fans”. Begin to write differently or in such a way that it offends the reader and you will get dropped. This is just how society has transformed over the years.
I’ve learned all of this since I first started writing about a year ago. I don’t become discouraged at what is happening or if I don’t “make” it. I still put in the hours and write, learning from my mistakes and perfecting the craft. To be able to give an emotion or imagery using words is a gift and is something truly beautiful. Never forget the reason you started and always remember, you arent racing, there really is no finish line. Write as if your work was meant for eternity and your story will be made history.
“Just act or be your age”. Wait, so you’re telling me I have to restrict myself or be at a certain standard because of a number? Maturity is not based on age. I know young kids who are mere teens pulling in weight to help their parents. I’ve seen grown adults acting like fools with not even an ounce of wisdom. You forget that there are grown adults producing the shows our kids watch, movies we become fascinated with. You thought it came from fairy godparents and that when you turn a certain number you’re “grown”. That I have to have 2 kids, own a house, and car while wasting my life in a 9 to 5, because I’m 26?
Times have changed, economy is a joke and what we considered tough times is now worse than before. You want to know what my age looks like? Working 8-20 hour shifts, taking school online, writing or finding means to improve so that I may become a well published author, balancing my time, and still having to survive in this world. You think we may have things easier or don’t know the stress we are in. You don’t know my age, nor my maturity, you want to measure it? Than know it is a different time. Yes I’ve been doing good for myself, but that is because I push on, I’ve been there, when you have nothing. I will not excuse my sarcastic self or my character. I am a nerd as well. You’ll catch me playing nerf at the park when I’m 80. Going to star wars movies at 50.
Maybe you need to help change or offer solid advice instead of stating something that you may not know about. We don’t have it easy and never confuse age with maturity. Maturity is how you properly can handle things in a well balanced way and yet none of us are perfect. There is a time and place for everything. It is true I needed to grow before but now knowing who I am, what I want, I am not defined by a number. Forever young in such a short existence, I live for eternity. Real talk.