Allow me to speak honestly, it’s going to be ok. I’m not referring to anyone but allowing myself to see the words on this screen as a reminder, to pound it into myself. You can experience all of these thoughts and feel many types of emotions but guess what, you made it every other day. What makes today different? What is going through your mind? Is not God always by your side?
Listen, no one is going to hold your hand and walk you through these things. Remember the nights you couldn’t sleep homeless? Remember the nights you had panic attacks? He was there, always. Friends came and helped you get through those things. Many people will come and go in life. Your life was never intended to be easy. To follow him, the call required you to die daily. It isn’t about you yet know that you are loved and cared for.
How many days must you contemplate about the future not seeing the present? Does not the wind still blow and the sun rise? Remove all notions and know that these problems or situations are but a passing of time and you live for eternity. You’re one of the few who understands true love in its truest essence. Why do you act as if the light is not on at times? For you shine within and there is no spotlight on you as if you needed to showcase who you are. Continue to be a light and example. It is not your job to prove who you are not, you have been given a new heart and way of thought. Let not your emotions control you.
Look at how far you’ve come, how far God has carried you. A mere boy lost in darkness to a man of good standing because of the life given. You are a king. Though you may feel discomfort in your mental, know that spiritually, you’re not alone. It can feel like you want to give up but what happens every time? New obstacles emerge and because of what you learned before, you sacrifice, grow, and push forward. You were made to lead.
Did you not ask for wisdom and to not only know love but embody love as your own? Times will change and that is good, with each season you will embrace the weather and continue to live. You are not destined to please men, set your thoughts on the things of your Father. It’s going to be ok. It’s ok to feel, it’s ok to not be or reach a certain point others have rreached already. You are running your own course and path. Keep hearing the call and running the race, for we Chase not after victory but in joy of life.