2 days. That’s all it took really. Past two days I’ve been having some serious back pain. This isn’t the first time I’ve had this pain though. Since my accident-car accident, my back has Never been the same. It would come in random spurts or when I would try to get into exercising hardcore or martial arts. Yet through it all, trying to be up at work, getting no sleep at all, everything has been an eye opener.
I’ve been finding myself slipping a bit from God. Recent events with friends, love, and life in general has completely rocked my world. It is a good thing I’ve gotten back into the groove of writing as I used to, since it is my therapy. But like I stated before, it only took 2 days. 2 days for me to notice where I was heading and it was because of my back hurting.
I usually have to stand about 8+ hours a day at work and when I had to use a chair for a majority of my shift, I felt myself crying out to God. This helped me snap awake to a lot of things that have been happening as well as the reality of why I was flat on the ground in worship. I’m not guaranteed health, financial status and etc, yet I still come before him in humbleness. I know he can remove this pain but my first words when I came before him was, “if this is a lesson as so I can see the burden of my emotions, physically, let it be your will, but truly if you can, lessen the pain so I may continue doing your will.” It helped me see how much of my life revolves around Him. The saying would ring out of what is behind that dollar, “In God We Trust”.
I’ve tried to honestly keep myself in a balance, enjoy some of the things I used to when yet God has transformed me and as well, is slowly having me focus on what is of Him. I probably am not the best example as a Christian but all I can say is that I ask the Spirit to renew my mind daily and allow me the wisdom, heart filled with love, and to truly reflect Christ.
I can live this life pursuing a sense of joy or happiness but truly I can only find it in God. Nothing else will equate to what he gives. Nothing.I can endlessly discuss my depression and anxiety, go into rants about the things I hate but truly what matters is Him, in the end. I could be like most people who seeks God when it benefits them but I’m not them. I’ve been successful, I’ve been poor, all that matters is Christ. To preach his word and lead others is just my calling and I wish to impart truth and love to all, regardless of what occurs in my life. I don’t know my future, my love life and etc but guess what? I will trust in Him and believe that he is preparing me to do His will. I trust in Him completely and I hope everyone who reads this, sees this as well. Regardless of what is transpiring in your life, He tells us to come to Him, he doesn’t just ask but commands and when we obey, our lives are forever changed and find the peace we seek.