Just Being Me

Breathe. It can seem simple, doesn’t it, allowing yourself to just pause for a moment and allow the air to fill your lungs. We don’t even notice it honestly. When was the last time you noticed You were breathing or even blinking for that matter? We think of it as nothing and yet never notice it unless made aware. Such it is with life, our own, we live and act life it is all not worth it, unless we are doing what we desire.

It’s not real. The world we have created within ourr own digital scope. I can’t remember the last time I had a full decent conversation without someone looking down at their phone. I am like that as well, looking for an artwork, my latest book idea, and etc. Even seeing the posts made before of people. You can’t actually smell, taste or experience it for yourself but we enjoy the 2 dimensional thumbnail as we scroll. We enjoy reading the status or posts. This is just how the world has transformed into, we can only blame ourselves for allowing the corporations to have done this to us.

I’m not writing to start a digital revolution or even create an awakening. I’ve been reflecting on the reason I write and why. I ask myself are my articles or posts even exciting? I’m not promoting myself in all these avenues or mediums and honestly, in my honest opinion, I don’t want to “engage” in what I’m recommnded to have my blog grow. I don’t need nor desire a big following. You liked what you read and wish to share it, I thank you, there really is no pressure. I am also not stupid and know that today isn’t like yesterday, change is necessary but I also will never become someone I am not.

There is the big revelation. I will not become someone I am not. For years I’ve debated with myself and have established a facade within my narcissism that discovering myself as of late reveals that j never truly knew myself. Imagine waking up and realizing you’ve been living someone else’s life or that you felt as if all was a dream. This is how I feel. Who I was or even what I did before, that wasn’t me, or better yet, it was who I know now, had to learn.

Life is what you make it to be and I’ve faced choices which will forever mark me. I cannot change them and though I value people I also value myself as well. I cannot force another to be a part of my life or see who I truly am now. But it isn’t my job to be accepted but simply to just be me. To enjoy who I am and share that with others not expecting a reaction, I should be proud of how far I’ve come. Time is in motion and I appreciate the little time I have now. So let’s face the music now and with complete honesty, I rather just be me, the me that God continues to shape.

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