New Year, New You?


We are quick to realize that the new year is just days away. With the approach we begin to develop or create new goals, plans, and etc, to help motivate us to a “new” person. I’ve seen countless magazines as I’m checking out in the lines of supermarkets. It seems that as people we are quick to want something new and very rarely are we actually accepting of change. 

We have all heard the saying, “If it’s broke….” And of course you can finish the rest. This may not be an attractive post but I feel that it is necessary. We always want something new but as well When the new year comes and the resolutions have all been said, why is it that so many fail to accomplish it? 

The reality I’ve come to notice is that people are not truly ready for change. If this is not the case then people are usually more keen to see the challenges with the “new” and retreat to what is comfortable. You want to get that beach bod? Put in the work. You want to write that book? Put in the work. Just because it is a new year, does not mean that everything will be handed to you or that things will be attracted to fit your needs. 

Something very important needs to be understood, we don’t need a new year to change. We don’t need to set goals at the beginning of the week or promise ourselves that tomorrow will be the day. Everything or essentially true change, begins the moment you know what you need to sacrifice and begin at that precise moment to implement what is necessary to attain what you have envisioned. 

I’ve always been very skeptical when someone announced that they were waiting for the new year or that next year was the year God was going to do great things. God is not measured by time as we are not determined to be who we are based on the time before us. We do not know time. We can measure it and may balance our lives because of it, but ultimately, we do not know the time we have left. 

I say this as one who continuously tries go motivate others to be a better version of themselves or to allow God to accomplish His will within us. You don’t need a new year. We forget that the waiting process is also a time for growth where we learn who we are and are capable of before we allow what we will engage, or who we will be involved with, is revealed. Be blessed and truly I speak from the heart. Be the change you wish to see. Gee_ology signing out.

Rejoicing In Christ or With?

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. 6 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:1-8 ESV)

Let us pause for a moment and truly read the verses above. 

From the title of this post you may already know what the subject will entail but I don’t think it is spoken about as often as it should. Rejoicing, finding joy, “being happy”, these are all terms we hear in the culture. Within the church the “positive” movement or consciousness has infiltrated the church with new age teachings. Though the terminology can seem as a right thing to abide or use, it is dangerous to say the least. 

Now, we hear various people throughout scripture talking about rejoicing in God or finding our joy in Him. Very loosely we have peeled some layers to include rejoicing or finding joy above anything else. We have introduced a sense of the ego in which we now seek happiness, instead of seeking holiness. Being happy is now worth more than being holy.  

From the Psalms, as well as the book of thessalonians, we read to rejoice always. But what many confuse is that joy comes from the peace of being with God. We don’t seek to be happy but to obey and love Him as He first loved us. There is a misconception when we speak about these words and the meanings people have now interpreted. Just as the danger with prosperity gospels, happiness, or positivity can truly leave one distraught when the reality hits you. Now sure, we can be realistic and not think negative all the time but for the most part we have been taught that whatever we think, we will attract. This is new age thinking at its finest, it is literally called the law of attraction. The Truth is, you don’t become what you surround yourself with or think but what you allow inside and allow to manifest from within.

I can discuss the occult and magick as if I was still studying and practicing but it doesn’t mean I am defined by it. Just as Paul studied what the Greeks believed so he could be better equipped and still vigorously preached Christ. Or better yet, Christ sitting amongst sinners and still being an example. Now it is true to be wary of what we have around us or allow inside us but also understand sin becomes sin when we beat fruit to our desires which go in contradiction to the will of God or intended nature.

I hope I didn’t throw things in a loop or out of your heads. I am trying to clarify a simple message, our joy is found in Christ. We will not be happy from the things of the world nor because we are no longer single, etc. No matter what we endure, our hope is in Christ and because of this we rejoice, knowing that everything else is vain apart from Him. 

I ask as someone who also asks himself this question, are you seeking Christ to be happy? Or are you happy because you are in Christ? Gee_ology out, be blessed.

Wishing Well

I wish with imaginations in blissful remembrance.

Reminiscing memories drifting past visions.

Regaining focus, living not in regret.

Benefits no longer compensation for desires wants.

My needs are not invested in pleasures dream.

Nightmare of days in streets, holding on to the king.

My doubts burn me in fear but God stands near.

Written love letter enveloped and delivered by Grace.

My faith is not change thrown to fountains.

Banked to save myself from the debts that pile as mountains.

My hope is not found by touching lamps but light.

Wishing well wishes with blessings as if it was magic.

But I wish not on blissful endeavors.

Kisses I wish I could relive.

People I wish were still around.

Though I wish the church could see the shape it’s in.

Completely uncovered sinner, naked in skin.

Broken mess that confesses with tongue untamed.

Honesty striking me as it bites those who oppose.

Learning to tame mind, body, and soul.

But my image is to bear and reflect you.

So why do I wish to be someone I am not?

Wishing for the cars, woman, and job.

Wishing wishes which will shape my being.

But I am not luck or a wish upon a star.

The shadows have seen it fall and now I come before God.

Oh God, forgive my wishes and let me humbly repent.

Acts or words as if miracles could be bought but bent.

Religion of tradition with cultural shifting as I was drifting.

Take me as I am and make me new.

If I wish may it be in your will.

If I wish, I wish with all my heart.

If I wish, I wish I will never part from you.

I wish to wish wishes which will reveal true intentions.

I wish to be as you intended. 

Acting Love

Let’s not throw dirt under the rug. Let’s put everything out there on the plate. It is better to be honest and lead by example than being seen as one who just talks the talk and even though you can’t physically see me, walk the walk.

I’m Christian, sorry to burst your bubble of you expected more or less. I honestly don’t have to apologize and I’m not going to “push” my beliefs on anyone. A lot of what I write will reflect my beliefs though. 

Now, to the topic at hand. I’ve been busy from  but for the most part, like I stated before, I’ve been reflecting my life. I can easily say that I’m Christian but the real question is, are my fruits beating the reality of what I claim to be?

Being a 26 year old male is not easy in this world. Guys are stereotyped and judges by our race or past. I’m Dominican and Chinese so I usually fall into the category of being a party animal, drunk, player/womanizer, or just reserved. Yet, I don’t fit into any of the occasional norms.

I’m still single since my last relationship which is coming to 2 years. I haven’t had sex in about that same allotted time and even though I’ve tried to be abstinent we all know as human beings, temptation can strike, like with pornography. I’m not a saint nor claim to be one. But I do know I rather not engage intimately with someone unless I’m in love and heading towards marriage. I honestly can’t do it anymore. The games or body hopping people do nowadays to what I used to do during my early years. I haven’t really had a huge body count (saying it creeps me out) but I do know I’ve only ever truly felt I was making love with one person out of the few. Let’s lay it out there, I’m a sex addict, an ex alcoholic, and unstable person who has the worst kind of OCD. As apart to most people with OCD, I have violent or sexual images pervade my mind along with the usual compulsive thoughts, cleanliness, ticks and etc. 

Now, when I say unbalanced I mean I can jump from being eccentric to completely shutting down on you. My emotions will be almost non-existent and it honestly bothers me. 

People think that as a Christian we are supposed to be these angelic people who are sin free now. Now, yes, Christ paid the penalty and the spirit is working within us to shape us in the image of Christ and we obey God; We also know that the flesh draws us to want to call prey to our desires.

I’ve reduced the amount of alcohol I consume to only special events and just enough to not allow myself to be tipsy. I’ve prayed and grown to see what affects my lust. I’ve also promised God I would be abstinent till marriage. Now I may be living what is perceived a celibate life now but I do so until I know I am ready to pursue or God allows me to see who he has prepared for me. At times we focus on waiting and not realizing God wants us to act and I intend to discern.

The reality is that the Christi an life is not easy. The world can influence us. The songs we listen to, shows we watch, people we are around. We can be a light in the darkness but remember with every storm the fire can be overcome if not covered sufficiently. 

I advise all my brothers and sisters in the faith as well as myself, when I look back at this post. Trust in God. Be led in love and let love be your guide, to love is the greatest of gifts and the ultimate sacrifice, to love is to act and in the act We reveal who we are and meant to be. God bless you all. Gee_ology out.


After a long two weeks of pushing my body to the limit, hearing screams and compliants, I made it, I’m alive.

Working retail is exactly what you hear about. Working management makes it seem tougher. Though I’m not like the managers people talk about, I still am considered the manager and I’m used to the backlash of employees and customers. 

I worked a consecutive 90+ hours one week and just finished the week before Christmas-which is Today-94 hours and not including Christmas eve.

Am I crazy? Is iy really worth it? The paycheck that I will see at the end of the week? I can’t really answer that but for the very first time I am exhausted. I’ve stated it before and I can’t believe it to be true but my body is actually slowing down. I’m used to doing things that push me to my limits and as my brain speeds up, my mental health getting better from depression and anxiety, my body is feeling the strain of all the years overworked.

It is a miracle that I made it through this year’s season. Being low on staff, hardly eating at all, sleeping 3-4 hours and working 12-21 hours a day. It also taught me something that has disappointed me and shifted my views about people today. We call it helladays at work.

People are truly consumed into materialism. I met some good people who understood how tired we were while others and mostly all other people, mind you-who were late shoppers-were completely numb to emotions. Christians who swear to representing the day to Christ would throw a fit because of lines at stores and many people who swear they are “good”, fueled by greed or anger. Then like a day after all shopping is said and done, when we get together with family, they forget. People who swear I ruined their Christmas because of the present they couldn’t get when outside of Christianity the view of Christmas is being around family and appreciating others we love, as a gift. 

But, of course, I’ll hear people say merry Christmas, the occasional texts. Which my response is always, “yea, you too”. The thing is, I still hold to everyday being the same. I don’t celebrate holidays and yes, I do see Christmas as a pagan holiday. Coming from the occult, I have seen all the dark roots of various traditions and shifts of rituals into our daily practices. In today’s world, new age consciousness has pervaded even the church and schools. 

But I can say something as well, I found myself thinking about what I truly am grateful. I’m embarrassed to say I’m grateful for certain things but for the most part, I’m happy I experienced them. For one, my niece has given me the fuel to keep going apart from God. Though I haven’t been as strong in the faith, I know I must trust in Him and continue to follow His path. I’ve let go of social media which based on who I am, it is a trap for depression and anxiety, a way for me to lose focus and so I detached from being “connected”. Though I can honestly say I’m not too fond of my job now, it has allowed me to break free from my insecurities and allowing me to talk to people without being afraid. My ex, though our differences, time and distance now, I can say I’m grateful and still hold her close in mind because I saw my flaws and grew as a man, the one she knew I could be and I’m still growing. 

Overall, this post is not only my account of the holidays but also, people in general. Though I may not hold your views, with the coming new year’s, life comes and goes. Be grateful of who you have and what you have, don’t let yourself become consumed by what the culture promotes or society. Gee_ology signing out, boom, let’s go!

Burn me alive

Burning fire, find me in reason of means thought forgotten. Why must this flame keep my heart ablaze? Sparks ignited by reminiscing passings days of old. Bring me clear focus to determine the cause. Find me at odds searching to what lifts me off balance. Endless mystery held by such a word or confusion has entered into my weary soul. Fingers interlocked once upon, with space increasing in present notions of time. Brushed surface beyond exterior complexions or expressions. Seek it thus, is not the promise eternal which I swore? As I grow, may I indeed be led and lead. May I once again say I have what is held. Consuming blaze, engulf me with breaths I have not forgotten. Warmed embrace, I speak as one with open heart laid to find solace. Keep me in infinite promise.

In Memory

They never tell you how short life is. Today my friend texted me and told me that R.C. Sproul died. Now personally I never knew the man but one thing is for certain is that, he impacted me tremendously in my life.

If you dont know by now, I consider myself a Christian apologist. I’ve delved into theological debates and even written articles about the Faith and God. Through my journey or research, I’ve found that there have been men and women that God has placed that have caused me to become inspired and truly learn from. 

With the amazing ability of the internet, though I may bash it at times, I’ve been blessed to hear and learn from many influential people. R.C. Sproul was one of those people and even now, I know his messages and expression of faith will impact many in the years to come. I pray sincerely that his family may draw closer and rejoice in knowing that he is with the Lord he served diligently for years, and if they feel sadness as I’m sure they do, may they be comforted. 

This brings me to the truth of the matter, time is truly so short. A lot can happen in a year and a day. We look back at times and notice that those who stood beside us No ponger are with us, even if they may not have passed in life, from our lives, they are no longer connected at times. This is why I say that in memory of all who are with us let us be truly grateful for those who are with us, never forget those who changed us and truly, let us understand that people are treasures that are greater than any of what we can gain that the Lord allows us to share with Him during our time on Earth.