I cannot fully recall how focused I was in finding a true sense of being loved. I’m not saying all of this because I’m in a relationship now or I’m thrown through every facet of love, confessing it to the world. Yesterday was Valentine’s day and beyond any notion I once held, I found myself drawn to the holiday that I once fought against.
It wasn’t for any particular reason really. I was not consumed by consumerism and that I “had” to get my girlfriend a gift-she isn’t even like that. I just was caught in the sense of what it means to truly spend time with someone.
After work, we hung out by getting something to eat, nothing extremely fancy and not even what people consider an “epic” date. It was more so, just peaceful. Time ceased to exist and for the most part, it was as we joke about, it felt like a scene from a movie.
I feel like we have lost the sense of what love or caring for someone actually means. We are quick to ask the questions, what will I gain from this, as if thr other person owes us. I spend my days fighting my anxiety when the questions arise, will I hurt her? But this is the biggest problem we face, we don’t know the outcome of any relationship or even in a broader spectrum, event.
We can spend years trying to figure out what “works” in marriages or for couples but everyone is different. Love cannot be measured or described to its entirety by human minds for we can only grab a glimpse of what love actually is. I can say that love has always been seen and defined by God, but to truly grasp that, one has to come to the revelation of Him.
I have spent a good portion of my life beating myself up about love, intimacy, caring, and etc. I sacrificed a lot but ultimately I saw that I was selfish. When it came down actually meeting someone I trusted and understood me to the minimalist of details, I truly opened up. This is where I am now, just another human being trying to act tough, be independent and unique when I am better off being weak in the sense that I am strong doing so, by showing emotions, by coming together not only with someone I care about but others, that in my uniqueness I can help others. To love and be loved is the greatest gift you can ever experience.
Don’t let a day or occasion define a moment or experience, don’t let commitments be drawn only by promises of a dated time. Love entirely or do not love at all. To love is not just what we have defined-infatuation, lust, sex-it transcends much more than this. Love by forgiving, love by changing, love by sacrificing, love by not only loving yourself but loving others as you would like to be loved, truly love and care.
I may sound like a broken record at times but I have learned in the few years I have on this planet, that love supersedes any amount of knowledge or wisdom I have gained. Gee_ology signing out.