Money Everywhere

“For the love of money leads to all kinds of evil….”

So the saying goes or as those who attend a church service, have heard throughout the years.

I’ve spent a good portion of my life fantasizing about winning it big. One day I would wake up and see myself rich. I even pushed myself to the point of exhaustion to try to hold to the idea of having money. Yet even now, I know it all to be just dreams.

Money. The green paper or various colors now lined by digits on screens. I marveled at the ideas presented by others who showed favor in gaining a new status by acquiring such wealth. I envied people at times who had what I felt I could not have. I watched as I clocked in the same hours and pushed myself to work harder only to feel ‘stuck’.

For those that have followed me since the beginning of this blog know I was homeless before. I was a teenager who knew his family was not rich. I was also one who became homeless. This in turn sparked a sense of hard work and a drive to never reach that state ever again. Now here I am.

I am not rich now. I clock in still, working a 9 to 5. Still living pay check to paycheck as some say and unlike those people I feel fortunate, I had to pick up the position of bringing in the “bread” in the household. I laugh when people would tell me that their parents kicked them out or helped them get to college. Though I do keep it to myself. I never had those luxuries. I remember working 60-90 hours and even still trying to help my family get by. Some can say it was not my responsibility. That I sacrificed my schooling, relationships, and etc because of it all. While people would flaunt money or waste it on things they wanted, I struggled to get what we needed. Still fantasizing about one day having enough so that my parents would never have to worry, all bills paid on time, finally go back to school. I remember days having no light or water on in the house. All because money.

I have a love and hate relationship with money.

Even with knowing I am content with or without it now, I know it is needed at the moment in where I live, to properly live. I still dream about one day winning big. Maybe one day a book I write will bring in thousands. Maybe I will one day laugh and look back and act like celebrities who came from nothing as well. But the truth is, I am someone, money doesn’t define me.

I won’t allow myself to forget who I am and what I can do based on what I earn or how I can earn it. I think we forget that it can all pass in a moments notice. To me the greatest of treasures is love, genuine, unconditional love. People. Moments. Talents and gifts bestowed.

Though we continue on in this world and hopefully I could one day say I have no more bills or debt. I know that I work not to rack in the dough but because I care and am willing to provide. I do work smarter not harder but let us take into consideration that times are hard now. In the U.S. the cost of living compared to the wages is almost a joke. People have to almost take on 80 hours a week just to get by today. But just as times get tough we need to remember how to properly use money and not let money use us. We are not born to be slaves to this system. We are not numbers made to clock in and sort balances or create mkre debt. We take hold of our finances and learn to properly manage. Let us do so because money isn’t bad, the love of it just leads us to ruin. That’s just what I believe, Gee_ology signing out.

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