Tracing the patterns of most what most people would never consider. Though these patterns are far more than organized waves of touch, feelings, or thoughts that have manifested into action, I could see them all clearly. Life.
I cannot fully explain what has transpired in my life as of late. I recently had to go to the emergency room because of an increase in my blood pressure getting too dangerous levels. I’m not Kansas anymore. My body is not the same as it was before. I could feel it with every passing day and even the amount of stress I place on myself. This past year alone I’ve been having heart palpitations and problems. It would seem that all my years of little to no rest, the pressure of overworking, and etc are finally catching up to me.
I’ve never been one to fully look back and just want to relax. I’m used to always doing something, writing, painting, planning, working, etc. Now it would seem that I have to begin to slow things down. Upon this sudden outlook and with the dangers of my health, I’ve begun to really look at life in a different way. I never understood the complexities of the smallest of details that one could miss.
I was standing in my girlfriend’s Mom’s restaurant and I saw the dirt on the wall. I would think nothing of this before but then I saw the fingerprint imprinted. I began to wonder about what hand placed it, where did they get the dirt, who painted the wall, who built the wall. I started seeing how everything comes about and comes together like a puzzle. Everything seems to fit in such a way without even trying. We try so hard to think we don’t affect each other, but we do. Each action is like a domino and eventually, it affects someone. One day I will die and I look back now and wonder, what legacy am I leaving behind, what story? Will it matter a thousand years from now? I want to be able to curve my name in history and let my stories live on for years. I want my worlds to mix and come alive into this one. The same way so many books have become a part of my life, I want to reach the hearts of kids, parents, men, and woman. I need to see the puzzle pieces of my words come together in this life. If I am to pass in this life, let my words be my last parting gift, the missing puzzle piece.