Take a deep breath….exhale.
You’re ok….everything will be ok…
Feel better? No? Well, just know that’s it ok to not feel better. The truth is that there will be many times where things don’t go your way.
28 years. This is the amounted time I’ve been on this beautiful, marble-like planet. In this short but filled life, I’ve encountered many things, one of those things is patience.
For someone who struggles with OCD, you would think that patience is far from me. People can say things like, “Don’t let your anxiety get the best of you, get better”, which I just give them the ” look”. You can’t just suddenly wish away my OCD, (I’ve tried).
Life does give you lemons and guess what, sometimes it won’t turn to lemonade. People forget the sad truth that life is not made to revolve around us. We can work out a goal or plan for the future but change and sacrifice is an added feature to our life. That long list of Mr. Right or Mrs. Perfect, expect someone with flaws. New car? It’ll break down eventually and etc. This is not to bring negativity but we focus now way too much on the positive, and forget to grow by learning from the “bad”.
I’ve honestly seen people follow all these ways to have a successful life, future, relationship, and etc. We are told to abide by these lists but guess what, everyone is different and so are the situations presented. We can gain insight and maneuver based upon what could be but it will never mean it will be. It isn’t a paradox what I’m trying to convey.
I’m seeing my life from different perspectives as of late. I’m nearing my 30s. People would say that I should have a white picket fence with a dog, kids and a wife by now. But guess what? I don’t.
My life has been through many rough patches, I am just now trying to once again go to college, I work a job I’m not too fond of, I’m in a relationship but I’m not seeking marriage any time soon and that isn’t even on my radar, not kids. I’m just living my life and following my dreams/goals. I want to be a writer and let’s be honest to those who are authors, it is tough.
I’m not writing this post to complain or whine. What I’m stating is that no matter the lemons I have, it doesn’t have to be all bad, it is about what you do with them, your perception. I don’t regret my past nor the choices I’ve made. I have a set goal in mind now and guess what, again, something may disrupt that, that’s life. The key is to overcome and never give up.
The past is the past and though there may be things that can never truly disappear (my OCD), life moves on. Relationships are built on trust, respect, love, time, and etc and it is a huge risk but we still commit. School can be tons of money flushed in the toilet, so to speak, but we learn and get a degree. Etc, etc.
In the end, we need to evaluate why are we doing these things, will it matter in the future, what about now? Reflect on these things but not to the point of pure anguish and anxiety. Life is a constant flow and when we learn to flow with the current, we will begin to see the beauty and enjoy the ride.