We look out to the stars to answer the questions from deep within, as they reveal a light from amidst the darkness. The questions that plague us and cause us to stumble. The chemical imbalance that has ravaged many and been seen as demons in the past. It is a marvel to me how so much has changed in the past and how we perceive many things today. We are but humans. We are frail and with fault. I’ve seen that many people have struggled to look for answers. I’ve seen people “find” religion or some being that they can find their meaning of life. What drives men and women to look out and forget what it is that they can find within? Why is it that we forget to look out to others for help? The reality is that we are not alone in this world nor should we be experiencing it in such a way.
Life is quite an adventure. We are met with such wondrous tales that we cannot fully comprehend. We meet amazing people and experience so many things that sets our own story apart from another. We build on foundations that either crumble or will hold over time. It isn’t a mystery why the greatest of philosophers, speakers, writers, and etc would write some elaborate tales or try to depict life. I’ve researched and experienced many things in my short life. The experiences have been good and bad, some even a complete wreck that completely changed me. Even as I write this and am slowly rebuilding who I am, I always fallback to a simple mindset, happiness is not something you find but something you make of life.
I am not the best at fully expressing my emotions to others. I tend to push other people away in fact. Yet, I know now that as I mature, it isn’t a simple matter of just letting myself heal and cope with the situations that presents themselves. I venture to many different thoughts and emotions, my OCD causing me to storm and rage inside. I once thought that many people wouldn’t be able to comprehend what I was going through. I would write about it as the time would pass. I remember a lot of things. These memories, the moments, the emotions, they all surface when I stop and think about everything. It all comes as a flood and I begin to realize that I have escaped this feeling before. I know that I am not defined by the present moment or the state I am in and that ultimately I can, in fact, create a life of happiness.
I don’t have as much experience as most people who I read about or even quote. I can say that I love helping others, people would never really believe I am like that. I am not very empathetic with people on the surface but I do have a caring heart. I’ve seen so much happen to people and I want to be able to show them that they don’t have to go through it alone. But what exactly am I talking about now? Is it about not going through life alone, what are the answers? It is simple, breathe.
I remember the words on the very first date I had with my girlfriend. No one had just stopped me short and told me to just relax, breathe. It was weird, it was like a calming voice was heard for the very first time. I have had people tell me to relax or to not let my OCD fully define me. I let myself think that I could control who I am and what I do by ignoring needing help or medications before. The reality is that no matter how strong I think I am, I am not as strong as I appear. We think it is not “manly” enough to say such things. It is good to keep a mystery and show strength but that comes at the reflection of what we are capable of carrying. No man ever made it to where they were by themselves, don’t let anyone else tell you that. Even if you work your butt off, commit to YOUR goals, there were others who inspired you and helped push you forward.
What I can say as my final thoughts upon this entry is this, breathe and know that though your time may not be now, it will all be ok. It isn’t the end of the world yet. We do not know when the end will be but for now, though we live and die, everything we do inbetween is defined by the choices we make. Let us continue to move on, together.