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Spending hours in front of a screen designing your character, it has to be perfect. We look and take the best pictures, it has to be perfect. We then establish a persona to identify who we are to the digital world. But what is our avatar to the real world?

I’ve had people tell me, I need to be like that, i need to be like you. I’ve had people that just because I speak about the woman I love in such a way, they believe me to be the best boyfriend. I may appear as the best of friends to others. Wise. Funny. Confident. The list goes on. The truth of the matter is, my avatar is only a portion of who I truly am.

I used to never want to take a picture of myself. My Facebook profile would reflect something funny or something that interests me. This, in fact, goes to just everything in the digital world. To others, I may appear mysterious and controlled. But i am nowhere near perfection. Just as others struggles, so do I. I don’t have the perfect relationship, I sure as hell don’t believe I’m the perfect boyfriend. I’m not even the greatest of a friend (just ask the people I forget to text back until days later). The reality we see is not really what we portray.

I have a strong belief that social media has vastly changed the way we present ourselves. We filter out who we are, puns intended, on snap chat or Instagram. We post what we would love the world to see. When it comes to who we are in person, we do our best to still seem like those people. People usually come up to me and say, you’re so quiet, wise, cautious, but I can attest that my girlfriend hears me crack a dad joke from time to time. The question we must ask ourselves is simple, who are we portraying?

I remember watching Jumanji and the high schoolers transforming into these avatars and learning that it is who we are in the inside that counts. This is true in all scenarios. But as well, once we accept who we are, we begin to love who we are and if truly we want to change who it is we portray, then we do so. The reality is being comfortable in your own skin, this is what I believe when people say to love yourself.

Now, I’ve also seen people display avatars with titles, they continue to want to be seen in a way so they allow their words as well to define them. The problem I see with that is that truth reveals itself with action. You say you love someone, time and action will show. Who do you run to when you receive good news? Who truly has your heart? And it goes on to many other factors of life. Your stats read underneath of your avatar on your bio can only be seen as true when your life truly shows it.

Life isn’t made of up of pixels and contrary to belief, this isn’t a simulation we can shut off. Even if it was, we live it, day in and day out. We can alter who we are but ultimately it isn’t about becoming someone else but finding one’s self. Let go that you have to look the coolest, be the bravest, be tough. It’s ok if you are a romantic if you’re mysterious, and etc. As long as you know who you are and what you want to change, because you want to not because you feel the need to because of others. Let your avatar being a reflection of your truest self.


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