My Time Is My Own

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Life is like an ocean, ever so beautiful, reflecting the warm hues or causing us to be enthralled by the tones of blue.

I let the drops of water bounce of my skin. There are times when it feels like I could feel every drop in the shower. I don’t know what it is about the water that causes me to get into a reflective mood. I remember reading about how, if one lasts long in a warm shower, they are usually lonely. I chuckled at the notion.

It is painfully obvious at times how I am for the most part, appear to be an introvert. There really isn’t any surprise, while the reality is, I am an ambivert.

Ambiverts are people who hold to both characteristics of being an extrovert, someone who doesn’t mind being around others, highly enthusiastic, etc. Introvert, more so reserved and needing to recharge after a long day of being “out”.

This all, of course, is just my simple summary.

I had a pretty interesting, yet long, day.

Now, still being awake at 5:28 a.m. eastern time, I write. It isn’t the first time that I can’t sleep nor will it be the last. My new job has me getting home around 12-1 am so it isn’t something odd either. Yet, everything seems to be different as of late. I feel I need more time to recharge than I did before.

Being an ambivert, I am well aware that I share some attributes but as well, I lean more to my introverted side more than the extroverted. I’ve noticed that I quite enjoy more of my “alone” time. I hardly have those anymore the more I experience life. Reading a good book, writing another poem or story, even cleaning, cooking, etc. It’s funny how before I would always preach about how I loved video games and would find time to play in the future all I want. Nowadays, I can’t play for more than 2-3 hours without wanting to do something else. Even just finding the time to play is troubling.

Now, don’t get me wrong, gamers, I still enjoy a few good games out there (castlevania and assassin’s creed)

But, lately, I find that I understand more than ever what it truly means to “grow up”. Not in the sense that I don’t do what I used to do as a kid or that I have more responsibilities. I feel it is more so in learning to prioritize what really matters in life. Before I used to think that spending hours watching anime, playing video games was ideal. Though, I can binge watch a good show, I find that I have to take a break and do something else in shorter spurts than before.

It really is odd. One day you just wake up and you are 8 years old, watching shows on wb, saturday cartoons in the morning (yes, showing my age now), to 18, graduating high school, to now, 28 writing another entry in my blog.

I can say this, it isn’t wrong to do what you love. This is what I am trying to write about today. I feel like the reality about growing up isn’t about age or what you do or don’t do. I feel that growing up is being who you are comfortable being and not caring what others think about you. For me, give me some tea, coffee, a good book, music, and etc, and I will be content. I can do the same watching a nice movie, writing, and etc. Let me recharge and go back to tackling the world.

So then the question arises, who are you growing to be or better yet, who have you grown to be?

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