I AM…Jesus

Title could seem like I am proposing so me sort of hypocrisy. What happened to Gee_ology? Did he finally lose it and think of himself as divine? No, on the contrary, I love presenting people with who Jesus is. 

Now I have touched upon these topics before. My blog doesn’t just consist of stories or articles about my life, but as those of you who have been reading since the beginning know, I’m an apologist. I also am a biblical studies/theology student, a Christian. These topics would arrive and flow from my heart to help understand.

Now, I have had people discuss or preach to me a false Christ. They have learned to pick and choose verses to try to disprove the divinity of Christ, yet let us allow scripture to speak for itself. Let the sword speak and the word manifest.

But about the Son, he says: “God is your throne forever and ever, and the scepter of your Kingdom is the scepter of uprightness. And: “At the beginning, O Lord, you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the works of your hands. (Hebrews 1:8-10, ref. Psalm 102:25-27 speaking of Jehovah, Yahweh. Father speaking and declaring the Son as the creator) Now they may say to me, ‘What is His name?’ What shall I say to them?” (Exodus 3:13) “God said to Moses, ‘I AM WHO I AM’; and He said, ‘Thus you shall say to the sons of Israel, “I AM has sent me to you” (Exodus 3:14) ‘I tell you the truth,’ Jesus answered, ‘before Abraham was born, I am…’ (John 8:56–59) I AM the Bread of Life (John 6:35, 41, 48, 51); I AM the Light of the World (John 8:12); I AM the Door of the Sheep (John 10:7, 9); I AM the Good Shepherd (John 10:11,14); I AM the Resurrection and the Life (John 11:25); I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life (John 14:6); and I AM the True Vine (John 15:1, 5) and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. (Isaiah 9:6)

Now I could keep going on. I could even associate how the spirit, yet I felt compelled to write this more so to help those in the faith come to clear understanding. I’m Christianity we don’t simply just say Jesus is God, no, we believe and know him to be. Just as scholars can reveal that the early church proclaimed him as Lord and saviour. 

Bring Me Close

Blackest soul, darkest tone. Riding the river styx, paying the token to charon. Broken, unspoken promises soaking in oceans. Moments revealing potent omens. Interwoven frozen heart with focus choking. Hoping to transcend beyond ends. Escaping sentences of prisons. Prisms in metrical means to measure rulers. Ruling to G-O, monopolies in policies. atrocities construed to breed hostilities in futures. Sooner is marked in treason with reason. Apart, not a part of the world, restoring pieces. Speak to me…Jesus. Give me hope amongst such times. Radiance amongst stars, eternal sign. Let the light shine, I’m yours…bring me close…

Followers and Servants of Christ

Christians, In name only?

​I’ve heard and seen it many times before; “Christian” is a title so loosely used. Given to identify many, though few can reveal its meaning. One where hypocrisy follows suit while it is not so and many other Gospels are promoted or taught but is not of God. The reality is the man who claims to be Christian, proud in himself as to forget others, is but a man who professes but is not of Christ. It is more than attending churches or having the title. Sitting in a garage does not make you a car. Biblically speaking, if we were to compare Christianity as it is labeled and seen, many would fall short to its standard. But what can be said of a Christian, is he not one who believes and follows Christ? To solely say one believes in him, God, is not enough. On the contrary, belief in God does not mean one is saved or born again.

Under Laws?

So then many ask what should be done and I shall say as scripture reveals, we ultimately do nothing for in and by Christ we have been saved. Yet, the commandments are seen, to love God and love thy neighbor. In loving God we are known by God, to love God means we obey him. One can try to dissuade and claim we must abide to the requirements of the old law but in Christ the law has passed but it does not mean that it has lost its values. The laws were made to help his people at the time but because of Christ we now abide under him. Just because we are not bond by the laws does not give us excuse to sin. 

Loving Others

In loving our neighbor, it comes with the heart of God bestowed unto us. The true Christian loves without condition or for gain but is willing to sacrifice and give to his brother or sister. We are able to bear one another and rebuke, bringing others back from their sin as members of the body and bride of Christ. Not inflated by our egos because we are his chosen people nor to allow the things of this world to separate us from He who is enough. 

New Creation

The Christian has denied himself and carries his cross. Tossing away his old notions and repenting, he begins to allow the Spirit to work within him and change him to the image of Christ; Being a light bearer and witness to the glory of God. He is able to defend his beliefs with love and humility, though tested. He has become a new creation and given a heart of flesh not of stone. 

Strengthened in Christ

The Christian acts not religious but knows traditions followed to give worship to the Father. He is not weak but is given strength by the Spirit. As he as well knows, he does not require the happiness sought in this world but finds joy in Christ. Though he knows as well that tribulations may arise and his nature may cause moments of brokenness, the Lord calls and restores. He boasts not in himself but in the Lord who he gives all praise. As one who can say or call himself, Christian, I speak as to not have people think I am the standing marker. I am but a man and speak or write with the same words directed and taught in scripture. To live is Christ and die is gain. Thus, we are born again.

In Christ

I want to live in such a way that it matters not how much I have done, nor my appearance to appear luminous before the numerous accounts that stretch behind me. I care not for fancy titles nor degrees trying to measure my existence by means of losing myself to pipe dreams. Investing my time to a sentence invented and projected so that success is accepted only by the paychecks or investments. Save my number only in death. To date and reveal the steps taken to overcome the challenges I’ve faced. I long not to live day by day but I know I have no control in what tomorrow may hold. The ease and tolerance we have allowed as the world is now degrading from its evolution we have stopped the race. I will overturn and become counter cultural. I follow my king to death’s door because I know he has mastered it. Let me speak in peace only to bring war and forgive me if I do not chase after happiness. My life is not my own. And as I reflect on the choices I’ve made and those I love, I see now that I am truly born again, though I am told that today I am 26. I want to live and in so doing I want the world to know, I am a light. Be blessed and know that I shall walk alongside Christ for in him….is life.

God Restored


​It wasn’t in seeing the historicity of the church, the prophetic working coming to fruition, nor in being raised in a Christian household. My revelation derived from seeing the darkness and Satan, evil in its purest form, embodied within and those I surrounded myself with. 

The light found me in the darkest of places and love in those moments I hated the world and myself. In my brokenness, I was restored. I did nothing, I did not “find” God, instead, he came for me and that in itself is a testament as to why I lay down my life daily.

Consistently, Deeply Rooted

Done, I finish writing. Closing my laptop I continue to hear the tv in the background. I grab my phone and move on towards scrolling down news feeds. The only sounds around me is the tv so I allow my phone to play music. I open up contacts and text my best friend. As I wait for replies I flip through channels and turn on the 3ds. I stop abruptly, a quote catches my eye as I’m scrolling, 

“writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t want to do something else.” – Gloria Steilman 

I remember a verse from scripture now. 

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” (John 15:4). 

What am I doing? The thought plagues me all day and now I write.

Distractions. We are surrounded by them but what I never truly considered was consistency. My friends know me to be the “funny” guy. I make puns, am literally and like to joke around. People know me as the conspiracy theorist and so on. But there is a list, I’ve heard it before, I’m an extremist but as well what I now see it as, is I’m not really consistent. 

I jump around topics, go off in a tangent, and it would seem, that even apart from my narcissistic tendencies I have escaped from, I’m still getting a hold of who I am. I’m fighting with myself more than I could handle. Days I am motivational and others I allow my depression or anxiety to take hold, though I hold to my sanity. I would always believe it to be multi tasking when in fact I was never deeply rooted.

I like to put on a lot for myself, not realizing that the weight is heavy. I’ve slowly begun noticing the triggers to my OCD. In turn, I’ve changed a few things about me. One key thing is knowing I cant really ne in control of my future, no matter what I do. In this sense, as well, I’ve reduced what I swore I should be doing. 

I have found myself being so busy that in reality I am doing so much that in reality, I’m doing nothing at all. I tend to lose sight of things, being bombarded by so much going on and trying to follow it. And so the verse from scripture was ringing into my ears. How much or for how long have I said I will abide in God but truly just place it as another side project. Like some of my writing, where I take parts of my time but never really dwelling deeply within. 

I come to realize that being extreme or random is truly not beneficial. Consistency is truly of value. To have a mind that wanders or always open it reveals there is no ground or true foundation. I need to rest and reside with a firm standing, deeply rooted so that I may not stumble or fall. It is not about being a mystery to others nor seeming like I’m crazy. I truly wish to show others that I lead by example. That I teach love, truth, and have a firm understanding. Deeply rooted in God, will be consistent and focus on the task at hand; taking the necessary steps, one at a time, to climb.

To Victory

My life is of no concern; if I do not speak upon matters which now shape this fallen world. Ever passing thoughts of the victims created by my actions or choices. Why should I bask and boast upon such atrocities? Engulfed by the wickedness which we try to escape, to bring about freedom. Lest I try to excuse my faults, conviction is drawn, removing the mask so well placed that I hid behind, before. Find me not at rest but sword in hand to arrive at war. Lead me to truth O merciful Lord, guided by grace and reason, I fall on knees to serve. Wretched life made anew by a sacrifice, dealing the penalty that was for my own. Disclose my heart, entrusting my lessons to reach wandering souls. Eternal promise made just, continue in hope. My worth of no value, yet made rich and with purpose within your embrace. Cast me not away but may I find rest upon my last breath. Til then, lead me to victory.