Category Archives: christianity

In Memory

They never tell you how short life is. Today my friend texted me and told me that R.C. Sproul died. Now personally I never knew the man but one thing is for certain is that, he impacted me tremendously in my life.

If you dont know by now, I consider myself a Christian apologist. I’ve delved into theological debates and even written articles about the Faith and God. Through my journey or research, I’ve found that there have been men and women that God has placed that have caused me to become inspired and truly learn from. 

With the amazing ability of the internet, though I may bash it at times, I’ve been blessed to hear and learn from many influential people. R.C. Sproul was one of those people and even now, I know his messages and expression of faith will impact many in the years to come. I pray sincerely that his family may draw closer and rejoice in knowing that he is with the Lord he served diligently for years, and if they feel sadness as I’m sure they do, may they be comforted. 

This brings me to the truth of the matter, time is truly so short. A lot can happen in a year and a day. We look back at times and notice that those who stood beside us No ponger are with us, even if they may not have passed in life, from our lives, they are no longer connected at times. This is why I say that in memory of all who are with us let us be truly grateful for those who are with us, never forget those who changed us and truly, let us understand that people are treasures that are greater than any of what we can gain that the Lord allows us to share with Him during our time on Earth.

Words in Action

“It’s easier said than done.”

We hear the constant words drilled into our heads, being built with firm foundations. The master builder or the creator himself giving shape to the people we are meant to be if we all Him to.

What comes to mind, words and action. 

I’ve been at a loss and quite frankly, perplexed at my role as an individual in society. I feel “lost”. It is like I don’t fit in the norm or even what many describe as the “culture”. Now sure, I can have some stereotypes, I’m Asian so I love anime, I’m Dominican so I like bachata, and etc. Beyond that, there is more that meets the eye. 

I don’t know how many times I will say it, I prefer that I stand out but as well, as of late, I feel some anxiety coming in. I haven’t been on social media for some time now and wonder how my friends are. Though I could text them, it seems that, just like me, we only text when it is convenient. I find myself hearing people talk about things happening in the world and I’m also out of it. I don’t watch t.v. nor pay mind to mainstream news (I’m a truther, remember, what you may call a conspiracy but). Through it all it has got me to think about my choices in life.

I’m usually one of those people who contemplates and reflects his choices and yet I know God is telling me to trust in him. The reality is, I tend to instill my ego and pride. I am good at getting things done or ignoring what I feel, which causes me to be cold.

I am literally writing from my tub and letting the water hit me while I write this on my phone(waterproof casing). I got home from another long shift and time seems to be speeding up. My life seems to be going nowhere fast and I ask myself, maybe I should be doing something bigger right now.

Should I have already had 3 books, my blog with thousands of followers, people commenting, podcast with tons of downloads, and etc by now?

I’m good at saying things like, “Be Present” but we are left with these questions. I ask myself this a lot, are we truly present? 

I come to God with an open heart asking what is His will. Every time I think I know, it ends up being my own desires that ultimately fail me. What will change? What is there to change? Am I allowing myself to be changed? These are all questions that pound into my head. For the first time in a long time, I do feel lost and alone. 

I feel like an outcast. I don’t blink of I get zero reads or views on articles since this has transitioned to a journal as well. When I write, I feel escape and a sense of relief from this world. I ultimately wake up and am appalled by how society has become warped. Yet here I am, voicing my own opinions through the best way I know how, writing. 

This all may seem like a jumbled up array of words compiled to make sense. I mean am I supposed to write a detailed post with pictures and funny sentences, maybe a gif, to keep the reader entertained? Or am I truly supposed to write and let my soul paint the picture with words, allowing my own story, notions, or feelings come to pass. I feel limited by following guidelines. Trust me, I’ve read at least a hundred on starting a blog or bringing in an audience. It’s just that, I feel like if I was to do all that, I would lose myself, My style.

I’m not famous. I’m not like everyone else. I’m a 26 year old man that believes in true love while being single. I’m a blogger/writer/poet that hasn’t gone to college or honestly, dropped out. I haven’t the faintest clue in my next steps other than doing God’s will. I know I will continue to write, motivate, inspire, and though I have certain goals, I cannot allow my life to be plagued by anxiety anymore. 

Call me what you will but I refuse to be a lost boy who never grows up, fascinated by the world. So then in turn I’m not lost, just like Tolkien quoted, “Not all who wander are lost”. I will not be captivated and be a zombie looking down on his phone all the time. I will not waste my time doing things I consider unproductive. I want to truly change the world and if I am an outcast then it is true what Jesus said, I am not from this world and if the world hated Him, then it will hate me too. I rather stand for what I believe and be built on form foundations.

Driving Force

Don’t worry I’m alive. I haven’t written in 4 days Which is odd for me. I typically write or post every 2 days now. Please don’t be mad *bows in forgiveness*. 

I’ve been working like crazy these past few days. I haven’t had a day off til today and a good chunk of that is taken off due to podcast day. But as well, I worked a 20 hour shift Sunday and just got off another 15 hour shift. *drumroll* I’m not dead.

I’ve rarely felt exhaustion. Usually people tell me I’m an Android and I don’t rest but surprise surprise, I can feel my body ache, I feel myself tired. It’s funny, I never thought I would see the day.

My brother posted a pic similar to the one above, to express how he felt after he learned I passed out when I got home on Sunday; only to sleep 3 hours and head back to work. Everyone wonders why I push myself and though it may seem I voice my opinion strongly, I am just honest. 

The reality is that I’ve been in the dumps-Not the actual place- where I am mentally, physically, and spiritual broke, used, work out. Fighting depression has never been easy. Having OCD is not something to boast about as well. Anxiety is even worst in my opinion. Now mash that all up and you have me. Yet, none of this reveals that I endured being homeless in the past.

I will not allow myself to reach a point in my life where I am struggling and Don’t know where to turn. I don’t believe in giving up nor in just letting life pass me by. There are things I still need to do and places to go. Now I’m not saying that this is what happens with homeless people. What I’m saying is, is that I know what drives me.

God, family, my goals. It is in this exact order and if I’m blessed enough to find my significant other, then she will be considered family but above a bit (maybe she’s reading this *laughs*). God has instilled a drive to do everything as if I was doing it for Him. My family is my treasure and I’ve learned that no riches can compare. Last, my goals of being a writer and speaker/teacher to help/teach others who struggle in life. 

I say it many times that my focus is clear now. I may lose vision at times or it might be blurred but I know that God will guide me. I can be tired and know that this job as a manager is not something to die over. I know I would be replaced but as well I am a hard worker. I’ve learned the value not only in things, people, but also myself. 

I will continue to smile and be driven by the force that allows me to grow as a man. To lead others to come to a similar mindset and truly grow as people. It is never about having no time but what drives us to keep going, for me they are what I stayed because I’ve learned that without these, everything else is vain. I ask then, what drives you?

Call from God

The call from God, the Gospel, though it is good news, is not to live comfortably and conformed to that of the world. When we are impacted with truth we are radically altered and drawn to repentance. Within this change we begin to drastically change who we are and what we used to do. 

A changed life is the reflection of such an experience. Everything else is a mere attempt to show the appearance. You cannot say you are of one or the other without your life revealing your true intentions or beliefs. Truth cannot be hidden and always comes to light. This is why a person is changed in such a way and many ponder to what occurred. Yet let it not be mistaken, the change is first triggered by God. 

Man cannot save himself and no matter what he does, he remains imperfect unless there is a mediator which is Christ. What follows after salvation and repentance always entails love, obedience and a firm relationship with the Father. To be Born Again is this what many may call foolish yet no man can understand it unless revealed. Keep strong in the faith and do not falter. Though we may fail, our rest and hope shall always be placed in God.

Truth in Life


Now I speak from a Christian point of view. Truth can be shaken and stirred but it will ultimately never mix with lies. Half truths are still lies in the end. Such it is when discussing subjects. 

Many may hold to a relative truth but it is a truth based on feeling, opinion or experience within the perception of another. Truth is dealt in absolutes. Though perceptions may differ, truth is derived upon the full study of a subject to reach the conclusion, not taken in parts to benefit our own understanding. Take a can and bottle of coke. Give an item each to 2 different people in a different space. Tell each that coke comes in that standard. When the two people come together and recite what they know they will say that coke comes in one way or the other. Yet we know as the observers that coke comes in both formats. 

Now people assume that this applies to religion or even science. Lots of people either claim that God is the same in all religions but appears differently. This of course cannot be the case as the God of Christianity stands apart from the rest as being the sole creator of all where no beginning of Himself came about but preexistent and omnipotent. As Well, some claim different beliefs within religion and uphold to religious standards and formulate their own idea of God. Mormons, seventh day Adventists and etc that all come from teachings of Freemasonry with different approaches or understanding. 

In science we see that laws are placed in the world with order and one cannot simply negate the truth or validity of how the world works. Yet people still try to base science as philosophical as to, why it exists. Within the search or truth of truth, so to speak, we see many things that are brought to the attention of man. We have morality, what is good and What is evil. We have established a firm judgment based on culture and as well, beliefs of the people, in majority. If, for the most part, a nation is part of a certain religion, then the laws will derive upon the system. Yet it is key to note that in some cases it is not the case. We have America where it was said to have been founded by Christian principles but in reality the founding father’s were theists, freemasons and etc, with a clear notion that all beliefs were to be respected. 

Respect doesn’t mean that you accept but that you allow without stirring any division. I can respect your choice to Not read this post but I also wish you would. It is like when someone approaches me and tells me they are gay and I will still respect them as a person but doesn’t mean I follow the same mentality and am also gay. I hope you catch my drift on this. 

Now, back to truth. Ultimately, truth is meant to be searched, taught, and explained. It is never really as vague as people claim it is. Truth is apparent and the evidence shall always support it. I can say Christianity is the Truth, but then that is an absolute statement and will or must be tested. If all variables prove it to be so, then it will be. This is why I’m apologetics we try to bring to light the lights or error in beliefs and present truth. 

Now, I’m not saying Christianity has its perfect standard, other than Christ. Because Christians do indeed stumble. We are not saints and we still do get tempted. We’re human still being shaped by God to bear Christ’s image. It is now considered a religion by most when in reality a relationship in where the Spirit dwells within, the Son is the mediator to the Father, is established. There are false sects and even division because some people want to perceive things differently and at times, some discussions will be had. You may believe in pre trib, post trib and etc. Yet the foundation holds when you can properly hold to scripture, there is one God and We have all sinned, because of this, God himself, because no man can save himself, came to set us free and because of this, in repentance and turning back to Him, we are redeemed only through Him, for a just God shall declare a righteous judgment. But then of course we have some who disagree and try to dissaude others to believe their own notions. Ex: God is not trinity, there are three God’s so Christianity is false, jesus never existed and etc.

I usually like to see truth as a science experiment. I theorize, experiment, test and make a conclusion. Truth doesn’t change but our perception does or we become aware to the reality. What is important is to take time to properly seek and not dismiss because another says so, invest serious time and don’t be afraid to doubt or get into debates. In the end, if it is true, it shall not cause you to stumble. Gee_ology out.

Being Christian

You’re not a typical Christian. Believe it or not, this is what I hear or read when I talk to various people. My response is usually a question which is, how is a Christian supposed it be? People usually respond with something they have heard or read once somewhere but never truly what is completely revealed in scripture, by my experience. 
We’re in the holiday seasons now. This all indicates the same questions get asked of me: why don’t you celebrate holidays? See it is something to take note by what Paul described about observing days, as well as food (Galatians 4:8-10) (Colossians 2:16). For myself, it is just a day, another day to be thankful for as well as another day that is of the Lord’s. It is good that people take the time and prepare, etc on a certain day in commemeration or celebration, but don’t let it ensnare you as well. Usually what I see is that after the day, people turn away from God or grow distant as if they accomplished their task. This is all as Christians, those in the faith.

I get asked as well in regards to holidays being pagan and believe me from doing massive amounts of research, mostly all are pagan holidays. Scripture does say to beware and not follow in the same customs or traditions as the pagan. (Jeremiah 10:1-4) (Deuteronomy 12:29-32) But also understand as Paul describes in Romans 14, “it is to each of his conscience, conviced in his mind, giving glory to the Lord” some will be “weak” in the faith and see certain things differently, it is not our job to judge as he describes. Reality is, you will see most professing Christians celebrating holidays, but I cannot stop them, only teach what scripture shares. For myself, I see it all for God. 

Now this also comes to shock to some by how I live. I enjoy music, love anything that inspires me and encourages me, speaks truth and etc. I’ve heard debates about people saying that I can’t listen to secular music. It is interesting when they say stuff like this. I remember a comment on Lecrae’s recent album, a guys claimed Lecrae sold out because he said Jesus 3 times in his album. I laughed for a moment and then followed by explaining the references to scripture, the context, as well as using music or your talent for the direction to lead and encourage others. That is the calling and command, to sing psalms and hymns, songs to one another, help one another as well use your gifts and give him glory. While I can enjoy an artist using his/her gifts, given by God. Now of course I will not entertain anything that will tempt me into temptation or allow me to bask in sin.

The reality is we have misunderstood when scripture says, “Do everything for the glory of God”. We wake up, brush our teeth, work and etc, and we hear pastors or “Christians” say things like, you have to do this or that to really be Christian. Christianity is not religion but a relationship with God. We do everything, true, and in all we do it is to glorify Him. It is the manner or attitude we do it, not to prove something but truly our fruits shall bear witness. How we love people, how we speak and what we do. When we are spouting judgment or act like we are rebuking let us first rebuke ourselves and check our intentions. Is it really to help someone truly in sin or to reveal we are “holier than thou”. 

I actually get that a lot, for example when I am discuss music as well as words. I’m a writer. I can use words in its proper context and yet people become heated saying to watch my mouth. Which I then correct by saying that their response in such a tone and even intention was what was in error. Take for example saying something like, “Damn, Satan, why do you tempt me?” People would go eyes buldged like he said the word damn. They would say I was a hypocrite and that I am lost and etc. But notice their response, claiming I am lost or judging me, it is good to correct but then again, are you following religion or God? Obedience is necessary, true, but as well, let us come to reason in maturity as well. Words used correctly and incorrectly have a big impact. Jesus would state the gravity of certain things, looking at anothers wife and etc. Such it can be with words as well, for what purpose or what meaning does it fall under?

Being Christian is, in reality, not intended to be easy. We are imperfect people and Yet we rejoice in Christ, born again and are transformed daily by the Spirit. There are moments of doubt and at rimes where we fail but Christ’s finish work rests upon the promise of the Spirit residing in us. With the substitute being himself he has allowed us to come before the Father and have a relationship, to know and be known by God. So yes, I’m not your “typical Christian”. I believe strongly in following the word and abiding to His truth, allowing the Spirit to change me and bear the image of Christ. What I do can be seen and what I say can be heard but if I fall short I know it is made complete and finished in He who died for me. His resurrection superseding death and allowing me life anew, because of this I go unto the world and recite the Gospel, create disciples and teach. I was raised in the church but was not a Christian til my heart was convicted, I was not a Christian til I repented and was Born Again, with the Spirit making me His temple. If I speak now it is being bold in He who I give all glory. Be blessed all.

From Within

You grin slyly as you make up the perfect status. You go back and forth debating if you want to add a picture or not but when you do, you decide to add it on Snapchat or Instagram with clever hashtags. You’ve become a pro at it in actuality and so you await the responses or noticifications in wait. 

Sounds familiar? Maybe it does or maybe it is something we commonly hear about, see, hate, etc. It is for one something that spiraled into my life and now reflecting about it all I stand amazed how idiotic it all was. You hear the stories about how people cyberstalk or some people share similar friends and at times you just find yourself on someones page, wherever, and see a preview into their lives. For the most part we can’t see behind the smiles or the pictures, the words posted and etc, yet we draw out own conclusions, don’t we?

I was extremely good at manipulating people. The words I used and the actions I committed allowed me to have a response for the most part towards people. I remember it as clear as day, even looking as a spectator at my past, I used people. The questions then arose, as of late whenever I seemed to encounter an ex in social media, when I used it, or someone from my past that was significant in my life surfaced. I would occasionally tell others I posted whatever came to mind but a sick joke played out, I partially told half truths.

How are you supposed to react? We’re told we are to hate those who held our hearts and only think about ourselves. Show the other person that we’ve grown and are different. It’s funny, what the world considers normal for the most part, I detest. I cannot hate the people in the past, each person was a lesson and allowed me to grow. Yet, amidst it all, I saw that what I would post or reveal was not of good intent, for the most part, a good sum. I wanted to capture an attention instead of being true to myself.

I’m 26 now, I’ve much to learn still and as well I have learned a significant amount in my life. It is better to speak honestly and reveal what is within, in its purest of forms, rather than succumb to a false identity. I have nothing to prove to anyone. God knows me for who I am and what I write or how I act truly reveal my heart. I’m not a saint and though young, I have fully dedicated my life to God. Be it what it may become in the future, I’m satisfied in knowing the choices I am making now will allow me to grow and I don’t regret the past. 

I usually tell my friends I am cursed, my best friends know that if I love, I love for life. I cannot explain it really, I just know that I don’t have room to hate anyone. I can’t. I can be angry for a moment but I cannot hold to the state of mind for long. Everything truly comes from within. Who we are and what we aspire is led by what overflows. For me it is God and His love now fills me so in turn I am shifting in mindset. I don’t need the common trends or the culture that is promoted in the world. Do I have to post about positivity all the time? Discuss the problems of the world 24/7 or even politics to get views or likes? Must I post pictures of having “fun” only to be seen as living life? Of course not, I’m already living life and to the fullest in Christ. 

It amazes me when people ask about my past and now I openly discuss it as if they would understand. From studying magick to discussing my research in the occult, conspiracies and etc. I share my testimony in light to help people become enlightened to the dangers of it all. I genuinely now speak from the heart and that is what has to be understood. We think we are using logic or even fancy tricks, do this and you can get this but why not just be purely yourself and whoever accepts you, will walk besides you.

I honestly don’t know what will happen to my blog in a year or so, as it is written in the about me, this is my views of life and how I experience it. I do intend to motivate others and share my stories, poems and etc but as well, it is all a revelation that we are each human beings and feel. It is ultimately my purpose to answer my calling, call to others and lead in what way I can, it is to help people. Look within yourself and ask yourself the simple question, why do you do things, look within and from within, let your light shine.