Category Archives: christianity

Choices In Fate

We’ve heard the sayings ringing out like a choir performing an epic verse to a song, “If it’s meant to be, it will be” or even, “whatever is yours will find its way to you.”. The believers of fate proclaiming that fate drives us all to a predestined plan set in motion since the beginning of time. Others, who hold to a kore skeptical belief, swear we make our own destiny and fate, choosing the choices we make in life.

I will be honest in stating that I used to believe in fate. There were moments when I believed in luck but as my years have advanced, I know that for the most part, we choose our choices and life. Now this does not mean I’m a skeptical to a grand plan set by God. I have stated it before that I am a believer. I just know that things don’t just happen or that. Now sure, I can say that God has a plan for me and I can abide in His will, I also know I can choose to follow my own path.

I was recently discussing this with my girlfriend about how we can say that it was “fate” but in the reality is, we never truly know. I could have chosen 20 different paths or choices that would have had me working somewhere else or not even being able to meet her, for instance. I am not defined by where I am now but ultimately where I choose to be or do.

Ive heard and seen people get depressed or become anxious because they have stated that they are fated for greatness, everyone wants to be a star and yet never realize their own potential or limitations. Not everyone will be an entrepreneur, unlike what society teaches now. People are a collective that each, individually, come together to help us all come as a whole to what we call society. People that bag pur food, collect trash, teach our children, help maintain electricity to the city and etc.

I believe that fate is not essentially what the movies or people have claimed it to be. I feel like fate is but a word only when it is used in focus of the self, placing yourself as the god of your own world, an idol. Now I do believe, God will place certain people and situations but ultimately it is our choice to decide what we do when presented, this is in no way associated with salvation but in life. I still hold to the reformed mindset that we are saved by grace through faith but that faith is given to us when our hearts are opened, but this is my understanding of scripture. As the rest goes, I feel like we lose focus of the grand scheme, it is not about us, let fate to and live your life to the fullest and you will find the life that have pictured wouof be destiny.

Each Breath

You never truly notice each breath you take. Now sure, you reading this, start to count and observe each passing breath. The air that fills your lungs or escapes your body continues without your full attention.

Let’s step back for a moment and begin to see the intricacy of life. Without all the weighted perception or distractions thrown at us, we see the complexity. With all of this said, life shows us that even without our full focus, it continues.

I’ve tried to mask my feelings before in a variety of ways, work, art, and etc. Amidst the turmoil I would either ignore, push to the side, or try to disregard, until I was ready to face them, life would continue. This whole realization that each passing breath was more than my body functioning as intended, I saw it as the reality, we are truly alive.

It shouldn’t come as a shock, we are born, do this or that, you can insert a blank, life doesn’t stop because someone dies. Each breath reveals the struggles we’ve overcome, the happiness we have felt, and etc. We are in fact surviving and growing.

If I told you I could remember the details of every find memory to the minimalist of details, you would think I’m crazy. I know some people who quickly respond, “Lucius, don’t waste your breath.”. I tend to try to use as much of the life I’ve been given to help reshape the world. Even recording an episode from the podcast, talking about peace, I would breath knowing I am here, now, alive, so why not use the best of my time.

We truly don’t know when it’s going to be the last breath we take. We don’t know the last breath before a big switch will happen in our lives. All we know is that people who learn to control their breathing, find that they could push through further. Now I’m writing all of this using parables. First thing a boxer, runner, and etc learn is to control your breathing, if not, you will tire easily. This can be seen with everything about life. Life is not measured by how much it “throws” at you but your perception to it based on the truth seen or tested and guess what, within all of that, we are ourselves are tested.

We are told that life is like running a race. What is causing you to be out of breath, what causes difficulty to breathe, what can be drawn from the air around us? Learn to breathe and with every breath you take, know it is a gift. Remember, breathe, everything will be ok. God is the life giver and he allows us to breathe. Take in every breath and keep going.

Keep Me

Worrying which wish will weather weathers, we will wrestle with wondering worth. Greatest gift graciously given. Speaking seasons sweetly seasoned shown seeping seeds spoken. High Holy hands helping helpless humans. I will never excuse this vision or where I step. Escaping death while my faith takes tests. My God is the light of my life. New sights no longer held by time. Keep me eternal, keep me close. Keep me from losing my worth, losing my soul. Without you there is no reason for being. Allow me to reflect and bear the image of Jesus. And though you keep me company, lead me to your will. A woman so invested in you that I won’t slip from spills. I don’t need a power trip, my vacation is not found in external bliss. Keep me and lead me in your ways. Passing past pastures purposely pursuing purpose. Crossing crosses crossed, crucified Christ, creating creations. I fear God, no man. I’m thankful for another day, under your grace. The sacrifice you made, humbled and blessed. It is all for your name. Keep me.

Changed Life

There comes a point in your life when you realize you aren’t OK. It’s actually a mystery to me, even though it continuously happens to me. It isn’t really any self discovery or hidden, profound vision revealed. You just know, everything around you, who you are, it feels out of place. The reality is we are scared of change.

I’m a 26 year old man. I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I prefer not to drink anymore or entertain drugs, I don’t party, consider myself Christian and even with my mental unstable tendencies, I’m genuinely happy, apart from a usual episode. One could stereotype me though I fall into no category, a wild card. A Dominican who’s also Asian. I myself have always longed for control. I would talk about the past to reveal my place in the present, as if that gained me the right to manipulate others and build my own future.

I honestly don’t know what tomorrow will hold. I’ve lost friends and lived past dreams I once thought would be seen reality. 26 years, wow, it makes you wonder. Time flies past us so quick. We worry about days and yet when we blink it is as if the problems of yesterday don’t compare to today’s. We get so caught up wanting some things to stay the same that we don’t grow. I could say that I’m living on borrowed time, I once believed I wasn’t going to see 25. Yet time is not mine to have or hold. Time comes and goes and when we can’t move alongside it, we become stuck. This is one of the biggest inspirations of my book, Kairos.

There will always be moments in our lives that define us but they do not determine the outcome. My past will never dictate who I am today. This is something God has revealed to me. Change is necessary, change will hurt. When you finally get up off that couch and find purpose. We always say we don’t do it for others but ourselves, I’m here to tell you that’s not all true. “3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

As I sat down and watched the episodes of the Flash and Black Lightning, something triggered within me again. These heroes we see on tv, though fantasy, hold a significant message, it is more than just us. True love breeds sacrifice.

We can be selfish and indulge in what we truly desire, we can long for what, who we truly want but is it what we need? There are times where we learn our self worth, I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m saying it isn’t enough. We will constantly fail. We can chase after grand things, be famous people, reminisce memories, but we will come to realize the truth. Change is not some grand transformation, it is living, truly being alive. Being unafraid of what you truly feel, finding you need to put in those extra hours to feed your kids and not go clubbing, it is dropping that bottle to see the damage your doing and embracing the pain to grow, it is ultimately facing reality and surviving.

I could recommend some fancy words or a ten step program, I could give you motivational books, I could also tell you that you need to find the answers yourself. The truth is, we are lost and need a guide. I could tell you I found true change in God, even if mocked or seen as foolish. But from all the theories and notions of who I envisioned and claimed I changed into, I was never truly changed til I saw my life was being wasted apart from Him. I cannot ultimately tell everyone what to do in life, all I know is we are scared to change, even if we claim we’re transcending, evolving, we are just returning to our nature which is of a sinful one, one where death reigns. For me, I rather change because I know life is more than this or myself.

You Are Gold.

Don’t fear failure. You can always desire for the results or focus on the outcome. What you forget is what or how you will get to where you want to be. Learn and embrace your mistakes, your failure, because then you will truly grow. There will be many times you fall but guess what? You shall rise again as scripture speaks about, that a righteous man can fall seven times but rises again (Proverbs 24:16).

Your faith is in the certainty of who God is making you to be, not who you are already, you’re a work in progress. “Authentic faith is not believing in God but believing God. Taking God and His word and obediently following Him, Regardless of the outcome…”- Art Azurdia.

Remember that though you participate in this world set your mind in what is above. Remember His promises and know that you have been set apart, loved, and led to a new life, in Him, with Him, through Him, for Him. God allows you to grow by burning and building on your weaknesses, testing your faith like gold through fire (1 Peter 1:7). Jesus said, “It is finished”, as well as saying, “follow me”, trust in God and grow as you live, work and let your faith be built on a firm foundation. You are gold.

Proof Beyond Reason

Might have briefly mentioned this before but I am a co-host of a podcast. We just started doing Facebook live and got more engaged in the social media spectrum. Yes, I know, those of you may be wondering how can I involve myself more if I’m not that fond of it.

Truth of the matter is that we are in a new age and as long as you don’t become addicted to it or focus specifically on the brand, pride, you are good. Our mission is to tackle or discuss topics that are not really spoken about in the church, culture, and etc. We of course use a biblical worldview but in the end our message is to share the Gospel and help others get closer to God.

You can check us out on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and soon we will have our own website. Come and join us. Proof Beyond Reason.

Held by Grace

Even if the night arrives I know you light my world. Tales of old turned to epics. Your story has interwoven to my own. My life once centered in ego now has broken hold and found comfort in your embrace. Such grace I will never fully fathom. Constant thought of such emotions breaking sounds of silence. Words I keep allowing to flow in waves. Find me in poetry, humbled by your name. Held by grace.

I’m Ready

“I was born ready! ”

We have all heard or said that quote. Amidst countless of reasons we present a state in which we believe we can overcome or endure.  Now what usually happens is that things may not turn out the way we envision.  Nonetheless, we are prepared,  even if we may not fully agree.  

My life has taken quite a turn, from being troubled by my depression and anxiety, to God fully taking control,  once again.  I honestly feel good and my mindset has shifted. 

I tend to discuss a shifting or a change that occurs in us.  I’ve learned through this recent transformation that I held to the notion in which most of us hold to, “better me”. Sometimes we tend to believe that attaining something, being someone,  or even being with someone will change us,  make us better. What if I was to tell you that no matter what is on this green Earth we won’t be a better version of ourselves. 

Before you grab the pitchforks and hunt me down, hear me out.  I hold to a biblical worldview,  I’m Christian so I hope that comes across clearly to those who do not know me or my writing.  All this being said, we are not perfect  nor should we ever cling to the idea of perfection, if it isn’t Christ. We are all sinners and because of our nature, sin entering us,  nothing we do or say, have,  will alter this.  Paul spoke about it in scripture, apart from God,  we will fail,  and only God can save /change us. 

God wants us to be image bearers.  When the Holy Spirit enters us and dwells within,  we begin to bear the fruits,  reflecting Christ. We are given a new heart and a new spirit.  Things we did or how we are, radically alters and just as He is holy,  we pursue to be it as well. 

We’ve tried it already, we worked for x amount of years, graduated college, acheieved that goal, started a diet,  but did it really change who we are? It might have changed an outcome or surrounding but ultimately did it change us. The problem we haven’t realized is that true change is internal, it is a soul and heart change,  our perceptions and that in turn breeds true transformation. 

I’ve seen people discuss how they will go on a diet and then fail within a week.  I’ve seen people struggle with pornography for years. What needs to happen is a true heart shifting and mentality.  This I’ve learned can only be done by God. Now I’m not saying it isn’t possible for anyone to truly change. We have it in us to change but without He who is life,  it becomes a vain, egocentric pursuit. We will preach about what we did and etc.  You will hear motivational people discuss that you need to be a better you, while still developing a plan that may have worked for them but does not benefit you.  We each have our own path to follow and purpose. 

So then I’ve come to realize that I am truly ready now.  Before I was my own limitation,  I was in the way.  It doesn’t mean that I will stop being myself but that I will be who I was intended on being.  It is by the grace of God through faith in Jesus that I am alive and completely different than who I was.  I could have and should have been dead long ago, in my trespasses of sin and so forth. So as a way to help others understand this I challenge everyone who reads this to see where their heart is,  are you really ready for change or will you continuously hold to being born ready,  still waiting to be a “better” you. 

His Will

Trickling sound of rain and the wind hitting my window keep me in constant thought. The choices I’ve made keep me in a constant state of depression. Yet, amidst the storms that pound my mental, I remain anchored. God has never left me.

We tend to forget why we started our career choices, why we moved, why we even said what we did. To make matter more complex, we completely forget what truly brought us to salvation and why we continue in the race. 

For a believer, we remember the day we got saved and can even come to share our testimony but then what follows next can lead us in different paths of not careful. We’re used to hearing of obstacles or what Satan can do. We can be ensnared to follow religion and be under rules, regulations, for our course. Yet through all of this, the biggest obstacle I’ve found is ourselves.

When you stop letting yourself get in between what God has planned for you, you will then grow. You think you know what’s right and you can debate if you do something for yourself or God. Understand that in all you do or who you are becoming, it should be for His glory, not your own. You are blessed with gifts and many will acknowledge or praise you, but the direction you lead should always point to Him, if you are truly a believer. The heart issue is resolved when He is your center and he has given you a new heart which reflects His own; when you radically destroy the ego, the self and come humbly before God.

I think that is something I speak about or reiterate from time to time. Something I need pounded into my head til I fully trust God as well.

It is easier said than done, to love for God. Yet, we’re not told of the persecution, the hate and etc, that follows. For if they did not accept Him who died for us, what more will follow those who worship Him? 

We can enter the mediums of entertainment, different industries to attain a level which is promoted in the world. Just as I can blog and be on a podcast but the real question arises, what is the purpose? We can say as writers that writing is an escape and I find myself at fault to this. But and this is huge, what are you trying to escape? Lucius, what or who are you trying to escape from? Did not God make all things new and put to death your sins? Why must you continuously forget or think you can do what you already could not without God?

After all of this I’m reminded that as I come humbly to Him in repentance, my heart yearns to truly do His will. He speaks to me, the Spirit revealing scripture. Trust in Him, that He shall give me the words, He will give me a new mind, but ultimately I must let Him. I get in the way, my ego. This is why Christ calls us to die daily and so the call continues to be made, to carry out cross and follow Him.

Being A Man


I’ve heard it all before. The questions arising as if I’m seeking the answers once again. Before it all may sound confusing I’m talking about being a man. 

Some can ask me, “Did I really do it, crack the code?”. There isn’t a “code” to be cracked. The common issue I’ve come to realize that has plagued us men is that we have allowed the world to define who we are.

God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Gen. 1:27)

In Genesis, God reveals to us that He made man in his image. We’ve been allowed to embody the same characteristics of God; To feel, love, and etc. Some can argue and say we were not completely human as we ate from the tree, allowing us to know good and evil. Reality is, the dire consequence of that moment bred sin, evil into the world, our connection to walk with God lost, that is til Jesus. 

From as early as I can remember, I’ve been told that I wouldn’t be a man until x reasons. Until I was able to drive, drink, had sex, was 18, could vote, had a job, bought a car, bought a house, had a family, and etc. As I grew, I kept checking off the qualifications and always asked myself the simple question, am I a man? 

People can tell me that they know when, yet again, They hold to what someone defined for them. It isn’t like one day we wake up and say, “Hey, I’m no longer a boy!”. Puberty can hit us and still, people will say that girls mature faster. In my life I had to mature dramatically due to being homeless and the effects of my choices, the street life and etc. So then does all of that qualifies me as being a man? No. Does being 26 years old guarantee I’m a man? No.

Throughout my years I’ve seen that being a man can only truly be determined by 3 things. Who we are in Christ, who we are to ourselves, and to others.

Now some can debate and dismiss this notion that we are determined by who we are in Christ, I am Christian of course, so a non believer will simply say that their manhood is not defined by a fantasy. Yet to my point, Christ, who was a man that lived and breathed, historically was said to have lived a blameless, perfect life, so even if one does not believe in his divinity, can still come to the realization that he is the standard we are to meet. For those in the faith, Christ is not only the example we follow but also the God who shaped us in his image, to reflect who He is. 

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” (Psalm 1:1-3)

Our hope is not only found in Christ but our manhood. Christ has foreseen who we are and has set us out to tend to His work, to obey and live the godly life.

“Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.” (Gen. 2:15)

When it comes to who we are to ourselves it is about learning self-love as well being honest with oneself. It is easy to try to go to the gym or even put in work for a new look, car, etc. But why do you do those things? Do we lie to ourselves to attain something and if so, would it truly benefit is or help inflate our ego? To know who we are is to learn to respect ourselves as much as others. Sex will not make you a man, No matter how many females you do it with. Being in a relationship or getting married won’t either. To learn your flaws, work on them and improve, this is what allows us to grow. We are not perfect and when we learn to accept who we are, what our limits are, and etc, we come closer to the truth.

Who we are to others also plays a key role in determining our manhood. Are you a husband who leads as well as being led? Are you a hard worker who puts in his full effort in all that you do. We have been throughout time seen as the “strong”, the courageous, as is spoken about in scripture to be that way. As well, We are not just told to be presented as warriors but also to be as kings, lovers, and teachers. We must love and respect others and be firm in truth and love. This is why men take to arms to protect peace or to liberate others, Why some truly serve others as well. Men or I should say a true man, understands that he is part of something more than himself and in knowing this, he works to help make it better or stronger. 

In today’s age we have instead allowed ourselves to a villian or act like a victim. Men are seen as weak when emotions are shown. In the race for equality between genders roles may have flipped, who brings the bread in, but don’t be discouraged and think it makes you less than a man. Take it from someone who has gone down the list, I didn’t really grasp the significance of what it meant being a man as well as trying to figure out what to do since I knew I was one. Boys eventually grow up and decisions will be made that will not only impact you but others, you must be ready for that. You will have sex and if not careful, you will have a child, you must understand the consequences and be able to handle them as they come. Being a man is being someone who acknowledges all of this and does not wait idly by. 

This post isn’t just to help those men who believe in the illusion the world has created for us. Wasn’t to help you fully grasp what being a man is either but a wake up call to help you reflect in who you are in Christ, yourself and others. What needs to change, why do you need to change? From man to man and to any women that read this and wish to pass it along to the men, by all means. This is Gee_ology signing out, be blessed all.