Remembering moments where we grow anxious of passing time as kids. Yet When I look at you, it is as if time stands still. Seconds holding you close as minutes accumulate into hours, with eyes locked upon one another. Tracing your features as presentations are drawn when you are before me. Eyes finding color by the light of your smile; See them forever change in an array as hazel gems are your treasure. Forgive me for letting such time apart not arrive sooner, yet it was not ours. But now let it continue to move around us in circles, frozen when we are close to its edge. Hands intertwined by fingers locked finding its course by natural flow. Endless promises I carry not as the present keeps us in reality from a fantasy. But know that these words are not fleeting letters passed on in the battlefield of hearts. You come into focus and as continues to drop and pass on the hourglass, I find a sense of paradise in the desert that once was. Find me tuning the strings and bring about new music with each passing word. You are your own, the queen I see.
“Don’t fall in love with a writer, for you will fall in love with their words”
I remember reading that quote and a part of me shattered. I couldn’t understand why someone would be so quick to mention this. I was quickly racing through every word ever written to see if it was true. Were my words a facade or mask? I kept reading to then have them state that when a writer declares they love, you become a project. Again, my heart started pounding, was I lie?
I have written countless poems about love and even written notes, articles, and etc about the subject. I have had 2 relationships where I was fully aware that I was a writer, as well. Unlike what most people like to say, being a writer has dramatically revealed to me the importance of words, as well as the weight each word holds. I don’t just write or speak about things as lightly as I did before. I don’t need to place eloquent words or be perceived as an intellectual because I want to be understood or draw people to truly grasping what I’m conveying.
I have been in love and I continue to love even now, as I get involved with different relationships, like friendships, even an intimate one with my girlfriend now. I remember her saying how she has never woken up to a poem being written to her and it dawned on me that my inspiration is drawn from life. It is not that people become projects or a muse, but that my emotions, in its rawest form and pure, are shown. When I write, I bleed. This is the quote that has driven me to continue in this field. I was always keen to say that I was not an extreme romantic anymore but I do hold to true love, not showcased as society has placed it on a mantle.
As a writer I can state, don’t become afraid to fall in love with us, poets, artists, and etc. You will be the only people that get to see us in our truest self. We will show you the way that love is not perceived in its purest form but as well, we will love, knowing beauty transcends our art and is captivated in who you are as well. To love a writer means to know that our words are more than words but a part of who we are, for action is drawn from them. Learn to love a writer and be shown the world as an adventure.
To what man can I describe your beauty? Has not those of old in memories you hold seen such array of an intricate being interwoven to such splendor? Yet they were cast aside by times and never anchored or so wanted to keep you as so. Lest I stand on shore and dare not embrace your call as I see your riveting light. And though they say to be with a poet you will be basked in words but let my actions bring just reward. For though I hold you and trace thoughts, emotions of yesterday’s and today’s, I plan to walk til tomorrow. Know me not as a standard cast in lots but as a man speaking words of honesty. For you are not my muse but music and you now surround the area. You are beauty for you are art and I try to understand your complexities, curves, textures and show you my own. You are my beautiful.
Find someone who makes you forget about your phone, helps you live in the moment but will have you losing track of time. Find someone as imperfect as yourself, that reveals to you humanity, while never placing them on a pedastool. Find someone that when you look at them you could see a future, but never rushing to escape these precious moments, in the present. Find someone you can laugh with, be best friends with, but still become captivated with.
The secret to finding this person? There isn’t one, just be yourself and grow. Two people will one day be connected and grow together. It isn’t magic or rocket science, it takes work, respect, trust.
Allow me to dive within the ocean of your eyes. Drowning in your mind. Give me time to reveal to you why I hold you tight. Long nights beside you while we enjoy the ride. But If you’re uncertain, I’ll confirm, it’ll be all right. Because I was left with choices to reach new heights. After I was broken and was brought back to life. You now hold a man who no longer runs wild. Let me trace your lines as you smile. And though you don’t believe in fantasy. The reality is that you are magic to me. Your words spelling new enchantments of the seas. So please, know that I don’t promise you the world. I promise to be whole and hold you close. Know that though I may sink, I keep afloat; you pull me in.
I cannot fully recall how focused I was in finding a true sense of being loved. I’m not saying all of this because I’m in a relationship now or I’m thrown through every facet of love, confessing it to the world. Yesterday was Valentine’s day and beyond any notion I once held, I found myself drawn to the holiday that I once fought against.
It wasn’t for any particular reason really. I was not consumed by consumerism and that I “had” to get my girlfriend a gift-she isn’t even like that. I just was caught in the sense of what it means to truly spend time with someone.
After work, we hung out by getting something to eat, nothing extremely fancy and not even what people consider an “epic” date. It was more so, just peaceful. Time ceased to exist and for the most part, it was as we joke about, it felt like a scene from a movie.
I feel like we have lost the sense of what love or caring for someone actually means. We are quick to ask the questions, what will I gain from this, as if thr other person owes us. I spend my days fighting my anxiety when the questions arise, will I hurt her? But this is the biggest problem we face, we don’t know the outcome of any relationship or even in a broader spectrum, event.
We can spend years trying to figure out what “works” in marriages or for couples but everyone is different. Love cannot be measured or described to its entirety by human minds for we can only grab a glimpse of what love actually is. I can say that love has always been seen and defined by God, but to truly grasp that, one has to come to the revelation of Him.
I have spent a good portion of my life beating myself up about love, intimacy, caring, and etc. I sacrificed a lot but ultimately I saw that I was selfish. When it came down actually meeting someone I trusted and understood me to the minimalist of details, I truly opened up. This is where I am now, just another human being trying to act tough, be independent and unique when I am better off being weak in the sense that I am strong doing so, by showing emotions, by coming together not only with someone I care about but others, that in my uniqueness I can help others. To love and be loved is the greatest gift you can ever experience.
Don’t let a day or occasion define a moment or experience, don’t let commitments be drawn only by promises of a dated time. Love entirely or do not love at all. To love is not just what we have defined-infatuation, lust, sex-it transcends much more than this. Love by forgiving, love by changing, love by sacrificing, love by not only loving yourself but loving others as you would like to be loved, truly love and care.
I may sound like a broken record at times but I have learned in the few years I have on this planet, that love supersedes any amount of knowledge or wisdom I have gained. Gee_ology signing out.
Worrying which wish will weather weathers, we will wrestle with wondering worth. Greatest gift graciously given. Speaking seasons sweetly seasoned shown seeping seeds spoken. High Holy hands helping helpless humans. I will never excuse this vision or where I step. Escaping death while my faith takes tests. My God is the light of my life. New sights no longer held by time. Keep me eternal, keep me close. Keep me from losing my worth, losing my soul. Without you there is no reason for being. Allow me to reflect and bear the image of Jesus. And though you keep me company, lead me to your will. A woman so invested in you that I won’t slip from spills. I don’t need a power trip, my vacation is not found in external bliss. Keep me and lead me in your ways. Passing past pastures purposely pursuing purpose. Crossing crosses crossed, crucified Christ, creating creations. I fear God, no man. I’m thankful for another day, under your grace. The sacrifice you made, humbled and blessed. It is all for your name. Keep me.