Category Archives: Social media

Proof Beyond Reason

Might have briefly mentioned this before but I am a co-host of a podcast. We just started doing Facebook live and got more engaged in the social media spectrum. Yes, I know, those of you may be wondering how can I involve myself more if I’m not that fond of it.

Truth of the matter is that we are in a new age and as long as you don’t become addicted to it or focus specifically on the brand, pride, you are good. Our mission is to tackle or discuss topics that are not really spoken about in the church, culture, and etc. We of course use a biblical worldview but in the end our message is to share the Gospel and help others get closer to God.

You can check us out on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube and soon we will have our own website. Come and join us. Proof Beyond Reason.

YouTube Say What?!

I’m on YouTube. Call the cops or the CIA. This is not a drill. 

It is quite surprising actually. I’ve now done my second video on YouTube. I really don’t know how all of it works because I’m used to just posting my podcast episodes and that’s all. Back in the days I used to game and posted vids on there. But now, I’m going to start vlogging and posting spoken words on there. 

Now bear with me, quality will not be that great in the beginning but as I learn I will post good quality stuff. For now, enjoy my rants and see my life. You can look me up at Gee ology on YouTube. 

Helladays


After a long two weeks of pushing my body to the limit, hearing screams and compliants, I made it, I’m alive.

Working retail is exactly what you hear about. Working management makes it seem tougher. Though I’m not like the managers people talk about, I still am considered the manager and I’m used to the backlash of employees and customers. 

I worked a consecutive 90+ hours one week and just finished the week before Christmas-which is Today-94 hours and not including Christmas eve.

Am I crazy? Is iy really worth it? The paycheck that I will see at the end of the week? I can’t really answer that but for the very first time I am exhausted. I’ve stated it before and I can’t believe it to be true but my body is actually slowing down. I’m used to doing things that push me to my limits and as my brain speeds up, my mental health getting better from depression and anxiety, my body is feeling the strain of all the years overworked.

It is a miracle that I made it through this year’s season. Being low on staff, hardly eating at all, sleeping 3-4 hours and working 12-21 hours a day. It also taught me something that has disappointed me and shifted my views about people today. We call it helladays at work.

People are truly consumed into materialism. I met some good people who understood how tired we were while others and mostly all other people, mind you-who were late shoppers-were completely numb to emotions. Christians who swear to representing the day to Christ would throw a fit because of lines at stores and many people who swear they are “good”, fueled by greed or anger. Then like a day after all shopping is said and done, when we get together with family, they forget. People who swear I ruined their Christmas because of the present they couldn’t get when outside of Christianity the view of Christmas is being around family and appreciating others we love, as a gift. 

But, of course, I’ll hear people say merry Christmas, the occasional texts. Which my response is always, “yea, you too”. The thing is, I still hold to everyday being the same. I don’t celebrate holidays and yes, I do see Christmas as a pagan holiday. Coming from the occult, I have seen all the dark roots of various traditions and shifts of rituals into our daily practices. In today’s world, new age consciousness has pervaded even the church and schools. 

But I can say something as well, I found myself thinking about what I truly am grateful. I’m embarrassed to say I’m grateful for certain things but for the most part, I’m happy I experienced them. For one, my niece has given me the fuel to keep going apart from God. Though I haven’t been as strong in the faith, I know I must trust in Him and continue to follow His path. I’ve let go of social media which based on who I am, it is a trap for depression and anxiety, a way for me to lose focus and so I detached from being “connected”. Though I can honestly say I’m not too fond of my job now, it has allowed me to break free from my insecurities and allowing me to talk to people without being afraid. My ex, though our differences, time and distance now, I can say I’m grateful and still hold her close in mind because I saw my flaws and grew as a man, the one she knew I could be and I’m still growing. 

Overall, this post is not only my account of the holidays but also, people in general. Though I may not hold your views, with the coming new year’s, life comes and goes. Be grateful of who you have and what you have, don’t let yourself become consumed by what the culture promotes or society. Gee_ology signing out, boom, let’s go!

Words in Action

“It’s easier said than done.”

We hear the constant words drilled into our heads, being built with firm foundations. The master builder or the creator himself giving shape to the people we are meant to be if we all Him to.

What comes to mind, words and action.

I’ve been at a loss and quite frankly, perplexed at my role as an individual in society. I feel “lost”. It is like I don’t fit in the norm or even what many describe as the “culture”. Now sure, I can have some stereotypes, I’m Asian so I love anime, I’m Dominican so I like bachata, and etc. Beyond that, there is more that meets the eye.

I don’t know how many times I will say it, I prefer that I stand out but as well, as of late, I feel some anxiety coming in. I haven’t been on social media for some time now and wonder how my friends are. Though I could text them, it seems that, just like me, we only text when it is convenient. I find myself hearing people talk about things happening in the world and I’m also out of it. I don’t watch t.v. nor pay mind to mainstream news (I’m a truther, remember, what you may call a conspiracy but). Through it all it has got me to think about my choices in life.

I’m usually one of those people who contemplates and reflects his choices and yet I know God is telling me to trust in him. The reality is, I tend to instill my ego and pride. I am good at getting things done or ignoring what I feel, which causes me to be cold.

I am literally writing from my tub and letting the water hit me while I write this on my phone(waterproof casing). I got home from another long shift and time seems to be speeding up. My life seems to be going nowhere fast and I ask myself, maybe I should be doing something bigger right now.

Should I have already had 3 books, my blog with thousands of followers, people commenting, podcast with tons of downloads, and etc by now?

I’m good at saying things like, “Be Present” but we are left with these questions. I ask myself this a lot, are we truly present?

I come to God with an open heart asking what is His will. Every time I think I know, it ends up being my own desires that ultimately fail me. What will change? What is there to change? Am I allowing myself to be changed? These are all questions that pound into my head. For the first time in a long time, I do feel lost and alone.

I feel like an outcast. I don’t blink of I get zero reads or views on articles since this has transitioned to a journal as well. When I write, I feel escape and a sense of relief from this world. I ultimately wake up and am appalled by how society has become warped. Yet here I am, voicing my own opinions through the best way I know how, writing.

This all may seem like a jumbled up array of words compiled to make sense. I mean am I supposed to write a detailed post with pictures and funny sentences, maybe a gif, to keep the reader entertained? Or am I truly supposed to write and let my soul paint the picture with words, allowing my own story, notions, or feelings come to pass. I feel limited by following guidelines. Trust me, I’ve read at least a hundred on starting a blog or bringing in an audience. It’s just that, I feel like if I was to do all that, I would lose myself, My style.

I’m not famous. I’m not like everyone else. I’m a 26 year old man that believes in true love while being single. I’m a blogger/writer/poet that hasn’t gone to college or honestly, dropped out. I haven’t the faintest clue in my next steps other than doing God’s will. I know I will continue to write, motivate, inspire, and though I have certain goals, I cannot allow my life to be plagued by anxiety anymore.

Call me what you will but I refuse to be a lost boy who never grows up, fascinated by the world. So then in turn I’m not lost, just like Tolkien quoted, “Not all who wander are lost”. I will not be captivated and be a zombie looking down on his phone all the time. I will not waste my time doing things I consider unproductive. I want to truly change the world and if I am an outcast then it is true what Jesus said, I am not from this world and if the world hated Him, then it will hate me too. I rather stand for what I believe and be built on form foundations.

Just Being Me

Breathe. It can seem simple, doesn’t it, allowing yourself to just pause for a moment and allow the air to fill your lungs. We don’t even notice it honestly. When was the last time you noticed You were breathing or even blinking for that matter? We think of it as nothing and yet never notice it unless made aware. Such it is with life, our own, we live and act life it is all not worth it, unless we are doing what we desire.

It’s not real. The world we have created within ourr own digital scope. I can’t remember the last time I had a full decent conversation without someone looking down at their phone. I am like that as well, looking for an artwork, my latest book idea, and etc. Even seeing the posts made before of people. You can’t actually smell, taste or experience it for yourself but we enjoy the 2 dimensional thumbnail as we scroll. We enjoy reading the status or posts. This is just how the world has transformed into, we can only blame ourselves for allowing the corporations to have done this to us.

I’m not writing to start a digital revolution or even create an awakening. I’ve been reflecting on the reason I write and why. I ask myself are my articles or posts even exciting? I’m not promoting myself in all these avenues or mediums and honestly, in my honest opinion, I don’t want to “engage” in what I’m recommnded to have my blog grow. I don’t need nor desire a big following. You liked what you read and wish to share it, I thank you, there really is no pressure. I am also not stupid and know that today isn’t like yesterday, change is necessary but I also will never become someone I am not.

There is the big revelation. I will not become someone I am not. For years I’ve debated with myself and have established a facade within my narcissism that discovering myself as of late reveals that j never truly knew myself. Imagine waking up and realizing you’ve been living someone else’s life or that you felt as if all was a dream. This is how I feel. Who I was or even what I did before, that wasn’t me, or better yet, it was who I know now, had to learn.

Life is what you make it to be and I’ve faced choices which will forever mark me. I cannot change them and though I value people I also value myself as well. I cannot force another to be a part of my life or see who I truly am now. But it isn’t my job to be accepted but simply to just be me. To enjoy who I am and share that with others not expecting a reaction, I should be proud of how far I’ve come. Time is in motion and I appreciate the little time I have now. So let’s face the music now and with complete honesty, I rather just be me, the me that God continues to shape.

Time To Wake Up


The world is not yours. Shocking isn’t? I’ve heard it from all sources growing up and actually believed it. Taught that the world is mine for the taking and that I can accomplish anything. Truth of the matter is, I can only accomplish what I set out to accomplish. Everything requires action and focus. The world will keep spinning and time will never stop, we can only truly learn to use our time wisely.

It’s funny, most people would say it is another episode of Lucius just disappearing from the social media spectrum. This time around I didn’t post anything about or go into a rant on how much I hate it. I literally just decided one night that I just don’t want to use it anymore. It was as simple as that and it continues to be the case even now. I’ve learned a simple fact about life, No one really cares unless they truly do. 

I’ve actually played the card desiring some sort of reaction from people and the truth is, it isn’t worth it. As I have found myself more I have also learned that I have seen people who truly care about me. Add all of this to the reality that the world truly doesn’t revolve around us. No matter what someone tells you, no matter what you see or have about the movie scarface, the world isn’t “yours”.

It’s a delusion really, if you think about it. I’m not going to get into reasons again why the sudden disappearance. I understand that it is a good platform as a writer to use to help market their work. As of now, I am in charge of everything visual and audio related from the podcast and that is really all I would like to say. But doing that has helped me see my focus on my own life. 

People will get mad at me. They will say some things in regard to their lives destined to be great. I’m not saying that it isn’t but know that the world was not built to fall into your standard. That is the problem and why we get anxiety and depression. We are taught that the world owes us or we have to be rewarded based in what we do yet it never really pan’s out on us does it? 

Reason I brought up the bit with social media is because people have said that it is a part of life now, that it will launch them to new heights. That is all fine and dandy but really, how are you spending your time is what matters. Yes, what you prioritize is what counts really. The big reason I named this article, “Time to Wake Up”, it is always about time. I’ve stated it plenty of times, be present and live in the now, and I now am saying, it’s time, it will always be time. Stop thinking that you have to wait for a grand miracle, begin today. Know how to properly use your time and not waste it on pointless things. Like I said, social media is a great platform but when you’re just rummaging timelines and liking pics for hours without using it to “launch” your abilities or network, it is a time killer. So then here it is, time. Yet Like I said, not just that but the sense to turn it all for attention or ego which as stated earlier, the world isn’t yours. 

It may grind some people’s gears so to speak when I discuss these matters. I mean we all right at times or post because it is something we are trying to share. I’m not saying it is a bad thing to do these things like share what you think but know the intention and what you invest in. This is the whole premise to everything. Are we asleep believing that the world owes us? Are we allowing time to pass us by scrolling through sites or apps while our dreams are just that, dreams? It’s time we wake up and take a serious look at out lives and I’m saying all of this in regards to my own life.  Be blessed all. 

Why Post It?

Something has struck a nerve. I’m not talking about hitting my pinky toe on the edge of a table. I’ve noticed a common trend that has occurred while I was going through My social media. I know some of you may recall that I am not too fond of social media. It isn’t really a hate I have on it it is just how I know it can become a problem.

We can honestly lose ourselves in all these applications while not seeing that it has no true application in our lives. I’m not stating that you can’t use any form as a means to network and grow. Honestly, you can promote and market a lot better than paying someone else to. But this is me getting off topic a bit. It isn’t just about social media but in a way, who we are.

I won’t deny my own tendencies as well as what I have discussed since I started this site. I am not the best example to properly demonstrate the need to retain information. But the nerve that has been struck is, knowing what information I put out.

I use social media more than what was intended I believe. I am currently in 2 writing groups, a conspiracy/research group, and I post like 4 to 5 times a day, while saving memes for days. As the days scrolling through the various sites and seeing what people post, it had me wonder about what I post and the main reason, why?

My problems are my own, the world doesn’t need to know what I go through. Such is the case with my opinions. It can be nice to share your thoughts so others can appreciate who you are but it really isn’t necessary. It is “your” life, don’t be so quick so expose it. Nor should you be so quick to present someone you are not. Not everyone deserves to be a part of your personal life.

This has become my conclusion. It doesn’t mean I won’t post on any updates on the blog. What I’m implying is, be careful what you portray to the world and others who are around you now. Sometimes we focus too much on just sharing information that wasn’t asked. We genuinely want people to know and as the culture has not turned egocentric, we see that now. But if we are to share, let us do so with the intent of being sincere, honest, and real.

In my case, I wish to only talk about my problems when I know I have solutions. Solutions that will help others who may experience the same things I do. I want to show those people that they are not alone and that they may also find a way out or through certain things. Life isn’t a highlight reel or in no way am I saying not to post about your life, just be more conscious as I know now to be. I know it can be a no brainer but as bloggers come about or readers, we all sometimes just want to rant or state opinions online. So I’ll leave off with this, it isn’t about what you post but why you post. Be blessed all. Gee_ology out.

Keep Moving

Keep it moving.

As of late, I can’t really put my finger on it but I feel “good”. I was going through my usual depressive spells but I let myself take a break from writing my usual topics and just let my emotions spill on paper. I read a quite that said that the best medication was never found in the form of a pull but through words on a paper; writing. This seems to be my medication.

I’ve gone hunting for the collection of all my poetry and rounding them up. I will be placing them into a book format and releasing it as an ebook. Not only will this get my name out there but ultimately help people who feel the same. I am still in the process of writing various stories and I just submitted my manuscript to a couple agents. Really looking forward to Nanowrimo next month as well.

I’m not letting life keep me down. I constantly am being told that I cant let my emotions control me and this is true. I motivate and encourage people. I need to learn the same lessons I teach but as well, still do things based on the wisdom and not what I am feeling. There will be things that try to keep us down but we must push through. We create our own paths but will learn our purpose when centered to truth and love.

I remember a quote I wrote on instagram, that I don’t chase things, goals, people, and etc, I build and grow with them or for it. Meaning that I work to attain something in total understanding, brick by brick and step by step, not just wanting to have that which I envision. I actually am on Instagram a lot, posting quotes and poems, check it out guys @LuciusWulfe.

I will start evolving thia blog some more and working on layouts. Helping you guys find my work a lot better. Poetry and short stories will flood into this as well so stay tuned. Will also be posting short stories I wrote intended for my short stories site but I will merge everything here, so don’t worry, I’m not taking anyone’s work.

Thank you all for the support and for those that continue to do so, don’t just sed me moving, come with me as let us continue to grow. Boom, let’s go!!

I’m Sober It

It’s funny, looking back at all the reckless things I did in my life. I remember the nights I went out with certain friends or stayed at their place to drink. I remember the days I would smoke and find the need for peace of mind by the “green”. Amidst it all, a substance or really anything became my addiction.

My mind is a constant storm that shifts through the weather of life. I used to think by abstaining from things forcefully I could find control. It was to my own failure that I saw that it wasn’t what I was doing but truly, why I was doing it that needed to change.

Recently I’ve debated with myself about various things in my life from using social media to debauchery and etc. It’s been quite awhile since I drank to the point that I lost my senses. Now close to 2 years since I smoked weed and bout a year and a half since I was physically with someone. Throughout these time spans in my walk to understanding who I am, I’ve learned to be sober minded. To learn who I am and in turn learn that I have control.

Ultimately I decide the choices that I will take, even though my mental issues may come into play. I know as well that God continues to shape me and I grow accordingly. My choice now to drink to a certain limit and to be celibate until or if I find someone and marry them, is me being sober in mind. To properly be logical not only who I am but how I affect others as well, how I use my time and etc.

I believe this is what Paul spoke about in the bible or the revelation that people see after being sober for a moment. You truly do begin to see with a clearer focus. Though I do understand some needs medically for some things, in speaking about anything not just drugs, being controlled by it. I have struggled with many things from sex, drugs, pornography, social media and etc, especially being an ex narcissist. But like scripture says, God is transforming me but as well, I must take charge at times and set my mind on other things. Things in this world would give temporary solutions but never something permanent. In turn, I’m focused now in making sure that I remain sober. Sober minded in not only who I am and having control of my life, but properly helping others, coming to God and focusing on things that will truly last.

The Social Club

Log in to Facebook. Scrolls news feed. Closes app. Opens Snapchat. Views stories and responds to messages. Closes app. Opens Instagram. Reviews likes and follows. Scrolls feed and watches stories. Closes app. Repeats throughout the day.

The ongoing struggle and battle with a vicious cycle that I believe plagues me. Social media. If you have been reading my work since I first started all of this, You know I’m not too keen with social media.

I never got into Twitter like most people, tried it for a month and deleted. Instagram seems to be the one I use the most but I’ve found that if I gain 150+ followers I delete and start again-I’m not big on being famous or having a lot of people-always happens. Though Facebook has been good to be in contact with my family and friends, I find it a waste of time. Just as one of my friends states it, you don’t post, you boast. Even with the loads of information presented, people have been centered and focused on their own lives, even if at times one can post about a situation occuring.

Now, before someone throws a fit or may get mad, social media can be used in wonderful ways. I just know that it isn’t for me particularly and I have yet to find a solid good reason. Though I do have accounts throughout, I also know I prefer the hours of writing, reading and researching and social media hinders all of that as a distraction. Now, I could have better self control some may say but the truth is I’m an impulsive person. If I truly get into anything or anyone, I will have my attention focused on that or put my all into it. It shouldn’t come as a surprise really that I also am like an old soul. I prefer to talk in person instead of through a screen or text. I prefer to enjoy time with people even though I like my alone time more.

Before the question was, if I could live without social media due to my writing and podcast so I can have some form of presence. Now the question that comes to mind is, why don’t I just get rid of it all like before? It always works out for me and I truly see moments of growth during my “ghost” mode that people refer too. People expect me to come back so they don’t worry too much. It is a common thing but as of late my mind is wondering if I should just completely remove it all together, forever. I know I can survive with out, I’ve done so before. Another question shows up which is, why do I keep coming back? What keeps me there? Before it would be hope of some kind that I never really shared. Then I knew that my account was connected to my podcast page and it would disappear. Either way it is a battle I face daily and just want to see if others share the same views or if they cut themselves out of it. Do writers really need social media?