Consistently, Deeply Rooted

Done, I finish writing. Closing my laptop I continue to hear the tv in the background. I grab my phone and move on towards scrolling down news feeds. The only sounds around me is the tv so I allow my phone to play music. I open up contacts and text my best friend. As I wait for replies I flip through channels and turn on the 3ds. I stop abruptly, a quote catches my eye as I’m scrolling, 

“writing is the only thing that when I do it, I don’t want to do something else.” – Gloria Steilman 

I remember a verse from scripture now. 

“Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me” (John 15:4). 

What am I doing? The thought plagues me all day and now I write.

Distractions. We are surrounded by them but what I never truly considered was consistency. My friends know me to be the “funny” guy. I make puns, am literally and like to joke around. People know me as the conspiracy theorist and so on. But there is a list, I’ve heard it before, I’m an extremist but as well what I now see it as, is I’m not really consistent. 

I jump around topics, go off in a tangent, and it would seem, that even apart from my narcissistic tendencies I have escaped from, I’m still getting a hold of who I am. I’m fighting with myself more than I could handle. Days I am motivational and others I allow my depression or anxiety to take hold, though I hold to my sanity. I would always believe it to be multi tasking when in fact I was never deeply rooted.

I like to put on a lot for myself, not realizing that the weight is heavy. I’ve slowly begun noticing the triggers to my OCD. In turn, I’ve changed a few things about me. One key thing is knowing I cant really ne in control of my future, no matter what I do. In this sense, as well, I’ve reduced what I swore I should be doing. 

I have found myself being so busy that in reality I am doing so much that in reality, I’m doing nothing at all. I tend to lose sight of things, being bombarded by so much going on and trying to follow it. And so the verse from scripture was ringing into my ears. How much or for how long have I said I will abide in God but truly just place it as another side project. Like some of my writing, where I take parts of my time but never really dwelling deeply within. 

I come to realize that being extreme or random is truly not beneficial. Consistency is truly of value. To have a mind that wanders or always open it reveals there is no ground or true foundation. I need to rest and reside with a firm standing, deeply rooted so that I may not stumble or fall. It is not about being a mystery to others nor seeming like I’m crazy. I truly wish to show others that I lead by example. That I teach love, truth, and have a firm understanding. Deeply rooted in God, will be consistent and focus on the task at hand; taking the necessary steps, one at a time, to climb.

Reality is a Choice

Reality is not always pleasant, but It’s real. We easily hide behind materialistic things or distractions, dulling our lives into believing we must be happy or positive all the time. Many people don’t like acknowledging sadness or issues because they think it will mess up their “vibe”. 

We have become superficial by ignoring it. We are now filled with a desire to get or spend, consume or waste. Always in a rush but never really getting anywhere. Doing things we hate only because it supplies. Having us ease our growing tension of intolerance, fear, desperation, hunger of power, with an allowance towards a common distraction. These distractions can be seen in the form of drugs, phones, food, alcohol, media, or whatever allows us to escape. 

We want to escape reality, so in turn we begin to exist but never truly live. We die early, or to better word, give an appearance of death, and it is as if we are robots, manufactured to work within a system that continues in a rapid downfall. Taught that what we need is owed to us, we continue as children then, never really growing up and experiencing the world. 

Hard work, a slow climb, filled with levels of growth and change is only seen by few. Even within relationships, we are surrounded by fantasies. It is a marvel at times. But I rather live. 

Be of example and live the life you dream, don’t merely continue asleep. Be the change, lead by example. Love, work hard, follow truth, and share with others, this is of truth value.

Destined Souls

See me not for who I once was,  I am cast out in history. 

Souls once intertwined never truly sever, unless cut with lies.

Breaking dawn, shimmering light of days break. 

Sorrows, hold me not in your embrace. 

Change is all the better, facing times of new season. 

Let sadness die and be born again. 

For when I remember, I seek not who we were, but are. 

In being, we become, while in becoming we belong.

Such it is to fly in the heavens, and once again shine like stars.

Change is Possible

They say, people can’t change. I find this to be a misconception that fills people. The reality is, people can. What truly changes someone is not their environment, people around him, but when the begin to see who they are and how they influence others, his perception of how he sees life. 

We live our lives saying people can’t change. It is true that we have so much hatred, wickedness, darkness but we also have love, potential to do go, and light. It is when we stop seeing ourselves as the center of attention and start valuing others as ourselves. We all have an equal opportunity. 

Now, sure, by our biology we may derive differently on how we operate in the world, but it is because we are so unique that we can see we form a collective, we are people, the human race. 

I’ve seen men who have truly changed their lives around, for their children, wives/husbands, and friends. People change when they see, there is something more than what we are told by others. We have to find it for ourselves for the most part. 

Never say change is not possible,I know someone may have hurt you in the post, you may feel unworthy, broken, but just know, change is possible. If we complain that the world or people can’t change, why not show them true change, let us be of proper example.  

When I Die

​I don’t want to be remembered only when I die. It’s a funny way of stating this. But let me explain. 

I just found out that Adam West passed away. I remember growing up and watching reruns of Batman on tv. The laughs and the ‘oh my god’ moments. Those days I watched Family guy and would laugh all night. Even with meeting him at Megacon, here in Orlando, just last year. 

It is crazy, now sure he was well into his age, but we aren’t really guaranteed tomorrow. I also have to remember, each day is a gift. 

That being said, when I did, I don’t want to just be remembered at that moment. Where everyone comes together or just forgets about me after a week. Now sure, time passes, but I want to leave behind a legacy. One where my words inspire others, just as C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, have had on myself, as a writer and person. Sure, let my image fade, but my work, message, live on. My body may die but my soul, forever eternal.

My life, my story

I want to take some time to share what is happening in my life. 

There’s those moments where I suddenly “snap”. I would typically make the statement that I’m unstable. Reality is, I still continue to fight my demons. These few days I’ve come to focus more on not letting my life be distracted. It is easy to lose ourselves in social media. I thought I could stay away, but following someone’s advice, no, I found myself back on, doing pointless things. But I promise I will be on here more often. I will polish my skills, improve, and bring new exciting content.

It isn’t easy. I have said it before, I have OCD, which is added by depression and anxiety. But you know what, I still fight on. Even amidst the darkest of days, I’m shown the light and remember why I never give up. I may sound like a broken record but I just love spreading good news and stories. I want my words to truly impact people.

I tend to write to help motivate others, maybe even share my story. This is gee_ology, study of my life, how I perceive the world, life. Yet, I find myself motivated by you guys. I may not have a ton of following, but anyone who took the time to read, thank you. 

I have a lot to learn as a writer, but I continue to learn, read, and grow. I hope you all stick around to see who I become. Like I say a lot, I will not let my issues stop me, writing is my escape, when I write, I bleed. You can also check out my other area, I will be posting most of my short stories or poems there. This is more so as an update and also, just a thank you. 

Breaking the lines

I’m not your typical writer/blogger. I think everyone should have that figured out by now, if you read my work. I don’t believe in formats. Trust me, I read various articles on how a blog should be, how to get people to read your work. But, reality is, I hate limitations. 

I probably will not divide into sections or lists. Now, I could, help the reader, as well, I could also just write. My friend told me something that has been marked in my heart when I began writing. He said, ” You want to go to college, learn the lessons, study your career but I’ve seen people lose their creativity doing that. Sure, you can get better and master your ‘craft’s but to what cost?”. That really stuck with me.

Now, I’m not diminishing any writer who has a degree in creative writing, English major, and etc. But what ive learned, a writer doesn’t really boast in what he/she has attained as their degree. I’m currently working on my degree in biblical studies, completely different in another scope, from writing. It is good to know foundations, proper grammar and etc, I’m not saying that it isn’t. 

What I’m trying to get across is this, to just write. If you are a blogger, writer and etc. You don’t really need to attain some level, do it now, write. We are not measured by our titles but our work. The more we write, the more others will see our story, our message, to the world. That’s my take. Be blessed.