Tag Archives: god

You Are Gold.

Don’t fear failure. You can always desire for the results or focus on the outcome. What you forget is what or how you will get to where you want to be. Learn and embrace your mistakes, your failure, because then you will truly grow. There will be many times you fall but guess what? You shall rise again as scripture speaks about, that a righteous man can fall seven times but rises again (Proverbs 24:16).

Your faith is in the certainty of who God is making you to be, not who you are already, you’re a work in progress. “Authentic faith is not believing in God but believing God. Taking God and His word and obediently following Him, Regardless of the outcome…”- Art Azurdia.

Remember that though you participate in this world set your mind in what is above. Remember His promises and know that you have been set apart, loved, and led to a new life, in Him, with Him, through Him, for Him. God allows you to grow by burning and building on your weaknesses, testing your faith like gold through fire (1 Peter 1:7). Jesus said, “It is finished”, as well as saying, “follow me”, trust in God and grow as you live, work and let your faith be built on a firm foundation. You are gold.

I’m Ready

“I was born ready! ”

We have all heard or said that quote. Amidst countless of reasons we present a state in which we believe we can overcome or endure.  Now what usually happens is that things may not turn out the way we envision.  Nonetheless, we are prepared,  even if we may not fully agree.  

My life has taken quite a turn, from being troubled by my depression and anxiety, to God fully taking control,  once again.  I honestly feel good and my mindset has shifted. 

I tend to discuss a shifting or a change that occurs in us.  I’ve learned through this recent transformation that I held to the notion in which most of us hold to, “better me”. Sometimes we tend to believe that attaining something, being someone,  or even being with someone will change us,  make us better. What if I was to tell you that no matter what is on this green Earth we won’t be a better version of ourselves. 

Before you grab the pitchforks and hunt me down, hear me out.  I hold to a biblical worldview,  I’m Christian so I hope that comes across clearly to those who do not know me or my writing.  All this being said, we are not perfect  nor should we ever cling to the idea of perfection, if it isn’t Christ. We are all sinners and because of our nature, sin entering us,  nothing we do or say, have,  will alter this.  Paul spoke about it in scripture, apart from God,  we will fail,  and only God can save /change us. 

God wants us to be image bearers.  When the Holy Spirit enters us and dwells within,  we begin to bear the fruits,  reflecting Christ. We are given a new heart and a new spirit.  Things we did or how we are, radically alters and just as He is holy,  we pursue to be it as well. 

We’ve tried it already, we worked for x amount of years, graduated college, acheieved that goal, started a diet,  but did it really change who we are? It might have changed an outcome or surrounding but ultimately did it change us. The problem we haven’t realized is that true change is internal, it is a soul and heart change,  our perceptions and that in turn breeds true transformation. 

I’ve seen people discuss how they will go on a diet and then fail within a week.  I’ve seen people struggle with pornography for years. What needs to happen is a true heart shifting and mentality.  This I’ve learned can only be done by God. Now I’m not saying it isn’t possible for anyone to truly change. We have it in us to change but without He who is life,  it becomes a vain, egocentric pursuit. We will preach about what we did and etc.  You will hear motivational people discuss that you need to be a better you, while still developing a plan that may have worked for them but does not benefit you.  We each have our own path to follow and purpose. 

So then I’ve come to realize that I am truly ready now.  Before I was my own limitation,  I was in the way.  It doesn’t mean that I will stop being myself but that I will be who I was intended on being.  It is by the grace of God through faith in Jesus that I am alive and completely different than who I was.  I could have and should have been dead long ago, in my trespasses of sin and so forth. So as a way to help others understand this I challenge everyone who reads this to see where their heart is,  are you really ready for change or will you continuously hold to being born ready,  still waiting to be a “better” you. 

Being A Man


I’ve heard it all before. The questions arising as if I’m seeking the answers once again. Before it all may sound confusing I’m talking about being a man. 

Some can ask me, “Did I really do it, crack the code?”. There isn’t a “code” to be cracked. The common issue I’ve come to realize that has plagued us men is that we have allowed the world to define who we are.

God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Gen. 1:27)

In Genesis, God reveals to us that He made man in his image. We’ve been allowed to embody the same characteristics of God; To feel, love, and etc. Some can argue and say we were not completely human as we ate from the tree, allowing us to know good and evil. Reality is, the dire consequence of that moment bred sin, evil into the world, our connection to walk with God lost, that is til Jesus. 

From as early as I can remember, I’ve been told that I wouldn’t be a man until x reasons. Until I was able to drive, drink, had sex, was 18, could vote, had a job, bought a car, bought a house, had a family, and etc. As I grew, I kept checking off the qualifications and always asked myself the simple question, am I a man? 

People can tell me that they know when, yet again, They hold to what someone defined for them. It isn’t like one day we wake up and say, “Hey, I’m no longer a boy!”. Puberty can hit us and still, people will say that girls mature faster. In my life I had to mature dramatically due to being homeless and the effects of my choices, the street life and etc. So then does all of that qualifies me as being a man? No. Does being 26 years old guarantee I’m a man? No.

Throughout my years I’ve seen that being a man can only truly be determined by 3 things. Who we are in Christ, who we are to ourselves, and to others.

Now some can debate and dismiss this notion that we are determined by who we are in Christ, I am Christian of course, so a non believer will simply say that their manhood is not defined by a fantasy. Yet to my point, Christ, who was a man that lived and breathed, historically was said to have lived a blameless, perfect life, so even if one does not believe in his divinity, can still come to the realization that he is the standard we are to meet. For those in the faith, Christ is not only the example we follow but also the God who shaped us in his image, to reflect who He is. 

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” (Psalm 1:1-3)

Our hope is not only found in Christ but our manhood. Christ has foreseen who we are and has set us out to tend to His work, to obey and live the godly life.

“Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.” (Gen. 2:15)

When it comes to who we are to ourselves it is about learning self-love as well being honest with oneself. It is easy to try to go to the gym or even put in work for a new look, car, etc. But why do you do those things? Do we lie to ourselves to attain something and if so, would it truly benefit is or help inflate our ego? To know who we are is to learn to respect ourselves as much as others. Sex will not make you a man, No matter how many females you do it with. Being in a relationship or getting married won’t either. To learn your flaws, work on them and improve, this is what allows us to grow. We are not perfect and when we learn to accept who we are, what our limits are, and etc, we come closer to the truth.

Who we are to others also plays a key role in determining our manhood. Are you a husband who leads as well as being led? Are you a hard worker who puts in his full effort in all that you do. We have been throughout time seen as the “strong”, the courageous, as is spoken about in scripture to be that way. As well, We are not just told to be presented as warriors but also to be as kings, lovers, and teachers. We must love and respect others and be firm in truth and love. This is why men take to arms to protect peace or to liberate others, Why some truly serve others as well. Men or I should say a true man, understands that he is part of something more than himself and in knowing this, he works to help make it better or stronger. 

In today’s age we have instead allowed ourselves to a villian or act like a victim. Men are seen as weak when emotions are shown. In the race for equality between genders roles may have flipped, who brings the bread in, but don’t be discouraged and think it makes you less than a man. Take it from someone who has gone down the list, I didn’t really grasp the significance of what it meant being a man as well as trying to figure out what to do since I knew I was one. Boys eventually grow up and decisions will be made that will not only impact you but others, you must be ready for that. You will have sex and if not careful, you will have a child, you must understand the consequences and be able to handle them as they come. Being a man is being someone who acknowledges all of this and does not wait idly by. 

This post isn’t just to help those men who believe in the illusion the world has created for us. Wasn’t to help you fully grasp what being a man is either but a wake up call to help you reflect in who you are in Christ, yourself and others. What needs to change, why do you need to change? From man to man and to any women that read this and wish to pass it along to the men, by all means. This is Gee_ology signing out, be blessed all.

Acting Love

Let’s not throw dirt under the rug. Let’s put everything out there on the plate. It is better to be honest and lead by example than being seen as one who just talks the talk and even though you can’t physically see me, walk the walk.

I’m Christian, sorry to burst your bubble of you expected more or less. I honestly don’t have to apologize and I’m not going to “push” my beliefs on anyone. A lot of what I write will reflect my beliefs though.

Now, to the topic at hand. I’ve been busy from but for the most part, like I stated before, I’ve been reflecting my life. I can easily say that I’m Christian but the real question is, are my fruits beating the reality of what I claim to be?

Being a 26 year old male is not easy in this world. Guys are stereotyped and judges by our race or past. I’m Dominican and Chinese so I usually fall into the category of being a party animal, drunk, player/womanizer, or just reserved. Yet, I don’t fit into any of the occasional norms.

I’m still single since my last relationship which is coming to 2 years. I haven’t had sex in about that same allotted time and even though I’ve tried to be abstinent we all know as human beings, temptation can strike, like with pornography. I’m not a saint nor claim to be one. But I do know I rather not engage intimately with someone unless I’m in love and heading towards marriage. I honestly can’t do it anymore. The games or body hopping people do nowadays to what I used to do during my early years. I haven’t really had a huge body count (saying it creeps me out) but I do know I’ve only ever truly felt I was making love with one person out of the few. Let’s lay it out there, I’m a sex addict, an ex alcoholic, and unstable person who has the worst kind of OCD. As apart to most people with OCD, I have violent or sexual images pervade my mind along with the usual compulsive thoughts, cleanliness, ticks and etc.

Now, when I say unbalanced I mean I can jump from being eccentric to completely shutting down on you. My emotions will be almost non-existent and it honestly bothers me.

People think that as a Christian we are supposed to be these angelic people who are sin free now. Now, yes, Christ paid the penalty and the spirit is working within us to shape us in the image of Christ and we obey God; We also know that the flesh draws us to want to call prey to our desires.

I’ve reduced the amount of alcohol I consume to only special events and just enough to not allow myself to be tipsy. I’ve prayed and grown to see what affects my lust. I’ve also promised God I would be abstinent till marriage. Now I may be living what is perceived a celibate life now but I do so until I know I am ready to pursue or God allows me to see who he has prepared for me. At times we focus on waiting and not realizing God wants us to act and I intend to discern.

The reality is that the Christi an life is not easy. The world can influence us. The songs we listen to, shows we watch, people we are around. We can be a light in the darkness but remember with every storm the fire can be overcome if not covered sufficiently.

I advise all my brothers and sisters in the faith as well as myself, when I look back at this post. Trust in God. Be led in love and let love be your guide, to love is the greatest of gifts and the ultimate sacrifice, to love is to act and in the act We reveal who we are and meant to be. God bless you all. Gee_ology out.

Open Heart

​To love and be loved is truly the greatest reward.

I remember these words I write years ago. They now resonate within me and help me with my current transformation. I could feel it, another shift in my mental as I draw closer to God. 

My honesty and humbleness has now manifested beyond comprehension. I could feel the sense of truly wishing to help people but not just wishing but actually doing. I’ve also come to the realization of who I was. Before I knew who I was I would ignore the fact of the damage I had done. I would self loathe only to fall into depression. Yet, now, I wish to reveal who I truly am to others and noticing a vital problem. No one really knows me as I am now. 

I’ve hurt so many people in the past or had self interest that trust was lost. Even with this being said I also noticed how much time, distance truly separates people. I’ve been trying to connect with those I cared about and yet it seems to be difficult. It’s weird but I truly feel alone, though I have my family and few close friends. It’s like I’m reintroducing myself to most people. 

Remember the stories or the reputation I held? That was just a facade. It’s something I was told to do, create an identity to never truly be known. So you heard about the guy who was so quick to sleep around or out partying. Yet because of my past I learned to never embody myself to that which would distract my studies. Though I occasionally found myself under bottles or smoking to escape reality. Til I found that self control and being sober, facing my problems, brought me better benefits. 

I was a kid for the most part, thinking as a child and never understanding the world and how to embrace people. It was all about me. Yet God has been speaking to me. To follow him I must die daily. To love in such a way that nothing else will pour out from my heart. To be filled with his love that I seek no validation or pleasure from something else because he is enough. 

I can’t take back the words spoken or the actions but I can only be who he is making me to be. I don’t have to prove I’m changed. He tells me, Just love and be a light, an example. I will not be the same as before and to understand I am not of this world. Many who walk that path now that I used to be with can say I’ve grown “soft” but in reality I’ve grown strong. I invested too much on vain pursuits. 

I remember the nights wondering what was wrong with the world. We’ve become so cold as people. I would shut myself off and ignore everyone. Yet God stepped in. It was always my Father, showering me in his grace, always. For that I am beyond grateful. He continues to lead me away from that which is damaging to my being. Rest in me are the words written, cast all your anxieties on me… My identity is not found by what others say but in who I am in Christ. 

I’ve grown tired of these games I play with myself. One moment I’m happy and then I get triggered and fall to my own mental prison. I’m exhausted actually. Falling into the affairs of love in what the world declares it to be only to get hurt or hurt others. I’m more than that, I don’t believe in soulmates just in two people truly coming together and working through all odds, not in perfection but towards unity as a family and couple, loving beyond conditions, as intended. So I appear now as an old soul and I am not in a rush towards marriage as before. 

In essence, my heart is now open. Like if God was here with me performing open heart surgery and others can see my what lies in my heart. From the darkness of my past to who I am now. I am not my past. 

It’s funny actually, how I can discuss these things so openly now while years ago I would build walls and only those I let in would see beyond them. Or truly how a shift commenced by one person breaking through. 

My life is not my own. It is God’s, for him I live and breathe. I wish to share this love with others and the truth of who He is. I can’t explain it, I try to and yet it is beyond words. I know people will think it odd of me or even wonder what happened to Gee? I won’t keep explaining it, just grow with me. I’m sorry to all I’ve hurt and those who may not trust me now because of who I was, see me for who I am, now. 

I love you all, those that read my work, those that have seen my journey and walk with me. Life is truly amazing. And what I am trying to convey to all is that love truly is what life is about. Love with your all. Love at all times. Love and never give up on love, ever. Don’t be afraid to love and show your real emotions. Be blessed. This is Gee_ology aka Lucius, signing out.

Followers and Servants of Christ

Christians, In name only?

I’ve heard and seen it many times before; “Christian” is a title so loosely used. Given to identify many, though few can reveal its meaning. One where hypocrisy follows suit while it is not so and many other Gospels are promoted or taught but is not of God. The reality is the man who claims to be Christian, proud in himself as to forget others, is but a man who professes but is not of Christ. It is more than attending churches or having the title. Sitting in a garage does not make you a car. Biblically speaking, if we were to compare Christianity as it is labeled and seen, many would fall short to its standard. But what can be said of a Christian, is he not one who believes and follows Christ? To solely say one believes in him, God, is not enough. On the contrary, belief in God does not mean one is saved or born again.

Under Laws?

So then many ask what should be done and I shall say as scripture reveals, we ultimately do nothing for in and by Christ we have been saved. Yet, the commandments are seen, to love God and love thy neighbor. In loving God we are known by God, to love God means we obey him. One can try to dissuade and claim we must abide to the requirements of the old law but in Christ the law has passed but it does not mean that it has lost its values. The laws were made to help his people at the time but because of Christ we now abide under him. Just because we are not bond by the laws does not give us excuse to sin.

Loving Others

In loving our neighbor, it comes with the heart of God bestowed unto us. The true Christian loves without condition or for gain but is willing to sacrifice and give to his brother or sister. We are able to bear one another and rebuke, bringing others back from their sin as members of the body and bride of Christ. Not inflated by our egos because we are his chosen people nor to allow the things of this world to separate us from He who is enough.

New Creation

The Christian has denied himself and carries his cross. Tossing away his old notions and repenting, he begins to allow the Spirit to work within him and change him to the image of Christ; Being a light bearer and witness to the glory of God. He is able to defend his beliefs with love and humility, though tested. He has become a new creation and given a heart of flesh not of stone.

Strengthened in Christ

The Christian acts not religious but knows traditions followed to give worship to the Father. He is not weak but is given strength by the Spirit. As he as well knows, he does not require the happiness sought in this world but finds joy in Christ. Though he knows as well that tribulations may arise and his nature may cause moments of brokenness, the Lord calls and restores. He boasts not in himself but in the Lord who he gives all praise. As one who can say or call himself, Christian, I speak as to not have people think I am the standing marker. I am but a man and speak or write with the same words directed and taught in scripture. To live is Christ and die is gain. Thus, we are born again.

Revealing Yourself Through Love

We long to be understood or interpreted the right way. Most of the time it is hard. We are stereotyped and categorized by experiences or even the culture. Take me for example, because of my past, people would assume I am the same, yet I’ve grown since those days. They assume they know me, based on what they hear, yet my life is a complex array of masks worn or tales told to keep people distant. Yet what I can honestly state now is if you would like to know me for who I truly am, ask now. There is a lot I kept hidden but I humbly ask for forgiveness to all my friends and family.

We hear about people being a type of way, a race being a type of way, and that keeps us from revealing who we are. So we look for memes, status’s, quotes, or anything that will allow us to share what is on our mind, in our hearts. My advice? Let it out, no matter what you think others will say about it, about you, let it out. I’m not saying let it go. We think we can just replace feelings or thoughts with nothingness, as if it never was. I keep saying it, it is okay to feel, it is okay to express yourself.

You are not what most people see you as. I’ve longed to understand this, to know myself and it took having everything I thought I knew, come crashing down. From believing I thought I knew love, to find true love. From seeing myself in my darkest of hours to see that there is truly light. And now, I try to share this with others, every chance I get. Please, understand this. Give people chances, not everyone is like your ex, that pervy person, the “lunatic”, the abusive parents, and believe it or not, people can change. But also be aware not to be taken for granted. You can change as well but so learn that you have value and a purpose as well.

We long to be understood, yet have grown so cold trying to understand others and instead we label them. Yes, I’m Christian, I know myself not to be perfect, my life is centered in and with God, but as well, I know myself to be a wretched mess born again by the grace of God.

Listen carefully, you are beautiful in your own way, you were made to shine. What you surround yourself with, ultimately shapes you. What you reveal in your actions, determines your heart choices. Words are wonderful and when given true meaning, can mark and imprint themselves in one’s soul. I generally speak or write in such a way to grab an audience, but listen, I’m speaking to you. Yes, you reading this now, you are loved, in knowing this, be filled with love and in turn, let it overflow. Let not this culture shape you into someone who loses their humanity. Be a light, reflect who you are and be understood. You can say you feel alone or you are better off alone, but trust me, it isn’t worth it. I’ve experienced a life where I was, or I should say, felt alone. I always considered myself the villian, only because everyone would eventually leave. But that was my narcissistic affect. I wanted the world to be centered around me, my ego, but that is not love, life.

To be understood is to be naked, to find those you can trust, share your gifts, talents, love without condition or selfish intentions. To be understood is to learn to be who you are and first come to understand who you are, through the darkness you have faced and the blessings you consider the “good”. You do not find happiness nor love, it is a choice, it requires action, sacrifice, and it is something you do everyday. I’m writing this now, in the early mornings because it is something I strongly feel the world needs to take in and learn. You are not alone, I am here, the voice to the voiceless. Observing the world around me and studying it but also helping others see what I’ve come to interpret as truth, I’m Gee_ology but also, I am Lucius, just a man, human, just like you. Be blessed.

Words of Encouragent

I usually have trouble sleeping at night if I don’t take my pills. This being said, I always find myself writing and in a way, preaching to myself about life. These are just words that help me and hopefully will help someone else as well.

Things never turn out exactly how you want it to. But guess what? That’s ok. You think you can gain control, so you determine what is said or how you appear. You keep people at a distance. Yet you remain uncertain so you disappear and return. You make an image as if you are hoping someone sees the real you. You believe you can find yourself in others or this image yet remain lost within your own mind. Feeling the gravity you continuously look outward for ways to satisfy an internal need. The past resurfacing and the future unknown.

You’re scared…but it’s ok…you’re going to be fine. You can act tough but it’s ok to feel the way you are. You are beautiful. You are loved. There has been those you pushed away or have loved. But no one is truly the same, be willing to learn and grow. Though it is uncertain to you, God has not left your side. Seek him and be healed. Time doesn’t heal, only God does that.

You may believe you have the answers but you don’t at times. There is a balance in life, not of evil but of truth, understanding and love. You must be filled with it all to truly be changed. You are still young and learning but hear the voice that speaks to you with reason, you are a child of God, you are loved. Allow the light to restore your soul.

Understanding Christianity

Understand this, I don’t speak about God because I want to be seen as “holy”. I speak it because it is truth. I spent 8 years in the occult and magick only to be revealed the truth and repent. I spend the rest of my life, dedicated to reveal the truth, share the Gospel, my calling, to preach.
The early Christians didn’t decide to start their own religion, nor did Jesus. We don’t follow a “man”, Jesus is not Michael, not a prophet or a mere teacher. That belief came from occultic roots, the freemasonry that had their people form religions or cults to change the minds of people, they formed the Mormoms, Seventh Day Adventists, Jehovah’s Witness and etc, these in turn are not Christian. Christianity was only perceived or made to be as one as the Catholic church emerged. Reading scripture by the pope was made unlawful.
Early Christians were killed because of their beliefs. If we look at ancient texts, history, even scripture we see see how many tried to deceive people with another philosophy or dissuade even within the church. Yet God’s truth has held firm, the books in the dead sea scrolls were Gnostic not scripture. Jesus’ body was not taken, guards were placed day and night, it would take soldiers to remove them and in turn the rock that covered the tomb, and it would have been reported. Hundreds witnessed Christ, resurrected and even accounts apart from scripture state how early Christians were said to see him, live differently by repenting, helping others and worshipping Jesus, because they saw just as scripture shows, he is the Christ. They saw him as God, Thomas declared, my Lord and my God. The spirit was revealed as God, when Ananias lied to not man but to God in the books of Acts.
I can inform and tell people about all of this but that will not change people. Only God can truly change peoples hearts. I simply preach the Gospel and using my testimony, I witness and pray I could lead others to Christ. I am a man being transformed to the image of Christ. That young boy who was an athiest to the lost kid who was demonically possessed or influenced by substances to this renewed man. His kingdom is coming soon and we must repent and believe in Jesus because only through him can we have life. No one can come to the Father but through him and if at any time anyone is unsure or has questions upon that which I speak I can help you understand. We are all in this together brothers and sisters and I love you all dearly.

Speaking with Reason

Listen, brothers, sisters, we don’t speak or write foolish things upon our claims as Christians in saying we follow Jesus, the truth. Most will derive there understanding as follows: Jesus was either a fool, liar, a good teacher, or who he said he was, the son of God. It is historically inaccurate to say he never existed, even apart of scripture it can be revealed. It is wrong to state he was a fool for he spoke with knowledge and truth of what was known in that age, even coming to Pilate and revealing he was without guilt. One can say he was a good teacher but must also understand the miracles he allowed to come to pass, healing the sick, raising the dead. No man has or will ever do what Jesus has done. Now to say or come to the conclusion that he is who he said he was, the son of God, something is revealed to you when you understand this.

Why were the early Christians willing to die for following Jesus? It is even spoken about outside of scripture how the “Christians” lived differently, helping the poor, living a way apart from sin, repenting, helping one another, and worshiping Jesus for they believed him to be raised from the dead. Raised from the dead. That in itself was a bold claim and yet we also see Paul declaring that if no one believed his testimony to ask those hundreds of people who did see the Christ resurrected. He is the son of God, “before Abraham was, ‘I Am’, the first and the last”. The one who said, I and the Father are one, the Jews knew at the time what he was declaring. “My Lord and my God”, he did not refute or disallow worship to him. The Father spoke saying, “even the angels worship him”, all was given to him, heaven and Earth. People question the trinity or Jesus, but our finite minds will never truly comprehend.

There is one God: The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are distinct Persons. The Bible speaks of the Father as God (Philippians 1:2), Jesus as God (Titus 2:13), and the Holy Spirit as God (Acts 5:3–4). But when it is revealed and we are allowed to grasp the supremacy of Christ, the reality of God, we are held in awe. Stand firm in your beliefs. Christianity is not religion, it is not a way of works though we understand faith without works is dead. We are not saved by our own accord for God has predestined us as the elect, we understand we are saved by grace through faith. Keep running the race. Don’t be swayed by false doctrines or high sounding philosophies. Scripture has stood the test of time and provided historical authenticity. Science doesn’t dispute the bible, nor does history. Research and study. Seek the Lord and he shall reveal all through his wisdom. Let our faith stand amidst the trials and let us live proclaiming his kingdom come, will be done. Leading many towards the truth, in Jesus’ name, Amen.