I’ve heard it all before. The questions arising as if I’m seeking the answers once again. Before it all may sound confusing I’m talking about being a man.
Some can ask me, “Did I really do it, crack the code?”. There isn’t a “code” to be cracked. The common issue I’ve come to realize that has plagued us men is that we have allowed the world to define who we are.
God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Gen. 1:27)
In Genesis, God reveals to us that He made man in his image. We’ve been allowed to embody the same characteristics of God; To feel, love, and etc. Some can argue and say we were not completely human as we ate from the tree, allowing us to know good and evil. Reality is, the dire consequence of that moment bred sin, evil into the world, our connection to walk with God lost, that is til Jesus.
From as early as I can remember, I’ve been told that I wouldn’t be a man until x reasons. Until I was able to drive, drink, had sex, was 18, could vote, had a job, bought a car, bought a house, had a family, and etc. As I grew, I kept checking off the qualifications and always asked myself the simple question, am I a man?
People can tell me that they know when, yet again, They hold to what someone defined for them. It isn’t like one day we wake up and say, “Hey, I’m no longer a boy!”. Puberty can hit us and still, people will say that girls mature faster. In my life I had to mature dramatically due to being homeless and the effects of my choices, the street life and etc. So then does all of that qualifies me as being a man? No. Does being 26 years old guarantee I’m a man? No.
Throughout my years I’ve seen that being a man can only truly be determined by 3 things. Who we are in Christ, who we are to ourselves, and to others.
Now some can debate and dismiss this notion that we are determined by who we are in Christ, I am Christian of course, so a non believer will simply say that their manhood is not defined by a fantasy. Yet to my point, Christ, who was a man that lived and breathed, historically was said to have lived a blameless, perfect life, so even if one does not believe in his divinity, can still come to the realization that he is the standard we are to meet. For those in the faith, Christ is not only the example we follow but also the God who shaped us in his image, to reflect who He is.
“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” (Psalm 1:1-3)
Our hope is not only found in Christ but our manhood. Christ has foreseen who we are and has set us out to tend to His work, to obey and live the godly life.
“Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.” (Gen. 2:15)
When it comes to who we are to ourselves it is about learning self-love as well being honest with oneself. It is easy to try to go to the gym or even put in work for a new look, car, etc. But why do you do those things? Do we lie to ourselves to attain something and if so, would it truly benefit is or help inflate our ego? To know who we are is to learn to respect ourselves as much as others. Sex will not make you a man, No matter how many females you do it with. Being in a relationship or getting married won’t either. To learn your flaws, work on them and improve, this is what allows us to grow. We are not perfect and when we learn to accept who we are, what our limits are, and etc, we come closer to the truth.
Who we are to others also plays a key role in determining our manhood. Are you a husband who leads as well as being led? Are you a hard worker who puts in his full effort in all that you do. We have been throughout time seen as the “strong”, the courageous, as is spoken about in scripture to be that way. As well, We are not just told to be presented as warriors but also to be as kings, lovers, and teachers. We must love and respect others and be firm in truth and love. This is why men take to arms to protect peace or to liberate others, Why some truly serve others as well. Men or I should say a true man, understands that he is part of something more than himself and in knowing this, he works to help make it better or stronger.
In today’s age we have instead allowed ourselves to a villian or act like a victim. Men are seen as weak when emotions are shown. In the race for equality between genders roles may have flipped, who brings the bread in, but don’t be discouraged and think it makes you less than a man. Take it from someone who has gone down the list, I didn’t really grasp the significance of what it meant being a man as well as trying to figure out what to do since I knew I was one. Boys eventually grow up and decisions will be made that will not only impact you but others, you must be ready for that. You will have sex and if not careful, you will have a child, you must understand the consequences and be able to handle them as they come. Being a man is being someone who acknowledges all of this and does not wait idly by.
This post isn’t just to help those men who believe in the illusion the world has created for us. Wasn’t to help you fully grasp what being a man is either but a wake up call to help you reflect in who you are in Christ, yourself and others. What needs to change, why do you need to change? From man to man and to any women that read this and wish to pass it along to the men, by all means. This is Gee_ology signing out, be blessed all.