Tag Archives: lifestyle

Breathe.

Spending hours passing times endless counts drawn in by anxious minds racing to meet the end.

Breathe.

Catch the warm air filling lungs as it hooks you to life’s intoxication where we begin to rise by day and rest in nights embrace.

Breathe.

Let the emotions of thoughts touch you as the wind brushing against your skin to reflect a day of yesterday.

Breathe.

Love shall find you in lights blissful awakening when you begin to share your inner glow.

Breathe.

Hold to truth and let it be known.

Breathe.

Presently present futures awaiting with numbers unforeseen but let it not impede or dissuade the changes faced.

Breathe.

You are alive.

Being A Man


I’ve heard it all before. The questions arising as if I’m seeking the answers once again. Before it all may sound confusing I’m talking about being a man. 

Some can ask me, “Did I really do it, crack the code?”. There isn’t a “code” to be cracked. The common issue I’ve come to realize that has plagued us men is that we have allowed the world to define who we are.

God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. (Gen. 1:27)

In Genesis, God reveals to us that He made man in his image. We’ve been allowed to embody the same characteristics of God; To feel, love, and etc. Some can argue and say we were not completely human as we ate from the tree, allowing us to know good and evil. Reality is, the dire consequence of that moment bred sin, evil into the world, our connection to walk with God lost, that is til Jesus. 

From as early as I can remember, I’ve been told that I wouldn’t be a man until x reasons. Until I was able to drive, drink, had sex, was 18, could vote, had a job, bought a car, bought a house, had a family, and etc. As I grew, I kept checking off the qualifications and always asked myself the simple question, am I a man? 

People can tell me that they know when, yet again, They hold to what someone defined for them. It isn’t like one day we wake up and say, “Hey, I’m no longer a boy!”. Puberty can hit us and still, people will say that girls mature faster. In my life I had to mature dramatically due to being homeless and the effects of my choices, the street life and etc. So then does all of that qualifies me as being a man? No. Does being 26 years old guarantee I’m a man? No.

Throughout my years I’ve seen that being a man can only truly be determined by 3 things. Who we are in Christ, who we are to ourselves, and to others.

Now some can debate and dismiss this notion that we are determined by who we are in Christ, I am Christian of course, so a non believer will simply say that their manhood is not defined by a fantasy. Yet to my point, Christ, who was a man that lived and breathed, historically was said to have lived a blameless, perfect life, so even if one does not believe in his divinity, can still come to the realization that he is the standard we are to meet. For those in the faith, Christ is not only the example we follow but also the God who shaped us in his image, to reflect who He is. 

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night. He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper.” (Psalm 1:1-3)

Our hope is not only found in Christ but our manhood. Christ has foreseen who we are and has set us out to tend to His work, to obey and live the godly life.

“Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend and keep it.” (Gen. 2:15)

When it comes to who we are to ourselves it is about learning self-love as well being honest with oneself. It is easy to try to go to the gym or even put in work for a new look, car, etc. But why do you do those things? Do we lie to ourselves to attain something and if so, would it truly benefit is or help inflate our ego? To know who we are is to learn to respect ourselves as much as others. Sex will not make you a man, No matter how many females you do it with. Being in a relationship or getting married won’t either. To learn your flaws, work on them and improve, this is what allows us to grow. We are not perfect and when we learn to accept who we are, what our limits are, and etc, we come closer to the truth.

Who we are to others also plays a key role in determining our manhood. Are you a husband who leads as well as being led? Are you a hard worker who puts in his full effort in all that you do. We have been throughout time seen as the “strong”, the courageous, as is spoken about in scripture to be that way. As well, We are not just told to be presented as warriors but also to be as kings, lovers, and teachers. We must love and respect others and be firm in truth and love. This is why men take to arms to protect peace or to liberate others, Why some truly serve others as well. Men or I should say a true man, understands that he is part of something more than himself and in knowing this, he works to help make it better or stronger. 

In today’s age we have instead allowed ourselves to a villian or act like a victim. Men are seen as weak when emotions are shown. In the race for equality between genders roles may have flipped, who brings the bread in, but don’t be discouraged and think it makes you less than a man. Take it from someone who has gone down the list, I didn’t really grasp the significance of what it meant being a man as well as trying to figure out what to do since I knew I was one. Boys eventually grow up and decisions will be made that will not only impact you but others, you must be ready for that. You will have sex and if not careful, you will have a child, you must understand the consequences and be able to handle them as they come. Being a man is being someone who acknowledges all of this and does not wait idly by. 

This post isn’t just to help those men who believe in the illusion the world has created for us. Wasn’t to help you fully grasp what being a man is either but a wake up call to help you reflect in who you are in Christ, yourself and others. What needs to change, why do you need to change? From man to man and to any women that read this and wish to pass it along to the men, by all means. This is Gee_ology signing out, be blessed all.

Acting Love

Let’s not throw dirt under the rug. Let’s put everything out there on the plate. It is better to be honest and lead by example than being seen as one who just talks the talk and even though you can’t physically see me, walk the walk.

I’m Christian, sorry to burst your bubble of you expected more or less. I honestly don’t have to apologize and I’m not going to “push” my beliefs on anyone. A lot of what I write will reflect my beliefs though.

Now, to the topic at hand. I’ve been busy from but for the most part, like I stated before, I’ve been reflecting my life. I can easily say that I’m Christian but the real question is, are my fruits beating the reality of what I claim to be?

Being a 26 year old male is not easy in this world. Guys are stereotyped and judges by our race or past. I’m Dominican and Chinese so I usually fall into the category of being a party animal, drunk, player/womanizer, or just reserved. Yet, I don’t fit into any of the occasional norms.

I’m still single since my last relationship which is coming to 2 years. I haven’t had sex in about that same allotted time and even though I’ve tried to be abstinent we all know as human beings, temptation can strike, like with pornography. I’m not a saint nor claim to be one. But I do know I rather not engage intimately with someone unless I’m in love and heading towards marriage. I honestly can’t do it anymore. The games or body hopping people do nowadays to what I used to do during my early years. I haven’t really had a huge body count (saying it creeps me out) but I do know I’ve only ever truly felt I was making love with one person out of the few. Let’s lay it out there, I’m a sex addict, an ex alcoholic, and unstable person who has the worst kind of OCD. As apart to most people with OCD, I have violent or sexual images pervade my mind along with the usual compulsive thoughts, cleanliness, ticks and etc.

Now, when I say unbalanced I mean I can jump from being eccentric to completely shutting down on you. My emotions will be almost non-existent and it honestly bothers me.

People think that as a Christian we are supposed to be these angelic people who are sin free now. Now, yes, Christ paid the penalty and the spirit is working within us to shape us in the image of Christ and we obey God; We also know that the flesh draws us to want to call prey to our desires.

I’ve reduced the amount of alcohol I consume to only special events and just enough to not allow myself to be tipsy. I’ve prayed and grown to see what affects my lust. I’ve also promised God I would be abstinent till marriage. Now I may be living what is perceived a celibate life now but I do so until I know I am ready to pursue or God allows me to see who he has prepared for me. At times we focus on waiting and not realizing God wants us to act and I intend to discern.

The reality is that the Christi an life is not easy. The world can influence us. The songs we listen to, shows we watch, people we are around. We can be a light in the darkness but remember with every storm the fire can be overcome if not covered sufficiently.

I advise all my brothers and sisters in the faith as well as myself, when I look back at this post. Trust in God. Be led in love and let love be your guide, to love is the greatest of gifts and the ultimate sacrifice, to love is to act and in the act We reveal who we are and meant to be. God bless you all. Gee_ology out.

Acting Upon Our Choices

Hmm…should I use this word here or that word there? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

It’s funny really, how we look at the words we write and decide what word “works” best. We spend our time trying to get our points across as writers, bloggers, poets, and etc. Defined by our words it becomes more than descriptions of what we de but reveals an action and who we are.

I’m not the best, nor do I want to be considered the best writer, I just write. I’ve learned from my experiences and as I continue on in life how, not only in writing but in life, we over analyze things. We spend our time debating with ourselves about what we are going to do, say, eat and etc. Contrary to belief, it doesn’t matter what someone says, we care about what others say about us. The thing that sets us apart from others is our individuality, which in turn can help determine if we accept others opinions of us or we acknowledge it; know ourselves well enough that we ignore it and learn from it.

I’m not a motivational speaker, my blog is not ranging in the 1000s of subscribers and I’m not pushing anyone to read my words by asking for emails. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying those that do have that are something or that it wouldn’t be nice to have people reading your work and waiting for your next post. What I’m trying to write is this, I know where I stand as a writer, where I am in life, now. I am not going to pretend to be someone I am not.

I love to write, though my post count is nothing compared to the daily posts others push. I still manage to let myself bleed and find an escape, which is writing. I remember how a customer came into the store and asked me, since he learned I’m a writer, what it “takes”. I chuckled. I don’t have a fully published book under my name yet, though I’ve written one and compiled my ebook series awaiting thorough editing, even my collection of poems within a book. Yet I looked at him and told him, just write. Sounds weird doesn’t it, sounds like it is easy, but it isn’t. I told him you’re not an aspiring writer, you are a writer, you just need to break free from defeating yourself.

There is a kicker in what I’m writing. We over think things and in the end defeat ourselves. We become lost in trends or distractions, we see others doing something and because it works for them, we think it will work for us. I’ve found that I am still creating my “voice” or style. I don’t have years of writing under my belt, just a year. Yet I will rather write and be criticized so I could properly learn to improve. I can debate with myself about life but only when I decide to take the risk and do it will I see action and learn from the experience.

As of late, I’ve retreated again from social media as those who do read my posts can attest. It has really been an eye opener. After all the senseless posts I see or meaningless drevels, I find I am more myself away from that sort of environment. I’m clear headed. It can work for others but not for me so I purge it out od my life.

People think my choices at times are extreme but it is because of what I’m saying now, we are our worst enemies. There may or may not be something better but don’t spend hours contemplating the “what ifs”, life is too short. Take the risk. But also understand, there is a difference with being rash and actually discerning, in a logical manner, and doing something. Learn who you are, become content with yourself, change what you feel needs to change, and then learn to move forward.

Be blessed.

Progressive Education

You dropped a hundred and fifty grand on a f**in’ education you coulda got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library. – Will, Good Will Hunting

Sorry, sir, You don’t have proper schooling, you don’t have a degree. A common trend I’ve seen a lot of in the states. I’ve seen people boast about their degrees or titles. Nowadays, looking at education, talking to kids, it’s amazing how things are turning out. We are being conditioned to a system that truly just teaches to memorize and what we learn, not applied.

I watched good will hunting the other day and it had me stop and think. For the most part, I could associate myself with Will. He is considered a genius, self taught and a nact for excelling. For me, school was always easy, boring but easy so I hardly tried or cared for. After I graduated high school, I found myself deleting information and relearning various subjects. I found myself researching and reading everything/anything that I was curious about. And the more I did, the less I cared about college.

Like I’ve stated, people like boasting at times they went to school, only to end up working a job they don’t want or love, only “need” it, to survive. I’ve seen people going to a trade school or skipping it altogether and finding ways to make more than someone with a degree. What people need to realize is that intelligence is not determined by an iq test, degree, and etc. Question what you’re taught and do your own research as well.

Now sure, I might be going for a degree in biblical studies but do I really need that? Paul and the other apostles read the word and allowed the spirit to impart wisdom onto them. They didn’t go to seminary. Yet what I see even in the church is a sense of entitlement. I can’t preach because I’m not a leader or pastor? I can’t discuss matters because I don’t hold a degree? Now sure, some qualifications may precede, be ordained, studied materials and subjects. I’m not saying all of it is worthless or a waste. When done properly and applied, education is shown to create progress and change. It’s the mindset.

When I first came to the realization that I’m a writer, a constant thought plagued me. I thought, “I have no creative writing experience, my grammar is iffy, and my punctuation isn’t the best. A year later, here I am. I would read about writers who just decided to write, they didn’t major in English. They inspired me to keep going, to not be restricted by how I should word something but to truly reveal the message carved in my heart. Just the same, I stand in between people and preach, being self taught. Like I stated, whatever I didn’t know how to do, I learned. I would spend hours looking and learning til I understood something.

We’ve lost the drive as people. I hear people nowadays just say, I can’t wait to finish school, get a job, maybe get married, then hopefully retire. It is as if we have taken it as a chore, spending 12-20 years of our lives just to say we did it and go to a 9 to 5, til we can vacation. Instead of going with a mindset of what can I learn so that I may apply it and change the world. Where have our dreams gone to? Some people say we simply woke up, but I say, you’ve merely become distracted by the fantasy.

This isn’t supposed to make you feel good, it is a matter of conviction. What are you really doing with your life? Are you waiting for those 30 years to end and then just let it be tossed away, or are going to continue to move forward, help bring change? Are you going to spend thousands on something you could learn and may need to invest in that company, future? These are questions we must answer. I’m not saying college, universities, are bad. What I’m conveying is, is it going to define who you are, what you do, or will you simply hide behind it and later in life let it fade, only leaving a dent in your life. It’s okay to have goals, dreams, proper education, but let it create a better you, progression, and never forsaking the potential within you.

Voicing A Brand

​Just do it. The first thing that comes to mind is Nike, ok, some can say no, maybe. How about, I’m loving it, anything? Ah, the fascination or the implications of setting up a slogan, catchphrase, or even a logo. Now I was going to have two different articles but then, wham, inspiration struck and here I am. By the title of this article some might think I’m going to start talking about marketing. Now some of you might be slightly true, if you know how I write, then no as well. More so, it is about truly marketing yourself. Woah, am I not the guy who wrote before not to be narcissistic. Yes, yes, calm down and understand.

From the beginning of what I can remember I was surrounded by propaganda. I guess it was one of the reasons why I took digital design classes and graphics at a technical college. I found a sense of manipulation, control, that I could enforce while people had no idea to a certain extent. The colors used, the design in general, to even the words. This is where everything became interesting, from that I saw something shift in my generation I didn’t see before. Change. Growing up we are shown the fashion trends, the culture as a whole. From it people wear the brands, become part of the brand and on my opinion, become branded. Like a horse? You can say that in a way. I saw people become “slaves” to what they invested their time and money. With that being said I also saw the rise of what I’m slowly seeing today, a revolution of people finding themselves. 

Look at the latest trend, you have people buying or investing in certain things, sure. Then you shift over to the out of norm people, those who don’t cling to social media(me being one of them), invested on their phones 24/7, unbranded as to the point that they will buy something cause it looks good not just cause it has a specific logo or is from a certain place. This is what I’m writing about now, branding yourself, being yourself, having a voice.

As a writer I always read that you had to have your own voice, heck, even in school or art class you learn to develop your own style. That’s honestly something I fear losing if I was to actually go to school for creative writing or majoring in english, you get taught all these techniques, “ways” to do things, I feel you might lose your originality. But as well that’s what I’ve learned about life as well. We are so caught up at times about what is new and follow the trend we forget and slowly lose ourselves. Trust me I worked in a retail store(clothing) for 6 years as a manager and I’ve seen how kids, teens, even adults get. We look at how the items were made and honestly we see people making our items, working through horrible conditions or getting payed close to nothing. Yet here we are, allowing ours elves to be branded, investing our money because something might have a specific little design by some goliath of a company. Don’t get me wrong, I admire some of the things people do, like I’ve written before I understand the struggle to become a designer, I still have pages of my designs for clothes I made. 

What I’m conveying is to truly look at what you are branding? Are you wearing something because you honestly think it’s cool or is it because everyone else is wearing it? Are you listening or liking the things you do because of you? I feel like we should relook at it all. Sure we will never truly be unique, let’s be honest. We either adapt what we learn or turn something into our own style once we understand something, we make it ours and our lives truly become our brand. It’s funny, most people when they first see me say I look mean or scary, a week later, they can repeat my puns, jokes, or even somethings I usually say or might know what I’ll do, in itself I began to be a “brand”. In my writing, though I may not be on par with the greatestof writers, I still cling to being “different” having a voice. With the title of this article, I wanted not only to grab attention but also incite something in us all. We are used to buying brands but why not live it, live your life, change up your style, find the things YOU like and be somebody not just an everybody. In no way shape or form am I saying to ignore the work others may do, there are designs and etc which should be appreciated and I back them up, support them when I could so they could continue. It is more so to give a sense of who we are individually and what we can contribute so that people can say we are each part of a unified body, humanity, changing the world. Each of us has different dreams so why not wake up and realize that only you can accomplish it. Voice your brand, don’t just think about it or write it, become it, be you.

Writing Your Story

The light from the screen reflects upon my eyes. It’s a good solid 5 minutes before I notice I’m just staring at the screen. I even begin to realize that I no longer spend countless hours playing a game or browsing through social media. I notice that it’s really not even in front of my computer screen, it’s my phone or tablet-okay, we can all agree they are mini computers. Here I am, now finally typing words or should I better state it as tapping words? I’ve noticed as of late everything has changed in my life, some can see it in my writing but better yet, they see it in my life. It wasn’t til recently that I saw this, like I said before, but it has sparked something inside of me.

Now I’ve said it many times, who am I for someone to read my work? I’m 25, haven’t fully attended college, have never taken classes in writing, was never in the school paper, haven’t published a book, and no, none of my family members are writers. I’m just a normal guy, scratch that, I’m completely random but also dedicated, when I set my mind on something it becomes my drive. All of this being the case, I’m now seeing who I truly am, a writer. I’ve written before how we should just write or even how everything I thought I would be doing I never did. Let’s be honest, nothing we plan ever goes the way we want. Things happen in life and everything shifts drastically, while it is true some people still accomplish their “dreams”. It’s all good said and done, but something I’ve questioned is what does one gain through all the sacrifice? We typically lose ourselves in that pursuit. Now don’t get me wrong, some people could start to get ready to throw their shoes but bare with me. What I’m trying to convey is this, we push everything and reach that “top” peak, that the sky isn’t the limit, then we begin to see gravity weigh us down.

I’ve lived my early childhood wishing to be something I am not today. Life hit me very young and though I am goofy, random, and awkward today, I also had to grow up. I was homeless at a time, I managed to finish high school, while my family members didn’t, I was fortunate. Though I didn’t go to some fancy college, I helped my family get their careers, finish school, they became chefs, and even then only my sister continues in that pursuit. Nothing truly works out in our favor it would seem. Life likes throwing curve balls, for example, a track star could one day get into an accident and lose his legs, a painter could become blind, and etc. So then I awoke to a new notion, what is life to chase after such pursuits and for us to forget to live?

All right I’ll ready the target sign so you could throw whatever you want. But read carefully and understand what I’m saying. Life is short, I’m not telling anyone to stop chasing their dreams, nor am I saying it is all meaningless, what I’m saying is don’t just do something or be something simply for you. In the end sure some can say you only have yourself but then with who are you going to share your victories?

I’m very prideful, let me toss that on the table, it can seem I’m humble at times but seriously, it takes a lot for me to be humble, nice or even considerate, though I may have a huge heart. The world made me cold you could say, I didn’t necessarily choose my life and yet I am choosing what I do now with it. For me, I see what I’m capable of, before I wanted to build an empire and yet for what? To gain money, be rich, and never truly want? Then what? There is more to life than that, everyone who has made it can tell you the same thing, a rich man is not one who has everything but has little and can share it with those who are around and in that he is rich.

I’m trying to say this, I know who I am now, I see I’ve been given the curiousity, the ability to convey words to reach people, the imagination to create words and allow my experiences or creativity to manifest through words. Sure, I could draw as well but I’ve found that I am truly me when I write, and in being so, it is to reach people. Books were always my escape or a way to understand the world and I want to do the same to someone else. In so being this reason, this is more so written to try to get one to think of the choices or your pursuits. Is it really just for you or to help others, share your gifts, in love and not just a vain pursuit? Remember you only live once so will you live to exist or begin to live to truly have a life? But also don’t be upset if you don’t “make it”, life is meant to be lived and your greatest blessing might not be your career or even materialistic gain, but family and friends. Take it from someone who loves to write and doesn’t mind if he isn’t getting paid at the moment for it. As long as I can share what I learn and help others grow, that’s the biggest reward, to know my words aren’t just being ignored and may hopefully touch one’s soul.

The Morning Light

You wake noticing the breath you take. A mistake, the life that you contemplate? Wanting to disinegrate or never truly face fate. Dates passing by through days and years. Clear vision no longer viable as you steer through fears. Near the end but you notice the air, in, out. Mouth inhaling, exhaling and so you try to shout. What’s it all about, for we know not the future. You’re certain you still don’t know your purpose. Still searching within things that can fill the drought within us so we long and are yearning. A passion that we strive to over take us and have us turn and be transformed. We look for it within love, looking to the heavens above. But take a moment and notice what catches your eye. A shimmering light, reflected by that which shines through the skies. Creeping through your curtains and its only a ray. Masked by the beauty of the day yet you don’t know what to say. Lay there, acknowledge it, another second. It’s been given to you as if it is a gift, the present. Another morning.

Your problems may not have gone away but you can be grateful. We forget the beauty and the wonderful experience of merely waking up. To know you woke up. Another day that you can change, be change, or even just impact someone around you. We all strive to be this great person and trust me you are. It’s truly amazing how each person affects someone.

I look back at the choices I’ve made and know if not for my choices some people would not be who they are today. That though I may be just a small grain of sand compared to the universe, I was a part of history. That without me, things would have been different. You are important. I cannot stress that enough nor can I just say I wish I could take certain things back, no. Though I have loved and lost, it is better than not living at all. From someone who struggled to find his identity, I know who I am now, more than ever. And what I’ve learned is to live, truly live.

Be grateful of the life you have now. Things may not be where you want it to be but it’s a new day to push yourself to see the vision ahead of you. Be willing to take risks, meet new people, love, sacrifice. Not everyone will be the next oprah, but you will be or can be what motivates or who motivates the next “leader” of the next generation. The person we look up to, the light that shines through our darkest days. To me it has been God, in the days I thought I lost it all, he shun through. All I can say is to be a light and if you are through your own darkness, if you think all hope is lost, know there will be a morning. But also, take this into consideration, if you can’t see a light, then truly learn to be one and help the flames in others begin to come through, light up others. Be blessed, much love. Gee out.

I Don’t Know Yet I’ll Grow

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God. – Corrie Ten Boom

I used to be afraid of the unknown. I know we all have at one time been in fear of what we do not know. The truth is, I struggle with anxiety at times. To those who have anxiety they know the things we go through. But apart from all that what I am trying to relay is the fact of how we seek to know that which is unknown, the future.

The truth is, we don’t know, we will never know the future. We can have a thousand things change in the very moment we make or think of a choice or do something now. We don’t truly know who we will even end up with or even how long someone will be in our life. To think we spend our days working towards the dreams we have when we are young and then years may pass by and our whole future is completely different.

To know not is not a problem, the problem we continuously have is that we allow the anxiety to over take us, we start over thinking and it affects us. We try to rush into things and yet we lose focus of what we have now. We are quick to think of what will be or could be, that we forget what simply “is”.

There is a beauty with the present or not knowing, they say ignorance is bliss. To me the statement that ignorance is bliss is implied not on mere knowledge but on what is truly never known, the future. We work and shape our future but that only truly happens, today, now. You can be with someone even and instead of thinking or making these huge plans or trying to move forward, begin to grow and be in the moment. We don’t know what will happen in the next hour, day, year.

The unknown is scary, but also the unknown is a way for us to grow. The unknown is also a way for us to take a risk. We don’t know, true, but also we know what we will do to sacrifice to have something, become something, be with someone. Things are uncertain, we truly don’t have control of life, no matter what we believe. In Christianity we are taught that God will provide what we need, we can trust in him, but as well we will endure hardship. As well as showing us that no man knows the return of Christ which in turn shows me no man as well knows the future at all. We learn to live today and worry not of the future, to trust in God. It is not to force beliefs but like I have stated, my beliefs are reflected in my writing and my writing is to inspire and motivate people, to become better.

Are you going to continue fearing the unknown or are you going to take risks as well as living in the moment? Learn to be happy, live, truly live.

You’re not alone

You wake and notice you are not where you want to be. You still find yourself thinking about distant memories that you thought you were over with. So much is running through your head and you have no where to go. You put on your head phones, crank the radio or take a drive, start drinking, etc. This is the beginning of what you would consider a “bad” day. You start over thinking and start noticing all your problems so you start thinking you want to give up. This is what is like dealing with anxiety and depression.

You would think that someone who loves deeply, follows God with his whole self that such thoughts wouldn’t intrude, but we are not perfect. I have thoughts randomly, I continuously need reassurance, and it’s not because I’m a cancer, I don’t abide to horoscopes. There will be dark times but that’s why we need to notice we can’t do things on our at times.

We always try to do things on our own. We sometimes allow ourselves to drown by the chains we are held down by. The chains made by our thoughts, past we hold on to, anxieties, insecurities, and etc. But what I’ve found is that we sometimes need to be heard, hugged, even at times just to let go and be free. More importantly I’ve found that we need God.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

No matter my imperfections, mistakes I’ve made, how long I contemplate or even the amount of weights. He replaces it love and breaks free the chains, relieves the pain. No matter how deep the ocean, with faith we are walking upon the waters. The darker it seems to get, the more I can see the light, the stars and the space before me is nothing to me. It is not even about “feeling good”, you truly become restored, your state of mind and in turn your life changes when you allow him to take control. In all honesty you are not always going to be happy. Living the Christian life isn’t easy, in fact it is hard. You are tempted at every corner and those in your past will question why you no longer partake in all your old ways(1 pet. 4:4).
In a culture and world that is so egocentric, we boast on our accomplishes, focus simply on ourselves or what we have gained and lose the sense of being a party of a community or body. You can say it is all about “me”. We reveal our highlights on Facebook or snap it and lose the value of a moment by a snap. When we allow our emotions to be known we are seen as trying to want attention when simply we need counsel and don’t want to feel alone. Yet through it all I’ve learned the greatest of commandments, to love God and your neighbor. Within these two, I’ve found a sense of peace.
When I am troubled or can’t sleep I reflect on everything I’ve been through and the people who helped me get here, even if they just influenced me. My boasting is not of my own but to God, for his mercy and grace has allowed me to grow. Its amazing to know you are loved, unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and that you are truly not alone. It’s ok and it will all be okay, even if you don’t believe in god, know that there are others willing to help you, life isn’t easy, things happen that are not in your control, but you don’t have to walk alone.